THAMES TITTLE TATTLE

Observer, Volume 7, Issue 158, 22 September 1883, Page 16

THAMES TITTLE TATTLE

It is rumoured that Christmas -will find Charlie S. a' " gone coon," and also that Baskets win tho trace. I always thought so Is it true that C. McL. has foresworn female society since his last break t or has he appointed his boy, to djq.his .share of spooning i. It appears" so, from the,aniount Saveloy indulges in...... The <§t.' George's Quadrille Assembly, open the holiday season with a grand revival dance on the' Bth of .November Once again.— When is F., M.'s foreman, going to do it ?..... .How very ladylike those young ladies, ; next to Hamilton's church, were behaving last Friday night, screaming and yelling like a lot of maniacs People's wonderment at not hearing the 1 dulcet notes of Jim B.s instrument is explained by the arrival of a litte stranger— so like its pa, tto !. Willie , D., the Bolleston-street butcher, is said to be passionately foud of hacon Who says.that Poppy W. conaiders dancing too expensive at two shillings a week ? The height of his ambition appears to be the Engineer bob hop. Why don't you take the inamorata, Foppy? Is it truo that J. W. W. recently bortght three pigs from a Parawai widow, and never paid for them ? Surely it must be false, and yet some say 'tis true Somowhero about 70 couples were inspecting the rail--way works on Sunday night. Nyum-nyums plentiful. Charlie C, in his charitable . mood, . attended two itinerals in a fortnight. Was it for charity, or to save -"anti-fat," Charlie P.. Were. you returning from Sunday-school, George, when you met those two young girls at Burton's corner ? Your changes vary, from the sublime to the ridiculous Our Jumbo, in the person of Mick Conroy, chucker-outtothelrishtown Quadrille Assembly, made his debAt in . the fop* ball match on ' Thunder and lightning^ how he scattered them There are signs of mutiny. /among the- male members of Professor Doran's dancing ojass* because the pro. will persist in attending all the laay members home himself. Give them a show; Jimmy. The cause of so many dusky damsels appearing in mourning is because Darkie has transferred his affections to the Waiotahi Hill Who were those two forlorn damsels , that refased Jimmy's escort on Sunday night ? The | look the elder one gave hra ougphtto satisfy his most sanguine aspirations aa.a -victimizer of victims fair. Oh, Hookey ! What's the case, Jim? At whose representation did the T. Clerk cause that . sign- j board in Upper Albert-street to be erected? Was it , clone to spite poor old C? A very neighbourly action, j certainly Jimmy McL. was once again amongst the^ fair ones on Sunday night. It is certainly refreshing +(j" observe Jim; his style of spooning is all his owj^'and perfectly inimitable...;. . Comments were freely made list week on the Star's report of the accidi>v b at the football match to Mr Thorn ngfiiw-Ke- &fi>- could not | see him as Mr Thompson and why.? because he earns I his bread by the Bj!S6i' o t his brow. Had it been a bank i olerk, telegr&gnts't, or post-office boy, it would have | lieeri 2fr.~ Enough said ; it is the general tone of the | St°X ....We are always happy to correct mistakes, and "•Virfeotiy willing to bear pur own cross, so beg to inform ' Miss G. and Co. that it was not Mr J. who forwarded I that little par. last week. We are around when least expected. Please note this I would strongly advise Horsey and Mr Dan McL., of a Shortland meat emporium, to check their outbursts ©f slanderous backfciting,™ certain pars., unless they want to find them- < selves in hot water— so hot it may leave a nasty scar, i Do they not think it wo'»ld be more manly to say what | they have to say before a person's face instead of behind his back. Tho former's language on entering the B.C. on Friday night was highly polite, I mast say, and, Ae'ing jplainly heard in Pollen-street, caused more than i one pedestrian to stop a moment, only to continue their -walk disgusted. " But I don't bark like a cur at my hee1.".. ..'..1n future I intend to refrain from venturing forth on Sunday evenings, but will appoint a deputy, so don't cut up pranks, as I generallyyeturn home melun- ; choly; the cause being a sight so mournful to behold as the appearance of so many graceful maidens promenading without a male escort, while so many strapping, young miners stand smoiing and ganging at, street i corhera.. Were I a marrying man, I really would join the "Mormons, and take all tho forlorn creatures to Salt Lake The next matter ot vital importance in our midst is the rivalry that . wil} exist between tho committees of the "jam tarts" and Irishtown Quadrille Assembly on the matter of a fancy dress ball, to take place prior to Christmas, on a scale of magnificence and oeauty, with a determination to outvie even the St. <Jeorge Quadrille Assembly's latest success. The ladiea of both are vicing with each other re the style and richness of costume. We anticipate a very close contest, and would suggest that long H, and the M.C. of the Engineer hop meet; and settle the matter amicably to prevent a crash. For once let the lion lay down with the lamb, by amalgamating both committees, and pulling together. Foregoing suggestions gratis Why didn't Horsey go to the ball ? formed the subject of a par. a week or two ago. As I was curious to know the reason myself, I proceeded to investigate the whole affair, and now answer the question, and in doing so, give a summary of all I discovered in reference to the apparently simple question. The reason was, because he was refused an invitation for his sister and Miss L. But hereby hangs another tale, which requires explanation. When the St. George's Quadrille Assembly started eleven month ago, the committee passed a rule allowing no person who attended certain weekly hops to nave invitations, but, in consideration for " Horsey," •who is one of their own crowd, stretched a point and issued one to his sister, although this was against the xule. \Tbis she returned, together with an insulting letter"to"thw committee, whom she charged with allowing themselves to be influenced by several young ladies, whom slie mentioned. Of course after this the committee only did right tb erase her name from the invitation list, and her brother should have known better than ask for one for the ball, and thereby stir up that which is' better left alone. If he did not care to go when his sister could not ( through her own act, mind), he. should have used a little discretion, and "held his tongue." As to the other girl mentioned, the committee never had her name on their list, although frefluently solicited to do so. Reviewing the whole affair, I say the committee did quite right, as, by bringing the "weekly dance crowd" into their assembly, would mean its (the assembly's) total extinction in one night.

