THE SAGD OF SIR JOHN.

Observer, Volume 4, Issue 79, 18 March 1882, Page 9

THE SAGD OF SIR JOHN.

" Spuds ana the Man I Sing." PROEM. Gone are the Skalds of old, who sangOf conquering raid and tattle clang ; But still the hero race survives, And patriotic valour lives. Ye bards of old, your influence fling Around me, while I strive to sing In stirring words and worthy rhyme The actions of thi s after-time. Descend ; your lips and lyres engage To sing this Bryce and Bunkum age ! I.— Skald Scott sings : — Oh ! brave Johnny Bryce has gone down to the West ; For quiet, steady trotting his steed was the best ; And the stout Riot Act was the weapon ho bore, While a thousand gay riflemen marched on before. Though the foemen were naked, and arms they had none, His force was well armed, and full five to one : Oh, for purpose so noble and manner so nice, There was never a warrior like brave Johnny Bryce ! He stayed not for brake and ho stopped not for stone, For the road-making " bobbies " before him had gone ; So he boldly rode into the Prophet's great hall, 'Mid Te Whiti, and Tohu, and Tito and all. They looked up to scowl as he looked down to read, But he would not descend from his peaceable steed ; For chokef ul of coui age, and rich in device, Was the gallant old warrior — brave Johnny Bryce ! ll.— Skald Campbell sings :— Of the West and Johnny Bryco Sing the glorious day's renown, How the Maoris in a trice To submission were brought down, And Victoria was established on her throne. The bobbies took their stand In a bold, determined baud, And Bryce, in chief , command, Led them on ! Like black pudding dipped in grease Sat the Maoris in a row, While their Prophet preached of peace, And Kowaru muttered " No," As the bobbies rummaged roiind for each gun j They pinned their prisoners three, And Johnny shouted " Gee ! Let past my steed and me, I Every one !" t{\ Thus rough-shod rode the chief, ' Treading on the children's toes ; f\ And the sounds of woe and grief ' J From the Maoris wildly rose, And old Tito looked particularly glum ; * While the Special of the Star Viewed the conflict, from afar, And could only cry—" Oh Lor' ! • This is rum 1" lll.— Skald Southey sings :— Sir Arthur to New Zealand came When his Fiji work was done, And he saw a little Maori lad A-playing in the sun, Who came to ask what he had found, That was so small, and smooth, and round. Sir Arthur took it from the boy, Who stood expectant by ; This blue-blood loved the dusky race, So with a deep-drawn sigh, " 'Tis some poor Maori spud," said he, • ' That fell in that great victory !" *' Ah, yes'" the little heathen said, • "My father lived hard by ; They tore his wltare to the ground, . And he was forced to fly ; But tell me why they stole our duds, And -wasted all our corn and spuds ?" " It was the noble Volunteers Came swarming all about ; But why they stole your goods and cash, I never could make out ; But everybody says," quoth he, *• It was a famous victory ! fiQ ** They say it was a shocking sight, ' When Bryce' s work was done, To see full twice ten thousand spuds N Lie rotting in the sun ; » But things like that, it seems, must be l\ At every famous victory ! ' *• And I must knight the great John Bryce, Q And praise the good John Hall " •" Why ! they are hard oppressors both !" The Maori boy did bawl. *• Nay, nay, my little boy," qiioth he, " It was a famous victory !" "JBut was it not a wicked thing Our murphies to destroy ?" " You really have no right to ask, You naughty Maori boy, When Herald, Star, and Times agree It was a famous victory !" IV.— Skald Macatjlat sings :— Now glory to the noble "Force" from whom all victories are, And glory to the gallant Bryce, who waged this frightful war ; Now let there be the merry sound of bells' melodious chime, And puffs in all the servile Press throughout New Zealand's clime ! He stoops to conquer, lowly kneels, and rises iii a trice, And after Arthur's accolade, he stands as "Sir John BBrcE !" Bakon Bbtce of Parihaka I" Thus are honours strewed upon The head of oiir most worthy son— bold Wanganui John! Ho ! Squatters of Victoria, and likewise New South Wales ! Of bold O'Shanuassy and Parkes the fleeting lustre pales ; New Zealand hath a braver knight than any ye can show, Or the Spanish wight, whose windmill fight was famous long ago ! •Shout, all ye merry maidens, and strew the flowery buds, In honour of the hero of the " Battle of the Spuds !" .Since the " Battle of the Herrings "* was by doughty Falstaff won, 'The noblest name on the scroll of Fame is Wanganui John I ' . L'Envoi. O The latest bard has closed his lay, YN The last soft note has died away ; The new-made Knight now stands alone, |a~ An open scroll he looks upon, Ip* Whereon is traced, in fair device, pO The arms of the great house of Bryce. % These are the symbols in the shield : — A jpoafca in a " murphy " field, — A prison koy— a " special " gag— The cross-bones on a coal-black flag ;— And underneath this motto nice — •f" Je Brise 1" — (He thinks it means " John Bryce.") Here leave the hero of our story Alone with his great weight of glory : There to 'mature a deep intent To get the present Parliament To chew the legislative cud, v . And found an Order of the Spud ! ""!/■' • The Black Knight. Auckland, 11th. March, 1882. 1 *In authentic history, Sir John Falstaff is chiefly : for having defeated a French ; force carrying < a'sugply of fish to the besieged garrison of Orleans— the ' .engagement being known as "tho battle 1 of the her-; firings;" •It "was fought on the 14th February, l429; ■■■''. ; \^"fFrenehr- 1 break— shatter— shiver—smash to pieces, ' M^o^: : -/^-" /-'•'; V-v ■■■•■>■- ■•'.' •„;