ALL SPICE.

Observer, Volume X, Issue 629, 17 January 1891, Page 4

ALL SPICE.

Dry Toast— Success to temperance. A leading article —A blind man's dog. Why is a fish-hook like the letter F ? It will make an eel feel. It is said that all the great forces in nature are silent forces ; but you couldn't make a hen-pecked husband believe it. What is the difference between Slaney the watchmaker and Gaoler Reston ? One sells watoheß and the other watches sells. 1 Style,' says a writer on literary topics, 4 means everything.' c Yes,' saidGilson, whose wife was a devotee of fashion, • it means everything a man's got.' What is the difference between Charon's boat and the oldest hen in existence ? The one is a foul old wherry and the other a werry old fowl. 1 I've won again,' she sweetly cried, ' What luck I have at play ! ' * Not luck, my darling-,' he replied ; ' It is your winiirg way.' They are now engaged to be married. 'Well, Captain, how did you enjoy your African journey ? How did you like the savages ? ' • Oh, they are very kind-hearted people ; they wanted to keep me there for dinner.' First Vocalist : ' I believe my masher has become a vepeterian.' Second Vocalist : ' What makes you think so ?' •He used to give me jewellery, but of late I don't get anything but flowers.' Longhaired Temperance Lecturer (severely): 'Do you know, sir, that this world will be a miserable place until all intoxicating beverages are done away with ?' Florid Gentlemen (cordially) : ' I knew it, sir ; and I'm doing my share in the good work. Ido away with a large portion every day.'

What strange contradictions We find as we roam ; The leader of home-rule Disgracing a home ; With the wife of a comrade He shamelessly fell ; He has sunk below Par — Woman sounded his nell. Ie lovely woman will only rise to a full sense of her power in Samoa the male population of tbat delightful island may soon become extinct, as witness the following item of news which arrived a few days since : —'An affray took place at Annu, and arose over a women. One man shot himself through disappointment, another was beaten to death, and the third, the son of the second, shot himself because his father had been killed.' What a holocaust to offer to a flat-footed black Venus, with no pedigree to speak of, or property in her own right. This record will for ever stand — ' Woman, thy vows are traced in sand.' So Byron sang, and Samoa endorses his verdict with the blood of- three strong and hearty copra gatherers.

Said Labouchere recently : ' The expression of a fashionably-dressed woman now is emphatically one of nakedness. Her sleeveless bodice cut half way to the waist, betrays much and suggests more. Her large white arms, iier uncovered shoulders crossed with an airy line, her bust displayed to the last inch permitted by the law, which protects morality and forbids obscenity, her back bared in a wedge-shaped track to her band, the colour of her gown scarce distinguishable from her skin, and the ' fit ' one which moulds the figure and makes no pretence at disguise - in this indecent nudity she offers herself to public admiration ; and the bold looks of the men are the caresßes which made her purr with pride and pleasure. Her dress is her note of invitation.'