WAIKATO WHISPERINGS

Observer, Volume 4, Issue 81, 1 April 1882, Page 42

WAIKATO WHISPERINGS

—During his stay in Waikato, the Hon. Mr Eolleston was the guest of our worthy representative (Mr J. B. Whyte), at his place, near Hamilton. , — The TeAwamiitu politician and local squib originator contemplates the suspension of the E.M. for Ms adverse judgment in the recent imbroglio case. He will, in all probability, petition the House at its next sitting. — What publicans can do towards furthering the interest of a Farmer's Co-operative Association may be asked, when such men as Mine Host, of the Tamahere, are permitted to assume a dictatorial position in the society. — What has become of the Conms Dramatic Club? is a question often asked by the people of Hamilton, and one lam not in a position to answer. It is now over twelve months since we had a performance, and consequently people are beginning to think the club exists- no longer. But then you see there are no local charities now. — The gentleman -who so successfully tendered for tho big ration contract on the Eotorua-road, and who wished to be allowed to know, his own business best, when queried by the gallant Colonel as to the correctness of his calculations, has at last discovered that he did not know so much about his own business after all. — The ever-verbose Martinßrown, of Hamilton has gone, in company with Constable Wild, on a visit to Mount Eden. Martin has been suffering recently from a bad tongue ; and the local justice bench deemed it advisable to give him a change of air, and an opportunity of exercising the more useful and less abusive members of his system. —^It is curious what credence is put in the j sayings of the great. One poor human may "gas" till morning and still never be believed, whereas another may " gas " for the samo length of time to the same ; company, and every word he utters is taken jn as gospel. A Cambridge "spark" visited Alexandra recently, and his appearance being far in advance of his means, he was forced to come out with something explanatory. He had just "a sixty" by the last '"Frisco," and was expecting another one by the incoming " Suez." This is too much More-ton altogether. — Kihikihi having got its public hall with its several public hall committees, I would not be surprised if they permitted their enterprise to hang firo here. What they now want is a daily newspaper with an editor well-versed in the art of laudation, both public and personal, so that all those great and mighty, . jtiumgh somewhat flighty would-be politicians and other public office bearers, notably the School Committee, the numerous public hall committees, the dramatic, jockey, and athletic clubs, the Town Board, and the Domain Board, with sundry other factional arrange--1 ments, clans, and combinations, may have ample justice done, and high tribute paid, whether deserving or otherwise, to their individual public deeds and performances. --.---■•- j — The youths of Hamilton are going in for a big day on Easter Monday. A gigantic picnic is to monopolise the day, and a' ball, on an almost unprecedented scale, will pass over the night. The picnic is to j come off on the lawn in front of Mr Caukwell's residence, where a luncheon booth is to be erected, and tho Hamilton Band will contribute the music. The most imposing—in more senses than one-yfeature of the day's programme is that admission will be charged to the ground, the whole proceeds to go to aid the funds of the band. If I recollect aright, almost every public concern got up in Hamilton for the past few years has been in aid of their all-absorbing musical institution. Why not follow the example of Cambridge, where a number of persons who appreciate the existence of a band of music support it by their annual subscriptions ? Te Awamutu at present boasts of tho finest band in Waikato. What, therefore, can be said of the apathy of Hamilton ? —A good story is seldom the worse for age. Considering it has not come to light on any previous occasion, and as the following has the latter feature in its favour, I will be excused for bringing it forward just now. Some time ago, when a newspaper flourished — positively flourished— in Cambridge, a gentleman, who had occasion to boast of a magnificent bunch of openair grapes of his own growing,- asked the proprietor of the said nourishing journal to send his reporter round to sample the' same, and bring the extraordinary production of nature before the public. The reporter received his instructions accordingly, but had the misfortune to get paid off the following day. This, however, . did not deter him from sampling the grapes; for he went straight away, procured the beautiful bunch (with the intention of bringing it to the office), sat down on the road side, where the ever wisdom-like J. H. scoffed the lot. or, as he says himself, shared them with his Dolly. . — Moreton, the warbler, has returned from Alexandra, and his prosey narratives re his adventures " there and his reception by Eoyalty, are at once striking and entertaining. The story has been repeated so often that I don't find it altogether necessary to refer to my notebook for assistance. The 1 tale commences with a glowing description of how the great Maori potentate — King Tawhiao.and.his infantine valet (Wahanui)-r-were transmitted from Finch's dining-room into : som'e un- • known earthly paradise by the magic influence of the young Folio's musical voice. Then it diverges into a pouftrayal of h'6w, -When the "ypting gallant was 1 issuing forth from his chanibpr on 'the following morning/ the two great Maori ! dignitaries of the previous evening were scrapj&g' a^& whining atiout the. door, exclaiming in audible 'tbneS— " Kdpai' tepakeha;'". '«Waiata pixi," and several iptHer" suchlike Euphonious, ejaculations. The King ''irivites'iii^t^'brekkfast," when he is .favoured - with.thTheadof'th^ > w J aiss6 l 6iipg'-'tw6Xßw§ n s f '?^'^ !^W'^ li ' nli:> ''' Hbnburs, '"'■• . ruflueVnp^inrVilbiihgs do'wi a'TTankee pipe?(cpst; price . 6sa)£^ afiai'^rVientl'-iti' .' pya^pbihtment'-en^ues. ' The* '-■-■- tetter ifinp^be^pwed^'jand^dukMoms being "scarce, he '"" 'ii-' i -"iCQSuiiii^/by}SfiS^\aat^-'"^f 7 Wjß^me'' the. Court ' w^blo^tdf^isSiffiEile'sty j"Bui 'the'renYuneratio'ii' being ■ r Wdfcatoi'Times rpf 4 " ,'d4y;ias^ t%%ijd'ard>nd the indepehdent"and-pofeitiv«ly' V^;sa^iJßte£]ttg^e^ij^Qf jhe^ownrl^paiyl nad^af somewhat ; am^ftfes,ani4;cjjmp^ j^tßpajs,j AeV| «cpn^:^a^i$ s w'p j uld, jas^ JOT e,d

