FRETFUL PORCUPINE. A Quill for Everyone.

Observer, Volume XV, Issue 814, 4 August 1894, Page 7

FRETFUL PORCUPINE.

A Quill for Everyone.

It has hitherto been a reproach against New Zealand that although it has produced eminent men in certain other walks of life, it has absolutely failed to give to the world a standard author. And the reproach is probably well founded. Our literature has in very truth been of a fugitive kind ; there may have been a pearl here and a pearl there, but no publisher has yet accomplished the task of constructing from these few gems a necklace of such value and baauty as would arouse the admiration and envy of the world beyond our shores. But we live in an age of evolution and emulation. Other countries have produced great authors ; why not^New Zealand ?

Why not, indeed ? Let any man who has read Mr John Abbott's letter in the Auckland Iferald, entitled ' Old Identities: Flags at Half -Mast,' answer that question — let him tell us why not. Is there, we would mildly ask, one man amongst us with soul so dead who, culling the flowers of rhetoric prepared for our matutinal delectation, in the Herald, by our esteemed fellow-citizen and financier Mr John Abbott, has not said to himself, ' thia is our own, our standard author?' John is peerless. John challenges comparison. What author of the last century is there, for instance, whose language is more beautiful, and whose sentiments are more sublime than those of our own — our versatile John ? We hasten to say none — absolutely none.

America is proud of her Washington Irving, but what of him. We have carefully perused his writings, but we have seen nothing in them to eclipse the wealth of imagery and elegance of diction immortalised in the literary creations of our John's fertile imagination. It is true that Washington Irving attains an equally high standard of merit, but he does not surpass John A bbott. Do you doubt us ? Then you must judge for yourself. Both great men have written on the same subject. Let us cull a floweret from each literary bouquet and contrast them side by" side: — The sorrow for the Sorrow for the dead dead is the only sor- is the only grief from row from which we which we refuse to be refuse to be divorced, divorced. Every other Every other wound we sore we seek to heal, seek to heal ; every every other affliction other affliction to for- to forget; but this get ; but this wound wound we keep open, we consider it a duty and brood over in to keep open — this solitude. Is there a affliction we cherish mother who would forand brood over in soli- get the infant that tnde. Where is the perished like a blosmother who would som in her arms, willingly forget the though every recollecinfant that perished tion is a pang?— John like a blossom from Abbott, in the Herald. her arms, though every recollection is a pang. — Washington Irving.

Now, who is there amongst us who can conscientiously say that the paragraph above to which John Abbott's name is appended is not quite as sublime and soulful in conception and elegant and beautiful in construction as the paragraph credited to Washington Irring. The writings of both men attain a high literary standard, and, by the way, now that we come to think of it, there is a striking likeness between the thoughts of these two great minds and the language in which those thoughts are conveyed to the mind of the reader. The logical conclusion to be drawn from this fact is, of course, that the prose writings of the late lamented Washington Irving are exactly on an equality with those of John Abbott. # » * But, gentle reader, kindly permit us to elaborate our argument by a further contrast. There is sweet sentiment and profound philosophy in the next sentence of John Abbott's letter. We reproduce it, but, strangely enough, Washington living bobs up to the surface again with something equally good. Compare : — Ko, the love which I think the love that survives the tomb is survives the tomb is one of the noblest at- one of the noblest attributes of the souL— tributes of the soul. — Washington Irving. John Abbott, in the Herald. Who dares to say that John Abbott, our esteemed fellow-citizen and financier, does not hold his own against the defunct but admittedly-talented American in this our second comparison.

were a literary competition, how difficult we should find it to award the silver medal. Such identical sentiment ; such similarity of language. But doesn't John Abbott hold his own ? And here yet again : — Oh, the grave! -the The grave buries grave! It buries every every error, covers error — covers every every defect, extindefect — extinguishes guishes every resentevery resentment. — ment.— John Abbott, in Washington Irving. the Herald. »

But enough. Who will dare to twit us now with our fugitive literature? Who will have the assurance to say we have not produced a standard author ? Have we not in our esteemed fellow-citizen and financier, Mr John Abbott, the equal of America's vaunted Washington Irving? Of course, we have. Possibly there are ignorant clods — common groundlings — incapable of appreciating the finer distinctions of philosophy and rhetoric who may sneer at the resemblance between the thoughts and words of these two great men and suggest plagiarism — declare that one has prigged from the writings of the other. But perish ihe thought I It is impossible. Why, Washington Irving has been dead these thirty-five years. ' "

prominent Wesleyan, f airly wriggled in his seat as the parson thundered : 'Yes, I say it is a disgrace to the city of Auckland that such sensational rubbish should be circulated in what is supposed to be a respectable journal. If I was a millionaire I would start a paper of niy own and provide pabulum of a moral and intellectual nature for my readers. There, Sir!' he vehemently continued, ' I give you that wrinkle f/ratis, and you can send it on to Editor Berry. 1 What will the Herald people say to this ? By the way it is no secret that Mr Serpell entertains an exceedingly high opinion of the Observer, which he is pleased to consider the only really fearless and respectable journal published in the North Island and — but there ! our natural modesty forbids our saying more.

The Auckland University professors actually recommend the Council that there is no necessity for keeping up the present salary of the College Begistrar.; they think it could very well be reduced. Of course they do ! They wouldn't be such fools as to recommend an increase of the Registrar's screw when, it might mean docking their own. But what have the professors to do with the Registrar's salary, anyliow ?

