The Hotel Mashers.

Observer, Volume X, Issue 629, 17 January 1891, Page 4

The Hotel Mashers.

(By Nemo.)

To the initiated, no better fun can be experienced than devoting a half hour in some private bar to the study of the giddy moths who flutter around the prettily decorated room and pour sweet nothings into the little pink ear of some charming beer slinger. All sorts and conditions of city life have their prototypes, and the presiding Hebe, if she possess but a tithe of the sisterhood's ingenuity, can generally succeed in persuading about half a dozen that each is the only one Bhe cares for. To effect this result, all manner of devices are resorted to. A little extra attention, with a few welldirected winning smiles are generally sufficient to do the trick, but in case of a doubt, the fair enslaver effects her purpose by pinning a rosebud in the coat lapel, and the poor fool goes home to his lodgings treading on air. His departure has scarcely been noticed when another newcomer makes his appearance, and a similar scene is gone through, perhaps with a slight variation, but if so the change can be attributed to a different temperament in the latest masher. We will now retire to a quiet corner and just watch a few of the representatives of masherdom, and see for ourselves how they fare. The first is a warehouse employee who is a regular habitice, and one who deludes himself with the belief that he is the ' white haired ' boy. He lounges up to the bar with an air of possession that is most amusing, and tapping the girl under the chin, or pinching her cheek, calls for an English ale. While this is being prepared he draws from his pocket a handful of coins, and with a great deal of flourish fishes out a sixpenny piece. He then says all the soft things he is capable of, spends about twenty minutes sipping bis ale, and only tears himself away with a great wrench to his heart strings. The next is the young bank clerk, who is afraid of being seen in the bar by himself and who brings with him a friend. He also indulges in sentimental remarks, and goes away perfectly happy, if he can only secure a flower from the bunch the barmaid is wearing in her breast ; should she pin it in, however, he rushef off in a perfect eestacy of delight, and has his night's rest disturbed with dreams of his fair charmer. Then there ia the young cub who hangs around the bar all night and bores people with his nonsensical chatter, whilst all the time he is trying to paralyse yotl with a faint idea of the family importance. There's the chap who comes in all alone and retires to a corner, where he drinks vigorously for a lengthened period, and feels amply repaid if he can only catch a fleeting smile every five minutes. Then there is the fatherly old cove, who is ever ready to warn the young girl of the pitftuls she is likely to stumble into, and concludes his vapid peroration with a caution to beware of the youn» fallows, who' have all best girls of their own. His advice, however, is never taken. Very sad, all the same. Next, we have the fellow who is a friend of the family, and in consequence feels privileged to act pretty well as he likes. He and the girl appear to be fast friends, but it is only till someone she likes better comes in and then he muet excuse her. Auother chap who is always very much in evidence is the fellow who has something to do with the theatrical profession, and wears stage 'props' for every-day clothes. This is a most important personage; and fires off stagey platitudes that are warranted to kill at 1000 yards. He can always say nice things and accommodate himself to any company, and, by the way, always forgets to pay for his drinks or shout in return. He never would be missed. Then again is seen the heavy young swell of Hebrew extraction, who can only make himself comfortable in a position behind the counter, from whioh he storms the fort. One who didn't know might easily fall into the error of supposing that he run the show. When a fellow gets behind the bar, it is generally a hopeleES case. Last, but not least, is the young fellow who is just budding into manhood, who resents the Slightest insinuation about his juvenility. This young cub is not particular whose money he spends, so long as he appears big in the eyes of his lady-love. His chief trouble in this world seems to be his cunning moustache, which he is for ever worrying, and ia sufficiently pointed to hang your hat on the end of it. His awakening is generally a rude one. The above are only a few specimens of a number that presented themselves to the writer, and before going out he was greatly amusud at a little incident that took place. Two boors of fellows lounged in, and, in their own tin-pot way, tried to effect a conquest. They were meeting with poor success, when two young bloods strolled in and at once carried matters their own way. This bo angered the two hayseed men, that they said it was easily seen they were not wanted v and left the room, thinking the girl had been playing it as low down as it was possible to be.

A gigantic alligator is a prinoipal feature at the Sydney Aquarium. His alligatorship pined a great deal latety and went off his tucker, but the trustees brought a plump, juicy boy and dangled him above the alligator's upper lip until the mouth of the weary captive began to relax and his taste for food returned to him.

Prize Federation Essays.— The first 50 prize essays by Australasian writers on the Federation of the Whole World are now published and on sale at Cole's Book Arcade, Melbourne, and all booksellers, price 2s. Among the writers are 10 clergymen, 9 journalists, 5 schoolmasters, legislators, 2 doctors, 2 lawyers, and 2 ladies. Another volume of the essays will be published shortly.