The Observer.Saturday, July 1st, 1882

Observer, Volume 4, Issue 94, 1 July 1882, Page 242

The Obserber.

Saturday, July Ist, 1882. HONEST WILLIES COFFIN. Willie Swanson tells a good story of himself and of liis quondam partner, Jimmy Johnston, the carpenter. " Honest Willie," as he is affectionately termed by his admirers, knows a thing or two, and the man will hare to rise very early in the morning who gets to windward of him. If locked up in a room with another fellow he would make a deal in swapping jackets, rather than lose a chance of trade. In the good old times he and his partner got an order to make a coffin for a well-known Boniface, who was believed to be in articulo mortis, though that fact was not known to Willie and his partner at that time. On the completion of the coffin, they took it up, in the innocence of their- hearts, to the pub., so that the publican might be coffined. The sick man heard the noise, occasioned by its being carried lip the corridor, and ascertained the cause ! Like searching tha pockets of the " drowned " man, it simply "-resuscitated " him, and he was so exasperated at what he regarded as the indecent haste of his relatives - that, he recovered, just to spite them, and lived for many a long year afterwards ! The coffin was thrown back upon the ' hands of Willie and his partner, — an awkward contingency, as it was not every day a seventeenstone customer could be got for it. dfeut Willie was equal to the situation, and the outcome of the business is characteristic of the man who has been the architect of his own fortune and hewn his way to fame and power by indomitable perseverance and fertility of resource. Auckland was just then runnings its first temple of Thespis, and Willie and his partner lent the coffin to the gaff on "heavy tragedy" nights, at "five bob a go," till they had recouped the original outlay. That was not the last of it, as an, old identity now slumbors in the all-round coffin in the Symonds- " street, cemetery. Yet in the face of such instances of successful push as this, people keep whining, " What shall we do with Our IJoys ?"

MOUSETRAPS AND HYMNS. Mr Thomas Spurgeon got off a good story the . . other day, at a muffin struggle, respecting his revered parient, Mr Charles Haddon Spurgeon, Charles, when a little boy, lived with his grandmother, a devout old dame, who, stimulated his youthful aspirations in the paths of. virtue bygiving him a penny for every hymn he committed, to memory. The boy went to work con amore, . j and the calls upon the domestic treasury for pennies came hot and heavy. The old lady admired the little fellow's diligence, but like the .. prudent woman she was, reduced the reward by one-half. That only led to Charles leai'ning twice as many hymns as formerly, and the depletion of the " stocking " went on till the reward was re- ' duced to one-fourth, the original amount — to a . farthing. Charles was equal to the situation j lie just learned quadruple the number of hymns, ' and kept his incomings at the normal standard, ; so that move was played out. . What would have happened to the ,old lady's financial resources m. .'•• the long run noxme knows. ,As luck would , have v" it, the house became infested with mice. ■'£. reward of one penny per head was forthcoming '. from the grandfather for evfery mouse disposed 'of. ■;■:.'

Charles wenfrout of the hymn trade and invested in mousetraps. Such was his success in his new sphere of labour thai; the reward had to be reduced gradually, as in the hymn business, till the youthful" Patent Self-acting Vermin Killer" had cleaned out the establishment alike of mice and pennies. " But," said Mr Thomas Spurgeon, in relating the incident, "while hearing my father tell this story to his own family, at his own fireside, amid shouts of laughter, I have not forgotten .the moral he drew from it. Said "my father, •" Children, the pennies, the half -pennies, and the farthings, are gone; the mousetraps are gone; but the. hymns, burnt into" my memory in childhood, remain a precious, and .abiding treasure." . . ■»- ■