FRETFUL PORCUPINE

Observer, Volume XVI, Issue 921, 5 September 1896, Page 7

FRETFUL PORCUPINE

A Quill fop Everyone.

The City Council has just passed a muchneeded by-law against persons assembling in streets or other public places in the city for the purpose of betting. This is a needed reform because the frequent assemblage of suspicious looking, expectorating, lounging wagerers and ' bookies ' on the corner of Vulcan Lane and vicinity has been a notorious nusiance for a long time past. The authorities might go a little farther, and compel the crowd of mining men who congregate in front of the Exchange to move out of the way of pedestrians. One set of gamblers should not be allowed to go free. There are other street nusiancesj too, the Conncil would do well to take notice of, such as the sweeping of rubbish from shop doors in the morning while

pedestrians are passing along the footpaths, and the unpacking of caseß by tradesmen on the footway. Some tradesmen in Newton, too, seem to think the footpath is meant for them to show their goods on, and they frequently take oilcloth, carpet, etc., out to the footpath and lay it out to measure it, sublimely unconscious of the inconvenience they are causing passers-by. These fellows have altogether too much ' liberty of the subject ' about them, and the police never seem to think of ordering them to kept the footway clear. A funny scene was enacted on the Queen-street wharf the other afternoon, when Mayor Holland and our priceless P. A. P. were returning from paying their official visit to Captain Krieg, of the German gunboat Falke, and drink the health of the Kaiser in lager beer. A number of British bine-jackets, who had just come down from the Rifle Range, where they had been prize-firing, were gathered at the man-of-war steps of the wharf waiting for

the boat from their ship to come off. Wken they saw the German boat's crew 'pjaak oars' as they arrived at the steps with the Dentscher skipper's ' distinguished' guests, and the petty officer in charge, respectfully salute the Mayor and Town Clerk as they stepped ashore, the taiß on the wharf thought that I. J. H. and P. A. P. must be some very big bugs indeed, retired admirals or warlike colonels or governors, or something. So a warrant officer, who happened to be in charge of the bluejackets, at once passed the order along and drew up- his boys in bine in line at the top of the steps, and as the important municipal functionaries stepped up on to the wharf they were honoured in the most approved naval style by the sailors presenting arms, while the warrant officer gravely saluted Auckland's civic dignitaries as if they had been Lord Glasgow, Sir George Grey and the Duke of Cambridge all rolled into one. It only wanted a bngler to sound the ' general salute ' to make it complete. But the rude civilian crowd was not impressed, and was actually bo rude as to langh consnmedly when it caught sight of the dapper Town Clerk's astonished but intensely pleased air when he found himself being saluted by real live armed sailors in uniform. P.A is now thinking of buying a naval uniform with plenty of gold lace on it to live up to that memorable salnte.

That Hospital of oars will never be quiet it seems. There is material for another row now brewing between the matron and the medical superintendent of that much vexed institution. Miss Squire and £Dr.

Baldwin don't appear to 'hit it ' very well, judging from the fact, as mentioned at a meeting of the Hospital Board this week, that the new matron doesn't care to send her official communications to the Board per medium of Dr. Baldwin, who is the recognised intermediary between the Hospital staff and the Board. The other day the chairman received a letter from Miss Squire relating to affairs at the Hospital, and as she had not sent it through 'the proper channel,' he sent it back to her with an intimation to forward it through the medical superintendent. As likely as not this will lead to an inquiry. Such trumpery things seem to smoulder a long time amongst such inflammable snrroundings as the Hospital wards. It is curious to see how very valorous dear old England is when she has got some trumpery little country to bally. Take, for instance, the bombardment of Zanzibar the other day. The darkey who ruled the affaire of that torrid scrap of territory

