The FRETFUL PORCUPINE

Observer, Volume XVI, Issue 912, 20 June 1896, Page 7

The FRETFUL PORCUPINE

A Quill for Everyone.

Hebe's a pretty kettle of fish. Mr Jnstice W illiams will not assent to the sale of the Ward Association debts by the Colonial Bank. Also, Mr Justice Williams says in plain language that there has been fraud somewhere, and that farther legal proceedings are necessary. This means that somebody hasgot to toe the mark in another Court. Ward has resigned his portfolio of Colonial Treasurer, and the Government ie setting up a new Committee of Inquiry to investigate the transactions of the Bank of New Zealand, Colonial Bank, and other concerns before and after 1894. If this means anything, it means that there was much to disclose-againßt the political opponents of the Government as a result of the last inquiry, but that the Committee mercifully refrained from disclosing it. N ow that the Government is forced to it, as a result of the treatment of Ward, the Government are evidently going to bring it all oat. Hustings material for the elections, no doubt.

George Boswell Howard failed to get the divorce he wanted from his wife. Mrs Howard did not oppose it, and admitted that she signed the so-called confession. But she also declared on oath that she only signed it under compulsion Howard said he had a revolver in the room, and then she wrote the confession and several letters at his dictation. The divorce was refused, and costs were granted to Whitley, the corespondent.

Cattle on the Lake Road are a serious menace to the public safety. It is only a narrow road after all, and some little time ago a Devonport doctor was thrown from his horse and nearly broke his neck through a collision in the darkness with one of these derelict cows. Also, these cattle are persistently depastured in the gardens of Lake residents, and for the sake of a few mouthfuls of grass much damage to shrubs and garden plaDts is continually done. Is it too much to suggest that the Shore police should keep an eye on these cattle ?

A local money-lender advertises secondhand pianos for sale at £12, £18, £25, and £30, and adds that they axe worth doable. More than one pitiful atory of domestic trouble hidden behind that advertisement, if the truth were known.

Michael Ambrose is a mild young man for a small tea party. He was courting a girl at Danevirke, and wrote to her that he was ill and in want of money, with the result that the girl seat him £10. But Michael wasn't ill at all. He was simply languishing for a tour with another dnlcinea, and hs hadn't the wherewithal to pay for the trip. Therefore, he used the Danevirke girl's £10 to pay the expenses. He has now been sent to prison for three montns to atone for his mean duplicity.

The fight between the Milners and the anti-Milners at St. Andrew's still continues. One party are resolved to have the rev. gentleman as their minister. The other party are equally resolved that they will not have him. Meanwhile, another call has been received by Mr Milne from Oamaru, but as the stipend in the latter case is less than that for St. Andrew's, it is fair to conclude that the Oamaru call is not from the Lord. There-is every indication at the moment of "writing that the trouble will end in a serious split in the congregation of St. Andrew's.

It is too late now to try and shut down on the new woman She has got her footing properly. At Hastings, the other day, Miss Parsons, daughter of the local stationmaster, occupied the pulpit at the Wesleyan Church on Sunday evening, and delivered a telling address to a full congegation. .But we suppose it is in the natural fitness of things that the pulpit should be occupied by Parsons.

The fact is being commented upon in the South that the statistics of the police-court prove Auckland to be the worst of the large towns in the colony in the matter of juvenile depravity, i.e., as producing the greatest amount of juvenile immorality. And yet this evil cannot be attributed to Chinese influences as in Wellington and Dunedin. The Southern press is asking for the cause. Is it not largely due to a lax and indolent police system ?

The fresh election of a school committee for the Ponsonby district takes place on Saturday evening next. It is believed that the Board chose Saturday for the contest so that the belligerent parties might have all day on Sunday to recover from the spree.

Unique advertisement from the Anckland Star : — WILL the person who has my Step-ladder inform me of it and oblige. That man will be advertising his head as lost, stolen, or Btrayed one of these days. Ours is surely a very grateful Government to those that serve it Several weeks ago, Constable Brooking died at Waihi from blood poisoning, contracted while performing a duty of a disagreeable character. Naturally, it would be supposed that something would be done by the authorities for the widow and young orphans so suddenly deprived of their bread-winner. On the contrary, Brooking's body was scarcely laid in the grave before a summary order from the police office was served upon her, requiring her to quit the police residence without delay. There was no consideration whatever shown to her. No cheque for her husband's arrears of salary was sent to her, though the same mail brought the pay of her husband's successor, and she was practically in the position of being turned out of the house without a sixpence in her pocket. And this was her treatment after her husband had forfeited his life in the performance of his duties.

Thus the Bulletin :—- When the late Maori king, Tawhiao, was induced to go to England with a view to placing his race's land-grievance before Queen Victoria, Her Majesty declined to see him. 'No matter,' said Tawhiao to a Maorilander, whom he met in a London restaurant, and who won his heart by addressing him in his own lingo ; ' plenty beautiful wahiues that I meet in the street ask me to come and see them.'

It ib amusing — where it is not also pathetic— to notice the way the Charitable Aid bodies of the Colony try to shunt all the ' hard cases ' from their own districts to any others cm whom they can by any pretence foist them. The other day a Kangitikei settler received from an old ex-em-ploy of his a cool proposal to quarter himself upon the said settler for the remainder of his days. It happens that since he settled in Taranaki the old servant has had the ill luck to lose. an arm. Hence, 'tis suggested, the desire of the New Plymouth charities to get rid of a permenant pensioner, and their suggestion that perhaps his old employer would provide for him. But, as the would-be guest is himself a bit of a character, the proposal was declined without thanks by the person most concerned.

The soul of the Honorable George McLean is vexed at the suggestion that the directors of the Colonial Bank were aware of the Ward Association transaction. From the way people are talking, he says, one would think the directors were thieves and robbers, instead of honourable men. They had not put their hands in the till ; they had not taken one shilling for themselves or for their relations ; neither had tbey sold a single share. All their actions had been clear and above-board, and they would come out of the matter with perfectly clean hands. We sincerely hope so.

Salvationists, some of them anyhow, have odd ways of requiting an injury. Their band at Mastertoa frightened a horse that a publican had peacefully grazing in a paddock. In its panic the beast dashed through the fence, and made chips of the contents of a chinaware shop. Of course you will aay the Army made good the damage. In its own way, yes. And this way was an ill-spelt letter to the publican expressing ' sympathy,' consoling him with the assurance that 'it might have been much worse, for horses are senseless, timid binngs,' and some impudent suggestions that the moke should have been either stabled or kept outside of town, or else put 'in a sound proof paddock, and a fence sprung to resist the horse's effort.'

Then followed an admonition that: ' When the trumpet of God's judgment will sound you will need both a tame, quiet horse, and a strong fence, and a clear conscience, a life that is blameless as washed from every sin,' etc-; also sermons on the ' damaging trade that shed a blight and curse on the weaker portion of humanity ' — but this is enough index of the character of the letter. The kind of amends offered reminds one of the case of the Thames detective who once asked a bushman into his office, promising an ' apology ' for a fancied wrong, and then, shutting the door, pummelled the poor wretch with a knuckleduster till his mother wouldn't have known him.

W. Martin, the American, will not leave Australia— at any rate* not till after next season. He will race for a Melbourne firm in future. During hia six months' stay in Australia he has won over £500.