valuable servicesTas assistant engineer m , Greyrstreet. It strikes me' forcibjyyihowever, that the irepqrt; was somewhat onesided, as it foils -to bring forward MrS-.S bland acknowledgments in -their? true and explanatory light, and this ppinion "is confirmed by, the '^gentleman .himself^wiom,:<lhear, : brought the youthful.mexperaericed stpP^tasfc forbjs -one-j9idedhessV jffc^H.^it appeai'si^ifiupossefse'dtoffconsidorable 'Uiteresti>in%.yrey- ■ street, and like a thorough public man, with a purely public mind, was bent on seeing that the servants of tne Board did not discharge their functions in a purely perr. functory manner. The Engineer had given a certifi-' cate for the work (which, I hear, was only half finished) and refused to allow Mv H. to carry out some valuable improvements at his own expense. This, of course, was' obstinacy of the worst class ; and when the meeting of the Board came round, the member referred to brought forward his grievance. But the Engineer, not to be sat upon, laid down a remedy, and this not being enter*, tamed, gave all present to understand that he was Engineer, and while he held that office would not tolerate interference from Ned or anybody else. • — One of the most indispensable virtues in a public officer is courage, and without courage a man who assumes to fill the position of protector of the peace, is without anything whatever to commend him; Men who take upon themselves the duties of special constable should also be slightly endowed with this virtue, unless they accept office in the hope of never having the duties pertaining to the office to perform. Three gentlemen, one of the f ©riner class, . and two of the latter, volunteered their services as night-watchman to mine host, of the National, after therecent deliberate attempt to fire his hotel. They were accommodated with a sitting-room, and I believe with the usual indispensable stimulants of their extemporaneous calling, wherewith to pass the weary hours of the night. Having fallen asleep unknown to each, other in the early part of the night the triplets were awakened with a grating noise in the lower part of the house. The three jumping up simultaneously, the supposititious leader of the party seized a gigantic brass candlestick and thrust it. into the hands of the native interpreter man. The diminative little draper of Duke-street was bundled to the front, and the great B getting behind, the procession proceeded on its very undesirable message. On turning the bend, the courageous guardians began to lose faith in each other, but the little man .was steadily kept in front by the individual with the candlestick, who, on reaching within a few steps of the bottom, sent the frontispiece to arrest the burglar, who by this time had almost fainted in the passage. Little J. consulted the burglar who turned out to be a boarder who had risen in the night to view the landscape, and who implored to be left to go his way, his errand permitting of no unnecessary delay. The burglar having reached the outside of the building, the interpreter man (who still admits his timidity) accompanied by his friend the orthodox peace-preserver, rushed from thoir safe position on the stairs, clashed and bolted the door, and with an air of triumph, informed the delinquent through the key-hole that he could amuse himself oufside until morning.

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