The QUEEN'S CELEBRATION

Observer, Volume XVI, Issue 953, 3 April 1897, Page 2

The QUEEN'S CELEBRATION

Is the New Zealand Show Represents

tive Enough.?

Somebody has estimated that it is going to cost the country something like £30,000 to be represented in London by Dick Seddon and the contingents of military men and Maoris that accompany him. It is a tidy sum, truly, and out of all proportion to the benefits -we are likely to get from the venture. But then, on the other hand, this is an effective method of advertising the. colony. Our representatives will show the people of England what New Zealand |s capable of producing in the way of statesmen, soldiers and aboriginal natives, though, at the same time, we are not likely to find in the old country such a profitable market for these products as we have already got for our tallow and frozen mutton.

However, that is apart from the question. It has been resolved that this expedition shall go to {London — hang the expense — and the only thing that remains for ns to do is to make it as representative of our people and institutions as we possibly can. Why should the expedition be confined to statesmen, soldiers, and Maoris? Why

should ita representative character not be .widened ? Why should we not send Home something original — something novel — to excite the wonder and arouse the admiration of- Londoners. Maoris are novel enough, no doubt, but there the originality of our show ends. They have thousands of statesmen going to seed in London, though probably none of them is so great aB our King Richard I. ; but as for soldiers, they are a drug in the market, and the worst they have at Home ought to be an improvement on the best of ours.

Now, if we would be original, let us send to London a detachment of oar advanced women, with Elizabeth by the Grace of God, the only live female mayor the world has ever seen, at their head. They would create a sensation at the Diamond Celebration—we are sure they wonld — unless somebody got up and gave them a front Beat next Her Gracious Majesty herself. It would be a novelty all right. The New Zealand advanced women know how things ought to be ran, and they would ran the Queen's show for all it was worth, and would leave an impression upon the effete political institutions of the Old World that would make New Zealand famous for all time to come. Perhaps Dick Seddon would kick if we saddled upon him a detachment of grim-visaged gimlet females. But what of that ? They would keep Dick in the strict path of rectitude, and guard him through the snares and pitfalls of life in London. And then look at the sensation they would make.

Then, again, there are our Labour LordsThey have no Latonr Lords in Great Britain. There, men raise themselves to high places in the conncils of their country by strength of character and force of ability. Here, men are singled out for distinction because of their blatant tongues and their frontispieces of brass, and are dubbed ' honourable ' in contradistinction to their less assertive comrades, who are only honeßt, industrious, working men. Why not send one or two of these Labour Lords to London, so that people there might examine the specimen at their leisure, and get copies of it manufactured. The Labour Lord is warranted to last as long as his screw goes on. He is a permanent institution — poor John Ballance's greatest blunder. And he never would be missed.

Then there are the Prohibitionists. The Obsebver will guarantee that they haven't got any Prohibitionists like ours in London. The country could do with a rest from the Prohibition faction for a few months— perhaps the ship that bore them hence might even get lost — and it would not be a bad idea to ship a crowd of them away with Seddon. There would be plenty of money forthcoming to defray the cost. We are sure there would. And the Prohibitionists would find lots of fearful examples in London, and might even be persuaded to reform the British aristocracy, and the whole world of London wonld flock to see and admire them. We are sure they would — especially to admire them.

There is yet another class in our community that ought to be represented in this expedition. We mean the mine boomers and promoters. They are a bit slack just now, and could afford, the time for the little voyage, and would certainly not object to it until scrip revived, if the expenses were borne by the public. And the public might well pay them. Look at the benefit we would derive by sending Home forty or fifty good hustling mine floaters. Look at the help they would give J. H. Witheford ? And the effect upon the British capitalist would be lasting. He would remember our mine floaters with mixed feelings when the glories of the Diamond Celebration, and Dick Seddou, and the New Zealand pageant of military men and Maoris were forgotten.