Chatty Gossip from the EMPIRE CITY

Observer, Volume XI, Issue 753, 3 June 1893, Page 9

Chatty Gossip from the EMPIRE CITY

During the administration of an estate which was recently placed in the hands of the Public Trustee a curious bill of expenses came under the purview of the officer charged with winding up the affairs of the deceased. The defunct individual had been an Irishman and according to a custom more germane to ' the ould sod ' the friends had held a ' wake ' and charged the cost thereof to the estate. But that after all is a mere detail. The curious part of the affair is as to the items of account. It must have been a wildly hilarious gathering even for a wake —perhaps rivalled even Tim Pinnigan's wake if the truth were known. At any rate the mourners managed to put away fourteen bottleß of whiskey, fourteen bottles of rum and halfapound of biscuits. Staggered at this startling disproportion between bread and sack and not being accustomed to include ' wakes ' among mortuary items the clerk referred the matter to his superior officer. Being an Irishman himself, however, the Public Trustee did not feel inclined to make war against the customs of his country and the account was therefore duly passed.

He was a merchant in a large way of business, and as he was well dowered with daughters arrived at a marriagable age, little parties at which dancing was a favourite pastime were of frequent occurrence at his house. He was of philosophic temperament and rather obese habit of body— qualities which rendered him indisposed to trip the light fantastic and yet tolerant of those who were addicted to that amiable weakness. Therefore, in the upper part of his mansion he had fitted up for himself a little snuggery to which he was wont to retire along with a bottle of Glenlivet, a box of cigars, and a pile of illustrated papers, whenever company was expected. On one of these festive occasions, a gay young fellow just arrived in the ' city was amongst the invited guests. After dancing for Beveral hours he felt the need of a smoke, and, armed with his cigar-case, he ascended the stairs with the intention of enjoying his weed on the balcony.

As he passed along, the light projected under the doorway of a closed room caught his eye just at the same instant as the aroma of a fragrant cigar saluted his nostrils. He turned the handle and walked in. A hale and hearty gentleman sat comfortably back in a cushioned chair pufting vigourously away at a cigar as he turned the pages of a comic print, while a smoking glass of toddy stood on the table before him. Chawles was greatly Burprißed. 1 Well, by Jove, you old bucks do know your way about, that's a fact,' said he. 'Don't blame you for cutting the dance when you can do it in style like this. One gets tired, you know, of these Bmall and earlies when you have to do so many confounded duty dances with the old girl and her daughters. Of course one sees through the little game, but I'm not easily caught, you know. Now this sort of thing just suits me right down to the ground, bay, how did you pick it ? If the other fellows only knew 1 Well, old man, at any rate I'll join you in a weed and a glass.' Suiting the action to the word Chawles poured out for himself a stiff jorum, cocked his leg over a chair, grabbed a bundle of papers, and as he leisurely turned them over rattled on in the free and easy style indicated above, stopping every now and then to express admiration at the old buck's cuteness in discovering and appropriating the snuggery. Meanwhile the father of the family accepted the situation and complacently received all his companion's confidences and compliments.

At laßt Chawles found that he had an engagement on his dance programme which must be kept and he retired promising, to return as soon as- he could again dodge ' the old girl.' Directly the dance was over and he had conducted' his partner to her seat he made a bee-line for the door, and meeting- a. chum in the hall he.

invited him to prospect ' a snug little gully 'he had discovered upstairs. « Such a jolly old cock in it too. Got it all to himself, bai jove; good liquor, capital weeds and the latest comic papers. Come along.' But the invited masher was rather doubtful. He had been at the house many times before and knew the run of things. He ascertained the whereabouts of the room and having heard a vivid description of ' the jolly old cock ' he confounded Chawles with the intelligence that he had been giving himself away to the host - the husband of the despised ' old girl ' and the father of the marriageable daughters. Chawles did not revisit the snuggery. He went home rather early and he has ever since fought very shy of that particular mansion. But ' the old buck ' has not yet ceased to laugh heartily as he retails the incident.

Wanted— a young man of fair complexion who answers to the name of, Herbert. Lest you should be inundated with applications it may be as well to explain that he was wanted as co-respondent in the divorce suit of Goddard v. Goddard which was heard here on Saturday last. It is a rather peculiar case, and the salient points as detailed by the petitioning husband in Court and as told in the papers will bear relation. In May '92, an infant neatly done up in a parcel was found one morning lying upon the deck of the Mahinapua, and a girl named Agnes Veronica McLean was shortly afterwards arrested for placing it there. She pleaded that Charles Goddard, cook en board the steamer, was the father of her child and that she was unable to support it. The consequence was that she was released and Goddard was proceeded against for maintenance. An order was obtained against him but he failed to meet it and in default was committed to gaol. The girl then relented and procured his liberation, and in July they were married by the Registrar.

Goddard was only able to be at home on Saturdays and Sundays, and a fortnight or three weeks after his marriage he had reason to suspect that his wife found consolation during his absence. He Baw her in earnest conversation with a strange man and" on searching her box he found amongst other suggestive articles, a letter in his wife's handwriting, addressed to another man, and the contents of which went to show that she had been unfaithful. It referred inter alia to her attendance at spiritualistic seances, and to communications received thereat from her unknown paramour's dead wife and sister.' If they maintained their opposition she felt she would have to terminate her intimacy with him. Goddard taxed his wife with infidelity, and she admitted the accusation, saying that as they had only gone to the Begistrar she did not feel that she was properly married.. Proceedings for divorce were then begun.

