Current Comicalities.

Observer, Volume 9, Issue 543, 25 May 1889, Page 8

Current Comicalities.

(By A. KOMIKALKOVE.)

— More queer doings are recorded in the Star cable news. Here is a choice item culled from a recent issue : — " Washington, May 15. A number of highwaymen attacked an armed treasury escort in Africa. They wounded five fatally, three severely, and decamped with thirty dollars." The last extraordinary message had reference to a Khurdish chief escaping from an American prison and performing some strange pranks ; but this is about as bad. News from Washington about an attack on a treasury escort in Africa. The escort was armed, and yet the highwaymen succeeded in killing five and wounding three more ; then they decamped with thirty dollars 1 What a disgusted lot of highwaymen they must have been. After going all the way, apparently, from Washington to Africa, and being at the trouble of killing five men, they at last had to decamp with thirty dollars, about £6 sterling ! Another paper gives a different account, and saves the highwaymen from being considered a disgrace to the profession. According to it, the robbery took place, not in Africa, but Arizona, and the plunder was $30,000. * * * — A New Zealand magazine is projected and I see it claimed that it will contain only " absolutely original writings of New Zealand authors," and matter that is "racy of the soil." It is further stated that features in the magazine will be " Maori and Gaelic pages." What I should like to know is — Who is to write the absolutely original Maori compositions ? And how can Gaelic articles be considered " racy of the soil " ? Zealandia had better draw her horns in a bit. I* * # —The Cambridge Borough Council have once more been discussing that savoury subject, the Salvation Army. Captain Duggan had written asking the Council to give a cheaper lease of the Public Hall to the Harmy. Councillor Gillett objected on account of the damage done to the property, by the disordely soldiers and others. " The Clerk said the officers would not allow anyone to leave the hall during speaking or praying, which led to a very disgusting result. It was finally resolved not to entertain the application fora reduction." I should think not ; but won't the dear captain and his hallelujah lasses think that their application has " led to a very disgusting result ?" * * # — The Wellington Press says that Lord Cranley, and another member of the family of our Governor-elect, were somewhat shorn of their glory soon after their arrival in the colony which is to be their abode for a time. They were engaged in exploring the intricacies, of the local Government House, when, suddenly opening a door, they came upon a plumber hard at work effecting some repairs, who, hearing the door open looked up. He was at a loss to know who the intruders were, and peremptorily told them to " Clear out." " But—" began the youthful Lord, " Clear out, will you, and let me get on with my work," came the abrupt demand. "Do you know who you are talking to ?'' demanded the strange one. "No I don't, and I don't want to, so clear out !" was the answer, and they "cleared out." This is a very neat yarn, I think, but to give it full effect, it ought to be pictorially illustrated and placed in juxtaposition to the other incident, when the Maori deputation in leaving Government House at Wellington got their eyes on Lord Cranley and gave him three hearty cheers with cries of " Kapai te leetle Kawana!" Will you ask the inimitable "Bio." to picture these twin scenes ?— drawing a little on his imagination, of course, as Aucklanders have not yet been privileged to gaze upon Lord Cranley. After witnessing the difference in the Maori and European receptions to the little Governor, her Majesty will more than ever show a decided preference for her beloved Maori subjects. * * # —Hard Knox at Hamilton Borough Council last week ! Mr Knox drew attention to a letter in the local Thunderer signed William Jones, which he said was " a barefaced misstatement of facts," and he was only sorry Councillor Jones was absent from the meeting. What further knocks would have been given to William Jones had he been present I can only faintly imagine ; but the Council adopted a resolution declaring that the letter was " contrary to fact." At the next meeting, if William Jones comes up to the scratch, I expect he will tell the Council " You're another," and things will become lively.