died suddenly the other day, and a relative of his got up and perched himself oh the weatherboard throne. Bat, apparently because the British Consul was not consulted in the matter, the British Admiral bombarded the tows! The funniest part of it is that those who resisted were termed ' rebels 'l Rebels against whom? is the natural query. Certainly not against the British, for John Bull did not own Zanzibar'then, whatever may be the case when this issue is published. It is very evident that good old John considers the earth is his and the fulness thereof, even unto the Zanzibar. No doubt, the noble tars who served those guns will be decorated with medals for their valour in shelling a few defenceless old tumble • down shanties which did duty for the ' palace.' Once more we rise to inquire, what use are onr J.P.'a, anyhow ? They will roll tip all right on the Police Court bench when they have a little axe to grind, or some 'respectably connected ' acquaintances to get off, but ordinarily they are only a dejnßion and a nuisance. Last Friday morn ing it was found impossible to get two justices to preside over the Police Court business. Those Jay Pees who were appealed to by telephone or otherwise! all with one accord began to make excuses, and the Court business had to wait for three-quarters of an honr, until Mr Northcroft, S.M., was able to take it over after finishing his debt cases in the other Court. This sort of thing goes to show the utter inefficiency of the J.P. system, and the uselessness of our ' great unpaid. 1 One or two more magistrates throughout the district are what are wanted, and the sooner our amateur ' beaks ' are consigned to the limbo of things abolished the better. The good old sea-serpent has turned np again— this time disporting himself in the ocean off Mangawhare, Northern Wairoa. Three gumdiggers saw the aquatic monster, which was the shape of an eel, and amused itself by rearing straight up out of the water to a height of 20ft and then falling like a kauri tree. It was a fearsome sight, and the three awe-stricken spectators say they'll never drink again. There's fame, if not a fortune, waiting the man who will be the first to put salt on the sea-serpent's tail. In Karangabape Road the heathen Chinee is entering into opposition with the white fruiterer, with the result that the latter, who cannot live on an onion and the whiff of an opium pipe, finds his or her business falling off. People will buy from Chinamen, especially the wives of working men, who are the worst offenders in this respect, and will not see that they are only damaging their fellow-countrymen by doing so. ' John is so clean, you know,' they say. Well, here is a case, reported in Sydney, which shows how ' clean ' the Asiatic fruiterer is : ' Some time ago a lady living in the suburbs of Sydney, when in town, bought a bag of bananas — presumably the popular ' fourteen for sixpence ' at ' a foreigner's ' shop. When she got home, a portion of a human hand was found amongst the fruit. The police have since removed the owner (who was a leper) to the lazarette, hands and bananas.' And this is what we will come to if we continue, with our weather-eye carefully closed, to allow the Chinese influx into New Zealand. Last week we took occasion to refer to those antiquated relics of law, our shipping and seamen's statutes. Another case now comes from Dunedin. A London-bound barque, the Deva, laden with sulphide ore from Port Pirie, had to put into Port Chalmers, and five of her seamen were instantly arrested for disobeying ' lawful commands ' on the high seas, and the case was adjourned. The vessel, it appears, was in such trim as to give the men grave fears for her safety, and at last they went aft and told the captain they did not think the vessel was sea-worthy, and they refused to work her except to the nearest port, which happened to be Dunedin. Lloyds' [ surveyor deposed that the ship was seaworthy, but a shipwright and others said it was not, and there the case stands. But is it not an anomaly that men can be sent to prison straightway because they ventured to raise a voice in defence of their lives ? Why could not a formal inquiry have been held at Dunedin on the barque's arrival in order to determine whether the ship was really seaworthy or not, instead of brutally sending the men to gaol because they dared to protest against rounding the Horn in a leaky or overladen ship ? Tbis law, which continually assumes that common sailors are blackguards and mutinous dogs, and the ship-captain and ship-owners angels of light in comparison to their ' hands,' is a relic of barbarism, and only fools of sailors would stand it. Of course there are very often faults on both sides, bat a Customs inquiry into the seaworthiness or otherwise of the Deva might have very well preceded a legal proceeding # But all of this goes to prove that the sea-* man is as much in the hands of the ' old man ' as a dog or the ship's cat.