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Observer, Volume XI, Issue 696, 30 April 1892, Page 7

The Star* tells its readers of a Zi/e---like picture of Kawau. Star-tling, isn't it ? Deeming is now spoken of as the most accomplished lady-killer in Australia. He has certainly killed his share. They nave been advertising Maritana as ever-green this week. Quite a mistake. It was the audience that was ever green. They are to have wards for harmless lunatics in the benevolent institutions of Victoria. Wondev if we wouldn't get one established at the Auckland Board of Education. The Rev. Joseph Blight. has settled down at Kaipara. Seeing that it is a fruit disfcr ict he has gone to, we hope there ia really nothing in a name after all. The Star says salt of excellent quality has been made from the water of the Waitemata. There is nothing astonishing in that. Let them make sugar from it, and we are prepared to admire. Who is responsible for the destruction of Cheltenham Beach by the continued carting away of sand and shells, whereby great excavations are made on this delightful promenade ? Three gentlemen are offering to put down £30 each to start a co-operative butchery at the Thames. Probably they are the prospective Manager, the prospective Treasurer and the prospective Secretaryall on prospective salaries. Colonel Bailey sends us along eleven printed reasons why we should help to build head-quarters for the Salvation Army at Christchurch. We are prepared to give the Colonel twenty sound verbal reasons why we should not. An export bonus of twopence per pound on butter is to be offered by South Australia. There is some of our butter which it would pay the Government to get rid of if it had to pay two shillings a pound to effect a clearance. Captain J. M. Geddes, of the ' A ' Battery, sings a good Scotch song, d'ye ken, and his ' Jenny Pay the Wcaner ' fetched down the railway carnage on the return of the Auckland volunteers from the Pukekohe military sports on Monday evening. A very pleasant ' sing-song ' beguiled away the tedious return trip by train. The Thames fishermen are complaining of the low price given for flatfish by the Auckland dealers. Middlemen again. Most people have to give sixoence each for their flounders, when they can get them, and that is pretty well enough to induce the flounders to enter into the business themselves and supply themselves to the customers to save the fishermen's profits. Doctor Carolan, of Bombay, was resplendent in a very fine uniform at the Pukekohe military Sports last Monday, as honorary surgeon to the South Franklin Mounted Infantry He was on horseback, and was truly so sumptuously apparelled that he was popularly mistaken for- Capt. Fox, the new Commandant of the New Zealand forces. The curse of political meetings is the long-winded speeches by embryo M.H.E.'s. They never miss a chance after a member has addressed an audience to monopolise the platform for the rest of the evening and inflict torture on a long-suffer-ing audience. Why do not some of these ambitious orators hold meetings of their own, and then they would be able to guage the public's appreciation of them by the attendance. How things are worked in the matter of appointments by Government to particular districts is often one of the most ingenious if not tortuous questions to follow out. Lately the Minister under whom the Factories Act. had been admin* istered wanted a friend to be Inspector at Auckland. The Auckland members ob\ jected to a Southern man, and wanted a .local one. To got out of this difficulty a local man was temporarily appointed here and soon after removed, and the same Southern gentleman sent here to take his place, and thus presto the thing is accomplished. Q. E. F.

' Wellington 'is very .wet just now.' And this is what' the morning granny calls news. Keep it stereotyped, old lady. Mr Eobert Farrell hjeaded the poll at the City School Committee election, and he. deserves it, too. There are few more sterling men in this community than the same Mr Farrell. The young, man who said that half the riders at the. Polo Club Sports could, not ride, managed himself [to get thrown twice in the Steeplechase, once being on the. fiat, much to the amusement of all present. Amongst the marriages that have taken place lately in Wellington was one in which a widower with five children espoused a widow with an equal number of olive branches. That promises to be a powerful family in the land yet. At the meeting held' by Mr Buick, M.H.R., on Friday evening, Mr W. J. Napier in the course of his speech, characterised the National Association as ' a coterie of pinchbeck Tories.' We don't exactly know what that is, but we ace the National Association still survives. When the Clansman * was coming from Tauranga last trip, one of the sailors got a shock. A flying fish came aboard, without bothering to kr.ock, and struck him all or a heap, making him thin« his last hour had come. The fish was 22 inches long and 24£ inches across from point to point of wings. A number of good folk who visited the French warship Dubourdieu last Sunday were somewhat shocked to find that Johnny Crapaud was amusing himself with a theatrical performance on deck. The subject was a classic one, and it appeared to deeply grieve the anti-theatre people, who nevertheless did not object, apparently, to Sunday steamboat travelling. A Napier maiden who died the other day directed that her remains should be ferried out; into the ocean, and that she should be buried under the bosom of the deep And they did it too. And now every old skipper who enters Napier will shudder with hr-rror as he passes that spot, and imagine all kinds of ill luck hovering around and about him till he is miles away from the shuddering ground. Last Sunday night, at St. Benedict's, Mrs Trigger, of the Opera Company, Bang Guonod's ' Aye Maria,' with flute obligato by Father JUgan. Next Sunday, some members of the company will assist again, and on the following Sunday the company's orchestra will play Mozart's ' Twelfth Mass,' while the members of the company will take the solos and assist in the choruses. A terrible fatalit}' appears to have hung over the business recently carried on by Mr J. M. Alexander. One of the original partners, Mr Eitchie, was thrown from his horse in Kyber Pass aud killed. Then Mr Heveridge, another partner, was caught ■ y a train, and dragged some distance, and also lost his life. Now, Mr Alexander, the surviving principal, has met his deabh in a very startling manner. There are no more popular people around Auckland than the Messrs. Reid Bros., of Motutapu, whose pretty island home is always open to visitors, and holi-day-makers from the city have much reason to be grateful to the ' genial twa ' for thecordial reception which is invariably extended them at Motutapu. As usual, Easter brought the u.Mial hordes of picnickers and yachtsmen from town, and the kindness of the owners of the island made itself as manifest asjheretofore. John Reid keeps open house, and his * wee laughies ' and wee ' drappies ' have comforted the soul of many a lover of good old mountain dew. It is said that Auckland is not a marrying community, but that is not the fault of the older members of the community. On Good Friday, a lively old barnacle, a widower, who claims 75 years as his age, and who cannot by any means be considered green, led to the hymeneal altar a blushing widow of 55, who already mourns two dear departed husbands. Conviviality was the, order of the day on the occasion, and though the light fantastic was out of the question the flowing bowl was brought into use to warm up the cherry blossom on the frontispiece of the ancient bridegroom. 'The pretty Mrs X.' as she loved to hear herself described, is leaving Wel< lington with her husband, for fresh, woods and pastures new. She had the amiable weakness of her sex for the appreciation of the sterner half, of humanity, but not the art to conceal this weakness. The story goes that she was wont to say in her lisping way, to her married sisters : ' Doth Mr Z. admire me ?' ' Indeed,' would be the natural and off-hand rejoinder, ' he has not taken the trouble to express any opinion about you, whatever.' Then would Mrs X , with a shrug and a disdainful pout, retort : ' Oh, the beetht ; he might have thaid thomething.'