Samoan Civilisation.

Observer, Volume 9, Issue 543, 25 May 1889, Page 17

Samoan Civilisation.

BLESSINGS BESTOWED ON THE HEATHEN. The world goes in for fashion— Ridiculously so ; It is iLs ruling passion — It's "jolly, doncherknow.' In nearly every land You'll find a different style ; But for an airy band, Just try a South Sea Isle. Where floats the British flag, There follows British custom ; Noio natives drive a drag, And call it English, bust 'em ! They drive it, too, at random, Without a warning horn ; They sometimes sport a tandem, As to the manner born. They've also learnt to swear (That British seaman's right), And often even dare, Like clubmen, to get tight. This over-civilisation Is wonderful to see ; It's past all realisation How matters soon will be. E'en now a native dress Is very near complete, For things I can't express Envelope legs and feet. Upon fine summer days, Girls once wore only bangles ; But now they think of stays, And linen passed through mangles. Two cowry shells amidship, And feathers in their hair, Would make the men claim kinship To men of martial air. But now they will not fight Without an Armstrong gun ; It seems to them quite right To follow fife and drum. And they know pounds from pennies, They study pitch and toss ; They're very fond of tennis, And read " Mill on the Floss." They love all plays of Shakespeare's, Good exercise they shun, And now they only make spears To " swop " 'em for a gun. They do not care a jot For owning a canoe ; They'll have a good big yacht, And uniform their crew. They have the best " firewater," And drink it with rare swagger In ways they didn't ought ter, Till homeward they can't stagger ; And then the weeds they smoke Are always best Havannah ; They smile, and puff and joke In quite Parisian manner. They take their morning tub, Say twice in every week ; Then stroll round to their club, A toothpick in their cheek. The place they call a club Is just an outside bar Belonging to a pub., By name " The British Tar." The natives of position There met, and now have made A monster proposition To please the tailor trade. They find they can't get on Without a full dress suit, So they agreed to don New style from hat to boot. The climate being hot, And cloth being very dear, They couldn't buy a lot ; But what they did you'll hear. They bought up left- off suits, But only wore the vest, Then stuck on light tan boots — They heard they were the best. The mission men, in haste, Said, " So far very well ; But you must drape your waist, Or else you'll go to h !" A plaintain leaf or shell Was all they could afford ; But that did just as well, If fastened with a cord. A Savage Island hat, To go to music hall ; A red and white cravat, And shark- skin overall. Though this rig caused much mirth, The ladies take the cake ; They sent right home to Worth, And told him what to make ! He sent out loose, long dresses, Tlie best that he could get ; His choice his task expresses— They were mosquito net ; And whin" they danc"e and flirt, And. " teachers " say " it's skittish," The niggers, deeply hurt, , Say " Doncherknow ?- it's British !" — HaepooM.