Wellsford and' Mahurangi people have caught the Thames mania over the widow. Betting, 40 to I against her : store-keepers, 30 to 1, as eh— dyne is down 100 per cont> since her departure How is it our crack shot. Burgoo' 'Peter, has never won the District Belt yet? Captain Tom, how was it you didn't take Maggie to the. concert,, instead, .of' 'the stranger? Prank's cup of 'happiness is full to the brim. Eliza is once more amongst us Our professor was got up regardless' of expense' at ■ Her ' Schmitt's concerts Miss R., of Te Aroha, is favouring us with a visit. She is a guest of Mrs M.;..;. The manager of the Darwin has Bot struck' gold yet, but when he was in town he struck a banana patch What made the goat follow Tommy?; Harry <H., of Mackay-street, lqoks very disconsolate since he heard of the engagement between Miss Janey S., of Kirikiri Sawmill, and a certain young man from Mercury Bay Andrew, the milk boy, of Kirikirii nays the reason he is s6' fond, of the -song, called "I'll be all smiles to-nierht f dear mother," is because, it is a favourite of Janey's, of Kirikiri Sawmill. ..-..i.Saridy H,, the carpenter, must be husbanding his strength in anticipation hi old age and large family he will have to support. He got a job at a pub., day -wages; looks at the clock at a-quorter-past three, and says, " Mate,' we ore working too fast — spin it out." This last remark also applies to the contributions he levies on the poor store-keepers A certain gentleman connected w4th the Queen of Beauty js flying about •with the 'fan? waitress of a certain hostelry. . .'. . .Eliza ' is broken-hearted since stalwart Dick took his departure for Helensville..... .Freddy again disgraced the Shortlanders in £he Union match. He should go' olf the field, if he wants to fight .Jumbo is quite a lady-killer. He had better look put the papas Watty seemed as if he had. not had anything to eat for a month by the way he put away that half tip. of biscuits that he collared at the feed Saint William Henry devotes most ©f his time to the hazardous task of cultivating sideboards, which have not yet come out for inspection....,: The Shortlanders have again shown their luck at foothall, by being, as usual, beaten. They see now that they ought >t6 have tiled; : conclnsidns ; with * the ? Old Hen's Befuge, where no donbt/they would bav«i learnt aome valuable lhints ifrom 1 the old ! stagers. .•..". .Mattdia very wbllbit^Saturday night by quietly taking charge of that 1 > ydang- lMy from her former chaperon How luoUeaa the Baptists maideiiß)mußt be,- aa'we hear'thehi almost continually singing "Oy>.wtae«i Is tf;|»*boy-lo-aight." If they only go to the street corners they will

find more than enou-ih Isn't Ginger gooi enough for the Sho tland Fifteen . J or how is it hs was left ou t? It is a pity the Shortlanlers couldn't raise a better umpire.

Te Aboha. : — George M. is just back from the Thames, he must have made shocking havoc on the different hencoopes as be brought with him both male and female poultry The big mate was up the hill the other day, and, I must say, was very nearly loosing the number of his mess In passing over the bridge leading to Kerrymen's cutting, his foot slipped, and over he '■ went a distance pf 28 feet, or there abouts. Fortunately he fell through the woodwork beneath, and a certain part of the mates eartnly tabernacle stuck fast, holding him their until assistance came For the love of your father and mother will you ask T. where did he pick up Frank's pipe? Wp had a little vocalisation on the hill last Monday. The singing wasn't up to much with tho exception of Mr O. X., who gave " The night that poor Lnrry.was stretohed, och one I" yelled by a voice as melodeous as the sound made by sharpening a saw, the viberation, created by it, smashed two cups and put ;a Bplit in the bottom of the old fryingpan. The defunct ■Larry must have fancied the morning of the KesurrecItion had come Mick, you might be as good a whistler as ever cocked a lip, but if that is singing, ye gods and ilittle fishes I I hope it will never be my misfortune to hear you cry There is a man in Te Aroha Whose feet are so large that he is going to use them this summer as sun-shades to keep the sun off his body The Blue Eibbon Army has invaded our land and carried off our wives andlittle ones. The new recruit who promently done the bit o' blue should not buy bottled brandy on the sly A lot of women assemble here weekly for what they call a Bee, the principle part of their occupation is picking holes in other womens characters and chawing one another into jelly. They would find much more profitable employment in looking after their little ones aud repairing their husband's unmentionables Why don't you marry the girl Tim ?