A SERIOUS CASE,

Observer, Volume 7, Issue 338, 30 May 1885, Page 20

A SERIOUS CASE,

Ho is tender and gentle and good to me always ; I have loved him from girlhood, shall love him till death ; The home he has made me a true lover's Eden, Except for a serpent that's lurking beneath. Here I sit and embroider, paint plaques, and write poetry, And wait for his coming — his fond little wife ; But when I rush to him and ask if he loves me, He kisses me, saying, "You bet your sweet life." Oh, how can I hear it? For love is so serious, So sweet and so solemn, that cruel the pang The true heart must feel when its deepest outpouring Is met in such fashion with jesting and slang. But the end is approaching, and, c'en though it kills me, I'll leave him, since surely he has'no'regard For his wife — or to-day when' I asked if he loved me .. ' :,. '■ He'd never have answered, " Why, cert, little para."

Lady : ' But how came you to leave the vicarage ?' Cook : ' Well, ma'am I'd ha' been 'appy for hever and hever, only Mr Arnold was that 'aughty, I coxildn't 'old with 'im. So I says to the 'ousemaid, Han, I saya, ' 'igh as olds 'his 'ed, I can' old my'ed 'mnble as I ham, quite as 'igh as hever he 'olds 'isn V ' She's doing some fancy skating, Scornfully curling her lips up, Speed is accelerating — She's doing some fancy skating. — And calmly annihilating. The poor little dudelet she trips ; She's doing some fancy skating, Scornfully curling her lips up. The daughter of ten had been wearing one of her mother's rings. It disappeared and she could not find it. She was sorely disturbed and pimelled for a long time as to how she would break the accident to her mamma. At last she went up, and with childish hesitation said : ' Mamma, please tell me what is the French for lost?' ' Lost my darling ? The French for lost is perdu ?' ' Well the little riug you gave me is ])enlu. : " What distinguished people did you see when you were abroad ? " was asked of Mrs. Dobbs, on her return from China. "Oh, lots of them. But the one that took nry fancy was Wan. Lung, the heirconsumptive to the throne." Husband (to indignant wife): Never you mind where I've been — jusht you take off my roller skates. Drunkard's Express : Yer husband gave me twenty-five cents tor bring him home. Indignant Wife: Well, I will give you fifty cents to take him back. "Bachelors are to be taxed in France." Married men will rejoice at this. If a man wishes to enjoy the best blessings of life he should be made to pay for them. First Husband : Its mighty late ; we j must be getting home. I'm afraid my wife will lock me out. Second Husband : What ! lock you out ? I'm not afraid of my wife doing that. First Husband : No ? Second Husband : Certainly not. If she locked me out she would deprive herself of the satisfaction of giving me a blowing up, and sho wouldn't do that for the world. A coloured woman has gone insane because a gipsy warned her that her husband would be killed. Sudden joy is just as dangerous as sudden grief, it appears. Maggie (to her stepfather, who is very popular with the children) : I wish you had been here when our other papa was alive. You would have liked each other so much. 'Ma,' asked young Johnny Jarphly, 'if you were El Mahdi, would you go around dressed in a shirt and a sword ? ' " '"■■ ' I would .undoubtedly have to. conform to the custom of the country,' with- some hesitancy, r/eplied Mr Jarphly. : . ' Well, tell me,: ma, would you wear the sword in front or behind ? -. . 'Do not ask such ridiculous questions, Johnny.' -' ' . -'; ' That ain't ridiculous ma. Would you wear the sword under the shirt, or the shirt under the sword ?' ' Stop talking, Johnny,,«and scour those knives.' ' But I want to know, ma. . Us fellows are going to- have a masquerade ball next week, and I want to represent El Mahdi.'