BRIEF MENTION

Observer, Volume 7, Issue 335, 9 May 1885, Page 14

BRIEF MENTION

A counter running from side of the building Is being fixed up at the Post-office for the delivery of letters. At last !

The " Swell Artilleree " bids fair to become the crack corps of the city, and to put all the other corpses in the shade.

The Star Hotel at Kikikihi has changed liands at £1800, Mr Loratn, of Wanganui, takes over the house from Mr Wilkinson.

The compilation of the militia rolls has elicited the curious fact that there are far fewer men under 30 years of age than was supposed. This is very remarkable.

The latest addition to the Colonial army is the Devil's Own Corps, which the lawyers of our town are forming. It is doubtful if the Government will accept their services.

In the last letter of Gordon's made public, lie writes : •' I will accept nothing whatever from Gladstone's Government. I will not let them pay my expenses. I will never set foot in England again."

Auckland .enjoys the proud distinction of "being the cheapest city in the Colony for *' long sleevers," for which 6d each is the ■uniform charge in Wellington, Christchurch, Dunedin, and the smaller townships.

There is a pet hog* on Queen-street that salutes every citizen with a friendly grunt, no matter what that citizen's qualifications are for understanding pig language or his previous or.present predilection in religion or politics.

The services of the 40 fine fellows forming the Auckland Cavalry corps have been accepted by the Government. The corps owes its existence to Mr Hazell, the popular ridingmaster, and is commanded by the equally popular Captain Seccombe.

The New York Herald says, " If this dynamite villainy is not stamped out it will result in anarchy in the -United States, for the respectable people of this country will not tolerate the use of it in the hands of the turbulent and dangerous elements of society."

Dr. Haines has devoted to the use and service of the hospital a set of very valuable surgical instruments of the latest scientific pattern and make, which he purchased with the purse o£ guineas presented to him by an admiring public.

We have received from Mr John Webster a file of the Egyptian Times, from which we learn that our Hokiangan was sojourning in Cairo. Our Trojan will probably wander up the Nile as far as the Mudir of Dongola's place, and will no doubt give his Arabs n few lessons in war dancing.

Mr. Ales. S. Murray, of the South British Insurance, has joined the army of Benedicts. His wedding tour was from Calcutta to Hong Kong. His common excuse for not writing us was — the weather was so infernally hot. We hope he finds it cooler now. We congratulate the dear old boy.

According to the Herald's London corTespondent, someone (ignoring the famous advice of the elder Mr Weller) has been writing home to Mr Spurgeon for a widow. Now the widow market will be glutted with the home article. "Why didn't the widowfancier try Hannaford, and encourage local industry ?

"She is a graceful and cultured actress; loving art for its own sake ; and careful to eschew aught that is vicious or degrading in tone or sentiment." So saith the Star, referring to Miss de Grey's representation of *« Moths." This is rather tall writing, considering that that play, like that of " Adrienne Xiecouvreur," its predecessor, abounds in suggestive naughtiness and nastiness. Such be your guides, O ye people !

An absent-minded individual, with a piece of blue ribbon occupying a conspicuous place on Ms breast, wandered into a Victoria-street hotel the other night and asked in a far-away-voice for " brandy hot." "I always thought "brandy was not a Blue Ribbon drink," murmured the fair one presiding at the bar, as she reached for the P.B. bottle. "Blue Ribbon drink?" said the newly - pledged Capperite. "Of course it's not; I only wanted to christen ' my bit o' blue.' "

A few evenings ago, an Observek man happened to be sauntering up Hobsonstreet when he overtook Messrs G — — —

and G — -, who were walking and talking together. The former G. was telling the latter G. about the large number of properties which he owned in Auckland. Then, holding out his hand, he asked, •' Would any man say that that is a gentleman's hand?" "Well," replied the latter G., " nobody would ever mistake it for a lady's."

A ball, the first of the- season, was given in the Town Hall, Helensville, on Friday, May 1, which was patronised by the leading citizens of the town and the settlers in the district; also by several ladies and gentlemen Auckland. The music was provided by Mr A. Read's band from Auckland, and Mr Ford, of the Kaipara Hotel, supplied the refreshments, both giving general satisfaction. The manner in which the catering arrangements were carried out reflected great credit upon Mr and Mrs Ford. The programme lasted until the small hours of Saturday morning, when the company broke up, apparently -well pleased "with the evening's, amusement.

Overheard in Queen-street. — First Loafer (gazing lazily after a man bearing an advertising board on his back) : ""Wonder what that chap gets a-week for carrying that thing around — couple of notes?" Second Loafer (with irony): " About half -a- crown a day, I should say, and his board."

A man has been found dead (says a Melbourne exchange) on the Carondotta Station, Queensland, with a paper pinned to his body with the strange device, ' Bitten by a snake.' This example, if regularly followed out, would tend to clear up many mysterious disappearances. For instance, a man going in swimming up North where sharks and alligators abound should take an empty bottle along. Pursued and hopeless of escape, he scrawls a line • Just been collared by a shark (or alligator, as the case may be), corks up his bottle whilst the shark (or alligator) is saying grace, and becomes absorbed into the system of his captor. His widow is thereby spared the aggravation of having to wait seven years, with her good looks leaving her, before she can marry again.

A five-horned cow and a full-grown horse of about the size of a well-developed Newfoundland dog, are not to be seen every day under the same roof, or even separately for that matter. This interesting sight may be witnessed in Queen-street at the present time; however, the tent containing these ' freaks of nature,' as the showman styles them, is erected on the site recently occupied by Mr Cosgrave's drapery establishment. ' Tom Thumb,' the diminutive horse referred to, is a beautiful little animal only 27 inches in height, and as playful and docile as a kitten. He is rising five years old, and is out of a 16-hands mare. The five-horned cow is a beauty, and there can be no question about the genuineness of the extra horns, which the showman is at some pains to prove are not ' stuck ou.' The exhibition is certainly worth a visit. The fee charged the proprietors by the City Council was £20 — a terrible handicap for a small affair like this. It seems the Council will only issue 12-month licenses, and their unifom charge is ' twenty lovely notes.' A tent the size of a dog-kennel and Woodyear's Circus are put on the same footing so far as the fee goes, and both must take out a license good for a year, although they are only going to stop a couple of nights, it may be, in town.