Why do young women marry old men ? One Annie-Wood threw some light on' this problem in the Police Court the other day. ' What do you think I married him for, but to keep me ?' she asked the opposing counsel. The .husband on the other- hand, left it to be inferred that he had married Annie in order that she might assist him with his hawking operations. But Annie wasn't 'on,' and her William showing a disposition to make things lively for her, she brought him before the magistrate after eight months of wedded life and had him bound over. Of course this wedding was made in heaven.

It seems that the long-talked of libel action brought by Edward Kerry against the proprietors of the Auckland Star mR not eventuate after all. Kerry has discontinued the action. He has thought discretion the better part of valour. This is a pity, because the proprietors of the Star had gone to an expense of nearly £1000 in obtaining evidence to prove that their strictures were justified and that Kerry was not libelled at all. It was when this damning evidence, taken in several of the neighbouring colonies, came to hand that Kerry resolved to abandon the suit. But, after all, is it not an anomalous state of the law that puts the proprietors of a newspaper to great expense to defend an action brought against them because of an article published for the public good and then enables the plaintiff to discontinue his suit before one word of the evidence that the defendants have got together at considerable cost can be heard ? The plaintiff in every libel action should at least be compelled to deposit a guarantee for the costs of the other side in the event of his failure to proceed.

The Auckland Liberal Association has fettered itself to the trades unionists of Auckland. It has adopted the principle of an executive on which there shall be six delegates from the Knights of Labour, six from the Trades and Labour Council, six from the Political Reform Association and six from the Liberal Association. Thus, Liberalism has a voting power of six against eighteen votes exercised by the labour bodies. In other words, the Liberal Association is completely swamped by Labour. This is unfortunate. The two interests might often work in harmony, but occasionally they must come in conflict, and it is an impolitic and improper thing to make Liberalism subservient to Trades conservatism and Labour despotism. Either, the Association must be freed from these bonds, or the Liberals of Auckland must reorganize on a new basis.

How reckless tradesmen are in giving credit to strangers. The other day, two young men who had been brought over from Australia as witnesses in a pending civil action, were sued by an Auckland tailor for tweed suits supplied to the value of £16. "Will it be believed that the total possessions of the couple in cash when they stood in the Court was two shillings. It is a fact that strangers of impudent address can invariably get credit in Auckland from tradespeople who would require cash from local customers who are fair marks.

They are a suspicious and cynical lot of nien who dabble in goldmining scrip in Auckland. So it happened the other day, when the manager of the Portsea mine wired that he had cut a five feet reef, equal to the enormous yield of .twenty ounces to the ton, that there were more sellers of scrip than buyers, and stock that ought on these prospects to have been worth £10 or £15 immediately fell from 2/8 to 2/4. These scrip punters had never met a manager who was so communicative when he had a good thing on hand, and like other sinners they doubted. And two days later they were laughing quietly in their sleeves when they read the assayer's opinion that the twenty ounces was not gold but chrome. They had been there before.

"What is a doctor's opinion anyhow ? The other day a case of small-pox was reported in Taranaki. The doctors raised a great scare, but ' sang low ' when it was subsequently found that it was simply a case of cow-pox ! But people were not yet satisfied and a further diagnosis proved the fact that the cow-pox was not cow-pox nor small-pox but merely chicken-pox ! ! Now it has turned but that it was not even chicken-pox, but actually only a common prosaic case of measles I ! t What genii those doctors are !

They either cultivate very wide verandah posts in Hamilton or they have restricted themselves to the use of very narrow pavements, if we can believe the following from the Waikato letter in the Herald: — 'Mr Davis' motion in the Borough Council, "That all verandah posts not the full width of the pavement, in Victoria and Greystreets, and awnings dripping on to the pavements, be removed," fell through, for the want of- a seconder.'^ The verandah posts not the full width pf the pavements are. therefore sayed. -„ \ . „

If we weary our readers by another comparison,*our excuse must be our great pride and delight in the knowledge that our country boasts the possession of an author of such high attainments as our own John Abbott. Once more we pit him against the author of . whom those boastful Americans are so proud, full of the blissful consciousness that our versatile John will hold his own. Listen : —

'Though it may It may sometimes sometimes throw a throw a passing cloud passing cloud over the over the bright hour bright hour of gayety, of gaiety, or spread a or spread a deeper deeper sadness over sadness over the hour th c moments of of gloom; yet, who gloom. Yet who would exchange it, would exchange it even for a song of even for the song of pleasure, or the burst pleasure or the burst of revelry ? No, there of revelry ? No, there is a voice from the is a voice from the tomb sweeter than tomb sweeter than song. There is a re- song. There is remembrance of the membrance of the dead, to which we dead, to which we turn even from the even turn from the living. — Washington charms of the living. Irving. —John Abbott, in the Herald. • ■ • Exquisite ! — both so exquisite. If this

The new fruit expert has given it as his opinion that oranges can never be successfully grown north of Auckland. This is quite contrary to the fact. Already there are more than a hundred settlers growing oranges profitably in the provincial district, and some of these are as far south as the city itself.

Why should doctors be appointed coroners ? That is a thing we could never understand, and the problem is not made any easier to us by reading iv the report of the McCullough inquest that Dr PhiJson asked Beard : 'Do you believe you are guilty of this boy's death?' It would be difficult to conceive a more improper or irregular question for a coroner to put to a witness under such circumstances. No wonder the lawyers present protested.

Parson Serpell, of the Thames, delivered a sermon the other night, that fairly made the congregation sit up. In scathing terms he denounced what he called ' blood and thunder literature," characterising the Saturday's supplement to the Auckland Herald as ' a disgrace to journalism.' The local agent for our ponderous contempox*ary of Wyndham-street, who by the way is a