IN THE REPORTERS

Observer, Volume 9, Issue 521, 15 December 1888, Page 10

IN THE REPORTERS

BtM.T. Case.

ft( n r) o ' F - lana 8 an >' demanded the religious \^j^/' . editor, ' that Gladstone was pariiculady sound on religious matters ?' ' I have always held ' that opinion,' was the reply. ''In political affairs the old man' is goiug oS his onion somewhat, but I reckon he is sound as a bell on religious points. Why do you ask '?' ' I saw in a very recent Napier paper the fellowifg London cablegram only 1 a week old : "In ike course of an interview relative to religious controversy, Mr Gladstone stated that he never wiiits on the subject of religion, except in repetij lion of fallacious arguments." 'With his own J assertion to that effect staring you on the face, can you siill maintain that he is less eccentric in his religious views than he is in his political.?' 'He's got you now, O'Elanagan,' remarked the chief. ' What possible object can Gladstone have in repeating fallacious" arguments ?' 'You're both barking up the wrong tree again,' retorted the police-reporter. . ' I suppose it never once struck you that the telegraphist v/as a bit beery, and took tho item down wrong. One can excuse the stupidity of a drowsy telegraphist taking down such a'palpable blunder, but the eciiip. who set it ought to be shot. If you delete the word repetition and insert refutation your (wo simple minds will rest easy. What Napier paper was it in ?' ' I can't cay now, but the least the editor can do is to publicly make the amende honourable? ' The Lsnigan-Ware incident at the £ arbour Board 13 still in an unsettled state,' said the chief, ♦ but. I was much struck with the practical and forcible nature of Mi 1 Button's remarks about it. He says if Lanigan is right, he has his recourse at law.' 4 A -vary button-like observation too,' said the police-reporter, ' but that's just where Button is wrong. I know two neighbours who had a dispute over a small strip of land that connected their sections. It belonged, without doubt, to one or the other, and they had recourse to law. Did the proper owner get it? No, nor the other I one either. The Jany/cr got the lot.' j » You mean he pot' the disputed strip ?' i • ' The strip and the two sections as well, and ! then ranked on the estate for the balance of his account.' ' Much the Giime sort of thing occurred at the Harbour Board meeting the other day,' said the ; religious editor. ' The "Rrgatta Committee j wanted permission to fence oil a portion of ths 1 wharf, and charge admission to the public. Devore eaid ho felt sure the public would objees to pay, but proposed that the Eegatta Committee's request be granted. He needn't have given the public the tip not to pay.' 1 ' What an awful sell the people had who went j to Oiislow Park on Monday afternoon !' remarked the religious editor. I ' Onslow Park ! When did the tramway people change the name ?' ' Tttetj never changed the name — I have done it for them. The old name is very distasteful to i religious people. You will doubtless remember i that it was in a Potter's Paddock that the i wretched Judas Iscariot put an end to hig life/ J We have long felt that the name Bhould be i changed to something move pleasant, and I have chosen Onslow Park as both euphonious and ex- { c edingly appropriate. Even if a tram does go I on slow, it is better to be slow and sure, than j fast and sorry. Do you know vhy a tram ride to j Onslow Park is like the Melbourne Town Hall organ, O'Flanagan '?' 'I never saw the Melbourne Town Hall organ.' >■ ' • Neither have I seen it, but I am sure the answer is correct.' ' It's a great pity it was so windy on Monday,' said the chief. 'We do not often see a balioon ascension here.' ' Tho wind had nothing to do with it,' replied the police-reporter. 'Bartholomew comes here with a great rattle of drums, and is going to do a -i,OOQfb leap. When he lands, the first thing he learns is that a petty tradesman over in Sydney has just done a (5,000 ft leap, acd made no fuss at all about it. No wonder Bartholomew felt sick. The people of Auckland would not have been satisfied with less than an B,oooft leap, and the fact is the Alameda couldn't stay long enough. I sincerely sympathise with Bartlioloinew«' ' There was a most remarkable and unique letter by Vaile in the paper the other day, 1 said he religious ediior. ' Did -jcu read it, O'ElanBgan?' • I never fail to carefully peruse every letter that appears over that precious signature. You learn more about railway management from reading his letters than if you spent half a century - on the Great Western. Uut I never noticed anything peculiar about tho one you now refer to.' • ' Didn't you ? If you read it once more, you will remark that'it necrv once xsentions the name of Whangarei.' 'You don't say co! lam very anxious to see the next quarterly statement of the Whangarei line. My opinion is that its success has been not on account of its management, but in spite of it. Now that passenger fares and freight rates have been so seriously raised, I reckon the traffic will materially diminish, and, if so, Vaile will be, figuratively speaking, up a tree.' The Duaedin people seem determined to make their Exhibition a success,' remarked the chief. ' One cannot but admire the spirit displayed by the people of that city. The N.Z., employees, of one firm alone have guaranteed the immense sum of fifty-five pcuncs. It must be nearly three shillings each. 1 ' 'Bid you see that the Mofgiel directors'proposed to guarantee something like £250?' enquired the religious editor. ; ' The discussion on that proposal elicited from the chairman the statement that the directors vcted their own honoraria,' said the poliee-re-pcrter, 'and, as he pointed^: ut, if'the shareholders were so disagreeable as /to refuse t^eir sanction -to this vote of £250, the directors had simply, to' include.it in . their honoraria and then hand^it' over.' . : ( ....-,.■''.,.'■ •>'■.-' ' ; ■'- / '■ '■':,'■ ■■■ : :

y" ' Bunedin >pe6ple are/far ~:&h'ea&' o>tiffi;is&ojssA respects ■' saidVtlie-chlefiA/flv -wonder t&ft*'; tfiiil Auckland men- wh o li'ol d seats!ih •? dr^gg (Jirectorate^. l^ do not adopt a similar plan,"fe¥id,.a-irj|ii|B6 ioybjfe'-V: their own. honoraria. ■ I shall ; t^le;;resblutibns ; ta ". that effect in every, company. 'oi" Whioli . I ami. " director/, , ' , •'■-. '. • ' Looking at it from. a direct6if's'pomtr,bttiewi r : I, should allow that the? prinefple •.w'as ■'■&:\EOTM& '■'■.-. one,' said ili,e police-ieporter.',;; 1 ' but,~unliß^il;heia::.--a eeat on the directory ,"l should' .sell out 'of^an^^ Company where such a practice, .w'a^-in, vogxieXh*^- ' Who are all those youbg Ja^ies in .the;;.waity.v : -, ing room, O'Elanagan ?' asked. tiiG.cliiei.r 1 ;,;?;;.^;; ■' * It's a deputation awaiting- ous? talen'ted;Krfet.'.;> They are lady teachers attached to, £Qine bfi^"/ public schools, and they have a gf fevaiice-, r M-bich they wish Bloaifield td&lay before th 6 public in his own icimitable Bty|l.' ' ' . \.,; 'I wonder if I could be "of "any assistance .tb theiu. 1 eaid the religious editor. ' They -are as' nice-looking a lot' as I have seen for eorue tipie.' ' The -fame idea struck . me,! remarked ihes potice- reporter, ' hut our wr.djiit artist assured me he could manege them without any assistance; thank you. v Heigho ! What it is to. be young and handsome.' „-■■■■ ' You are now referring- to the girls, of course?-' 'Of course ; poor dears. I hope that rtiiy grievance they , have may be promptly and effectually remedied.' ' I hope so, I'm sure,' fervently responded the religious editor. 'Lei's go and drink their health.'