Moses Does Dine mit der Guffenor.

Observer, Volume X, Issue 620, 15 November 1890, Page 4

Moses Does Dine mit der Guffenor.

Efferybodiea do take der hata hoff vhen dey she me now. Yah 1 Dot ish because I did hafe dinner mit der Goffenor, und his Oxcellency und oldt Moses vhas frendtg. Dot dinner vhas niebe. Dere vhas roast duck, und green peas, und eferything. Apple jelly, straw-perry-cream, und eferything else. Der vines vhas — yam ! der fery tought does make mine mout dry — yah ! dere vhas vine, dwenty vines ; und tuff you vhiil onlys beleive — Moses vhas dere. Dere vhas von funny ting aboot dat dinner— som man stood at mine chair all der times. I shay to him : • Mine goot frendt, it vhas fery rood hoff you to stand like dot, vatching vot I does eat und drink. Dere ish plenty hoff room next to der Goffenor ; Shust sit down mine goot mans, und help yourshelf ! Der coonopany laugh, und his Oxcellency shay — ' Mine dear Moses, dot ish net a sbentleman, but a person placed to wait upon you, und see you hafe eferything yon vant J' I shust blush, und shay ' Yum ! ' Der Goffenor den ask me aboot der politics, und he ask me dish connumdrorn - ' Vhy does sho many members boff Barlejment rink dere vhas no oder country but New Zealand ?' l I does K'ff it oop, your Oxcellency.' 'Vhell,' he did shay, because dey make it a loan land 1' ' I giff you von now,' I shuy. ' Dish ish it — What isu der difference between Noah's people dot vhent inter dot ark und dose candidates vot does try to get inter Batleynienl ?' His Oxcellency shay — ' O dot vhas because dey like to be in a goo > place.' ' Dot answer,' i shay, ' kh iery goot; but 'tis because Barleyment ish to dtm, ash Noah's ark vhas, a place of refuge 1' Der Guffenor did laugh. Und den I look ior mins plate, but it vhas gone. I shust vte dot person mit it, going avay, und I gets oop and I collars him, und brings him back. 'You shust leave dot leg of roast duck vhere you found it ancder times,' I shay, und all der company laugh und hold der sides. Den der uxxta eaine in, und I hafe no teeth, sho der Goffenor shay — ' Dot nut vhas fery hardt, Mr Moses.' ' Yah,' I shay, 'it ish hardt : it moost be a birch nut ; for I remember now dot dose Tabernuckle peoples hafe been trying to crack dot nut a long times now, und gifts it oop ; und I giffs it oop, too.' Den, aeh it vbaa getting late, I rose oop und shay — • Shentlemans, I moost be going home now, or mine oldt vomans vhill be after me mit der broom.' Und dey all shay. •0 ! Mr Bdoses, surely you are not frightened at your wife,' und I shay — ' Not muchly ; only vhen she yhas like der railway engine, she vhas den on der rail !' Sho dot ends mine dinner mit der Goffenor. He vhas fery nishe, sho vhas der dinner. Yum I

i..,. g IB -< Wm. - Foy iß'ttOt a- dipsomaniac bi l'th'e urdinaf jr kkiii'd, but'he belongs to' the" class who 'belieVSTil taking a morning ' dip ' in cold water all the year round. :^; t

In an,. ; AdeJaide daily the proprietress of a Iying4ri hospital offer d good accommodation and skilful nursing at reasonable charges to ' married ladies and respectable single women.'

• On what sort of paper should a fellah who's. awfully gone on a gal, don'tcher-know, write to his mash, eh ?' 4 Why — on papier in ache, of course. 1 • Thanks, awfully. 1 [Goes off to get some.]

After all, some of our proverbs are pretty correct. For instance — ' Make hay when the sun shines.' It would be very awkward going out after dark trying to hold a candle and swing a scythe at the same time.

Lines dedicated to that gay Auoklander who tried to persuade a young lady to go to England with him, to see his dear aunt :-— ' Sweet maid,' said he, ' I ask of thee To fly, to fly, to fly with me.' ' Young feller,' said she, ' Now ddn't you be Too fly, too fly, too fly with me.'

The laßt hope of the globe earth people has goneAn infidel has discovered that the passage in Job — ' He hangeth the earth upon nothing,' ought to be rendered— ' He layeth the earth upon the waters, nothing sustaining it.' That's just what the flat earth faddists say iB the case.