The evidence of three female witnesses — two nurses and a boardinghouse-keeper •—threw some further light upon the goings-on of the newly-married wife. She had been keeping company with and receiving frequent visits from this gentleman of fair complexion named ' Herbert ' whom she tried to palm off upon one of the witnesses as her husband. ' Herbert,' too, was singularly affectionate for a husbaod — he called the fair Agnes ' pet ' and was extremely solicitous about her. Of course husband 3 preserve a stony extenor and never indulge in ' pet ' names.

The sum of the whole matter, at anyrate, is that the Judge was satisfied the fair Agnes had not been faithful to her marriage obligations and a decree nisi was granted. The wonder is that a man who commits himself with a girl before marriage can expect her to be severely virtuous afterwards.

Fillis's Circus and Menagerie finished here on Queen's Birthday, and have gone up-country en route to Auckland. They make frequent changes of programme, introducing fresh novelties and faces each time, so that one does not see more than half the attractions upon a first visit. One of the most interesting acts is that in which the Bengal tiger is let loose in the ring — which is, of course, enclosed by an iron barraoade— and docilely jumps over hurdles at the bidding of his trainer, has a wrestling match with him, and allows him with impunity to place his head within its capacious jaws.

The Thursday 'Pops' at a shilling are booming here. Last Thursday tb* Opera House was 'crowded to exeeßS, and numbers

had to be turned away from the dresßcircle in which all the seats had heen reserved beforehand at 1/6 each. This success has engendered the inevitable opposition, and we are now promised a series of Sixpenny 'Pops ' at the Skating Eink on Wednesday evenings, commencing from Wednesday next.

One of the causes of amusement to visitors to the Circus was seeing misdirected people ' fired out ' of the Governor's seats. There seemed to be some fatality about it, for nearly every night somebody or other took possession of the comfortable velvet-covered chairs, and had to be aßked to seek room elsewhere.

An old Auckland and Thames man, though he hails just now from Fiji, is to be seen at the counter of the Bank of New Zealand. Mr Coath, who iB stationed in Wellington for the present, is installed in the responsible berth of chief teller.

One of the incidents of the Birthday levee that ha9'caused a good deal of talk and speculation was the spectacle of a well-known young Bachelor of Arts parading Willis-street and the Quay in all the glory of his academic get-up— gown, mor-tar-board and all — on his way to Government House. Was it that he wanted to display the emblems of his learned status ? or had he been the victim of an unpunotual cabman and been obliged to ' foot it ' after all ? These are some of the queries that his friends would like answered, for they are loth to believe their Joseph was purposely showing-off his college finery.

What an odd sight that was on Wednesday night at the door of the Government House supper-room ! The management was an admirable one so far as the working of the system was concerned — two of the Governor's staff being placed at the entrance to prevent more people going in than could comfortably be accommodated—but what about the looks of the queue of impatient people waiting for their turn to ' tuck in ' like so many hungry schoolboys? A good many seemed to be the reverse of comfortable.

Bright's disease is one of the most deadly complaints that attack, debilitated constitutions. Owing to over exertion and over consumption of nerve force, the system becomes gradually weakened and relaxation sets in. The thin membranes of the kidneys ar6 the first to go, and medical authorities stafe that 50 per cent, of the deaths nowadays occur indirectly from Bright's disease, though the patients and their medical advisers never even suspected the presence of such a deadly foe. The function of the kidney is to separate the waste fluids from the blood, to purify it, and this process is carried on by what" is termed by physiologists ' osmosis.' .In weakened systems the membranes become relaxed, and the albumen of the blood finds its way with the waste fluids through the kidney walls, and passes from the body with the urine, the patient's health and strength thus gradually failing. Beyond the presence of albumen in the water, albuminuria has not any positive symptoms; but general weakness, which always leads to these serious disorders, always signifies its presence by special signs. You may get headache, spasmodic toothache, torturing neuralgia, pain in small of the back, disinclination to work, heavy, aching limbs on waking in the morning, bloodshot eyes, poor appetite, or constipation. These warning symptoms must not be neglected, or as sure as a rat hole will sink a ship, so sure will the patient's life be sacrificed. The remedy indicated is Clements Tonic ; this will restore all organs to a proper healthy Btate, and ensure correct performance of the processes of digestion, assimilation, perspiration, secretion, and elimination. Clements Tonic has a record of cures effected such as no other medicine ever secured, and we are willing to prove our representations by outside evidence. A case in point iB that of Thomas Chambers, Esq., Invercargill, who writes : — I have very great pleasure in testifying to the wonderful effect, of your valuable Tonic, which I have proved for myself. I was the subject of general debility ; could not get any sound sleep, a feeling of prostration and languor, poor appetite and indigestion ; the blood was very poor, which brought on great weakness, with all its evil effects. Seeing one of your advertisements in the paper, I got some of Clements Tonic, and it has wrought a wonderful change in my whole system, restoring me to good health. — Thomas Chambers, Dee-Btreet, Inveroargill, New Zealand.