TARANAKI TALL TALK.

Observer, Volume 6, Issue 142, 2 June 1883, Page 169

TARANAKI TALL TALK.

—Was it not rather shabby of Mr C. £o'take •. his departure so suddenly for the Empire City, only'to reappear in New Plymouth a few days afterwards with; a ~,. blushing young bride, to trie astonishment of all his friends. He might think it'was a good goak to Tseep"• '' everyone in the dark, but what will that young lady . say with whom he. used .to flirt so desperately in_New ,'•. Plymouth P Is it true she intends to "go for him" 'by . • bringing an action for breach of -promise ? If so, there. will be some fine fun in store~ for "Oliver/ , ; whose -' special pleading and knowledge of how to pack a New Plymouth, jury can't be beaten. . ' J ~ —The quiet and aristocratic Elliott-street'was the scene of great disorder on Saturday night last/the. '-' residence of Mr T., so well known for-his prominent ' '- Good Templar principles, being invaded, by a .drunken' ' madman. Mr T. happened to be away from home at the \ time, delivering' a, temperance lecture in the. Free> masons' Hall, o(uite < unconscious of , the tragedy, thai,' \ was being enacted in his own house, and, that has wife and family narrowly escaped out■ of the hands of'a demon by the timely intervention of the neighbours. . Moral: Don't go to temperance meetings every, night holding forth against the demon drink, or you may, ..■ find (as did Ml T.) that: self-same demon "smashing in . your front doof and frightening your wife (and' little, ones out of their wits. . , . ■ . . ■ —The seasoa for " doing " Mount Eginqnt/is '. now passed, as she has now donned her, first mantle of.' . snow. One adventure, however, occurred 1 'during;the ' ; season which is worthy of being placed on record as a warning to all tourists who have a fancy for'climbing. ".- Our Commissioner of Customs, accompanied by, his as* " sistant, also a well-known brewer and one .'or two other . gentlemen, started on a trip up the mountairiytdking ', with them tents and provisions for a five days'cam- ... paign. They.started in high glee, not doubting.that- '• they would reach the summit of the mountain, get a- ■'.-. glimpse of Nelsdn in the gorgeous sunset (which is a '' real sight), and carve their names among the records ,on \ < Mount Egmont. Alas! " man proposes, but God dig. ■': poses," for the gay company lost their track ' base of the mountain in- the thick mist, and, after ,-'. wearily tramping backward and forward for three days and nights (until all the overproof spirit, which the Customs authorities had at their disposal.gave out), ■. they decided to retarn home. On showing up in; New - Plymouth, they looked like spectres, and , seme of the ■, party will tell you confidentially over a glass of Jioddy that they had never made bigger asses of themselves in. ■ all their lives before—and that is saying a good deal. . —I have got a parallel to the story in,your last issuo in the following episode, which happened a ", week or two ago in New Plymouth:—A gentleman' resi- ,: dent at Hawera was desirous of selling his villa at New . Plymouth, and a would-be purchaser of supposed_untold< wealth entered into negotiations for the purchase of the property. Tie house was furnished, Mr C. not haying removed his household effects to Hawera," and "the in-.:^ , .. tending purchaser , asked:permissibn of the:.agent to occupy the house for two months on approvalbefore '. purchasing, which was thoughtlessly granted, unk,tfd?ra ' '''• to the proprietor. Judge of the surprise of 'Mtf Ci'.whdn, ' .on returning with hie good lady to New Plyinouthby, the evening'train a few daysUf-er, he ' ...,."1 iiishouge ' • occupied, and. etrangers ordering- his ■x.-!---.[M abont. An explanation was of course sought, t-< j,s haughtily denied, and the denouenvenf was an oiterea.Lion, thestrangers being expelled at the. point.,' v <*?Qilt\. ~C The affair soon leaked out, and w.- .':he cpnimoiftalk of ~ the town. The proceedings tbj' .-.;ent- to terminate-in an action for assault and but- on second', thoughts it was hiish'e*! up. rtWd the'local Press lost'the' „• chance of a syicey local - ' -...■;'"■;.'• ; ...-'-'-,', V — We have hadx^ , ~ u flutter". herei -lately. , ixt '-; legal circles, on Vug occasion of the half-yearly Visit-pf ' Mr Justice on circuit, arid New Plymou£li ; ha»\ . been literally by barristers and solicitors from ' the out-districts. The Judge has a'regular fixed style •'■--, ot u<idress.it)tr tbe Grand Jury, and he invariably finde4-. cause f ~s congratulation, on account, of :,the great'v'': majoWjcy of the cases coming from the other sidfedf.the =,' (i.e., Mount Egmont)— "from tne outposts of "_'-.•' ei'V': fation, where wild and lawloaecharißcfcereicpiigreii' - ; * liteT , ' These are his own words, andr^he;.is; rattier -,:■ '--'o'ogn on Patea, Hawera, and the other " buiqaoats'of', I civjl'aation." If the learned Judge does notaltetfhis ■'. style slightly oa the occasion of his next, Visit, he will. ! no doubt be called upon by the Press to give; an explain nation. The idea of designating Hawera and'Patea,' ' which sport two daily newspapers; the."outposts'of, civilisation," is absurd, and is.calculated to, wound Qic feelings of respectable settlers.' Judge; Gillies is right * to a certain extent—there are' unddubtedliy, uncivilised; districts in this'country, districts' which ;a?e a disgrace . -to this age of progress; but heisriotiacouratein&is , geography. Instead of, being on '.'the other side of the , Mountain," they are on.the other x side of the; White ' Cliffs, to !> Mdiatf f where pakeha-Maoris congregate . ■ and'put' the natives up;tb all, manner o mischief. ' Unfortunately sjiph oriuiinals ;cannpt r be reached arm).of theilaw, -''pt the'Judge'a i TOuiarKs',yfOuld be' stpgu. - larly appropriate in their ■.;' v ' '.■'•".''■ ~ *