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Observer, Volume XVI, Issue 952, 27 March 1897, Page 16

' Are you not called ' Charlie the .Liar ' ? ' asked a prisoner cross-examining a witness in the Supreme Court at "Wellington last week. ' No,' indignantly replied the witness ; ' plenty of my mates do call me that, but (magnanimously) I take no notice of 'em. I clap it down to their ig'orance.'

Half-a-dozen painters and paperhangers were finishing the ' doing-up ' of a certain house not a hundred miles from Ponsonby when the wife of the owner asked the foreman what was a good thing for cleaning picture frames. The foreman winked hard at his fellow-workmen as he said whisky was the best thing he knew of. ' Well,' said the old lady, ' I have a number of pictures with very dirty frameß, and I'll find the whisky if one of your men will do the cleaning.' ' "With pleasure, mum,' said the foreman, who has no sympathy with the Prohibition movement. ' The dame soon came black with a big ' square ' bottle full of whisky. Left to themselves, the hands lost no time in getting outside that old Scotch, and then used soap and water to clean the frames. When the ' square ' bottle was empty and the cleaning done, the foreman summoned the lady of the house. 'There,' he said, 'what do you think of the pictures? Is whisky a good thing to clean frameß with or isn't it ?' ' Ji. splendid thing !' chuckled the old lady, 1 wasn't it lucky I kept the whisky V ' Kept it ?' ' Yes, I washed my little dog Tiny with that very whisky last week. He was so much troubled with fl .' But

The nineteenth annual picnic of the National Independent Order of Oddfellows, which came off at Fine Island on Saturday last, was a genuine unqualified successIt certainly deserved to be thoroughly successful, for no pains or trouble had been spaced to make it so. Bro. J. T. B. Dines is a very prince among organising secretaries, and had very energetic co-workers in a strong committee presided over by Bro. C B. Thome. It is estimated that about four thousand people took part in the picnic, and the Eagle and Osprey had to make five trips to transport the entire party to their destination. The picnickers were blest with fine weather, refreshments were liberally dispensed, a first-class programme of sports was carried through to everyone's entire satisfaction, and the Newton Band, under Mr Trussell, enlivened the proceedings with frequent selections of music. Among the invited guests were the officers of kindred societies and they were moßt hospitably entertained. The sports were keenly contested, one of the events which excited special interest being the surgeons' race between Dr. Moir and Dr. "Walker, who ran with their socks on. The little doctor, with his start of fifteen yards, went the pace for all he was worth and got home first, but" Dr. Walker, despite his heavy weight and. stiff handicap, made it warm wort for him. Bros. Fenton, Thomas Phillips and T. Cole, were strictly impartial judges of the sports, while Bros. H. Phillips and Stewart as handicappers, and Bro. K. Norden as starter, faithfully discharged their duties. Mr Armstrong also rendered valuable assistance.