WAIKATO WHISPERINGS

Observer, Volume 3, Issue 72, 28 January 1882, Page 310

WAIKATO WHISPERINGS

— The Te Awamutu saddler, Avho has taken up his residence in the " Athens " of Waikato, is already on the looL- out for a wife. Now's your time, ladies. — A story was current in Cambridge last Aveek that Granville had set on foot a subscription list, so as to defray his expenses in the late libel action. It is, however, not true. — The ladies of Cambridge (not the jams) are going to give their gentlemen friends a " hop " towards the end of the month, in return for the last calico ball. Ladies alone will have the privilege to engage partners. Won't we be in it ? — " Alas, poor Charley, I kne av him well." And who would have thought that Charles would have beeu guilty of such unwarrantable rashness. But he has gone and done it, notwithstanding, and the Cathedral bells of Hautapu joyfully announce the fact. — EdAvards, I hear, contemplates getting Somerville to take his photo, with the drum-major's hat on. A few dozen will necessarily have to be made, so as to supply the demand. The crowned heads of Africa will certainly be supplied with a copy each. — Wages for labour are getting Aery loav in this part of the country, especially about Te Awamutu. In that thriving township the owner of an hotel engaged a man for ten months at the rate of wages usually paid to criminals on hard labour at Mount Eden. — A gentleman of Gaelic descent, avlio is connected with the Hamilton journal, was observed to laugh the other morning when sitting down to breakfast. When Robert laughs at breakfast time— especially when there are no poached eggs knocking about — Mother Sbipton's prophecies cannot as yet be ignored with safety. — The approaching nuptials between Miss M. and the Doctor are authentically denied by popular clamour, but still more authentically confirmed by the friends of both parties. Indeed, the people are beginning to cry shame at the head of the firm to which the young bride in perspective belongs for thus passively submitting to such a defeat. — Mr J. P. Campbell was " had" properly the other night, when voting as a householder at a public meeting. The gallant Sergeant-Major (who, by-the-bye, seems to know everybody in the neighbourhood), objected to the man of oratory giving his vote or takingpart in the meeting, he being only a bachelor and a lodger, and not a house-holder. — Cotton, avlio always maintains his old dry and imperturbable see-what-it-is-to-be-a-bachelor disposition, continues to occupy, the dear little bed in the decidedly small room at the back end of his confessedly big office, and may be seen in the morning, with flowing locks and hanging braces, emptying the slop-pail and airing his blankets. Alas, poor Harry ! why not a hermit ? — Fred says he docs not mind in the slightest being put in the Observer, nor yet being called upon to take part in any musical performance in aid of any charitable institution, but positively objects to being called upon to share a duet with a man whose connubial propensities have made him a conspicuous object for the sarcasm of the Cambridge public. Rowe is of a like opinion, and objects to sing alongside a person of Fred's extreme sensitiveness. — R. D. SteAA-art, the man of angles, and bratlasher to tho Cambridge East School Committee, was presented with a silver(ed) casket by the pai'ents of the children, after an excruciating little entertainment in the Public Hall, on Saturday night last. — Scarcely had the Observer arrived in town on Friday night when the dreadful intelligence was whispered through the whole neighbourhood by nervous matrons, that wrath and indignation of a A\ r arlike character was effervescing from the object of some prominent pa whose matrimonial alliance had been betrayed to the public. I might say that the little fellow need not go to the trouble of " denying through the columns of the Observer," or of "making them publish an apology," as the said alliance was, if not an established and recognised fact, at least a desideratum, the ends of which were timely defeated. — It is curious to see how some people, who have been accused of being the correspondent of the Observbr here (Cambridge), have taken upon themselves to deny the fact, and it is wonderful what they will sometimes undergo when denying it, so as to make their accuser not believe what they say and still retain

his original conviction. One of the humans, who will bo known as J.F.E., and who is generally thought to be the guilty party, was the other day ignominiously dragged into the house of Mrs Somebody, in Duke-street, to answer the charge preferred against him. A young lady friend of mine, who was present, describes the scene as truly romantic. E. was shaking from head to foot, was commanded to sit down — a mandate which he instantly complied with — at the same time complimenting the enraged lady on the condition of the weather. " How dare you, sir, take upon yourself, sir, to bring matters in connection with my house into public notoriety, sir P" was the first question asked., and this was followed by sundry other ejaculations of a similar character ; each, from theh- emphatic nature, causing the white blood to tinkle to the cheeks of the caged delinquent. Answers and explanations were immediately forthcoming, but all that could be heard was sucli outbursts of astonishment as "My good lady," " Allow me," " Really, upon my word," " The fact of the matter is," " Now, look here," " Between you and I." But as tho good lady had made up her mind on having the unfortunate prisoner guilty whether he would or not, no further explanation was heard. No person in that house ever played '* Auld Lang Syne" of a Sunday morning, and why dare he (prisoner) to say so. Then a lengthy but decidedly more amicable confab ensued, which was of a more confidential nature, and in which the words "Johnson," " Christmas cake," "Piano," "Nuisance" Avere the most prolific. After the unfortunate youth had been in durance vile for about half-an-hour he was allowed his liberty, never having the courage to emphatically deny (without trying to leave an impression to the contrary) the ownership of the prominent little par. referred to.

— A very quiet — though in some respects a vory noisy — little social tea, bun, song, duet, and spooning assembly, got up by the followers of Mr Spurgeon, was held in the Oddfellows' Hall, Camoridge, on Monday evening last, the littlo crib being well stuffed with a fair number of both sexes. Through the generosity of Mr Houghton, sen., a plentiful supply of crockeryware was obtained, and the ladies took upon themselves the thankless task of providing the lions with an abundant repast. Everything having been eaten up, with the exception of the furniture and delfware, the musical part of the programme was immediately entered upon. Amidst the plaudits of the gentlemen and encomiums of the ladies, some human, struggling in the abyss between boyhood and manhood, with a very porcupine-like head of hair and saintly profile, set off to considerable advantage by a beard of seven hairs all told , ascended the platform, and took his seat at a very wheezy little harmonium, which sounded as if it had a bad cold. As my limited space prevented me from giving a detailed account of the proceedings, and as I indulged in an occasional snoro throughout the evening — probably brought on through the superfluous gorge at tea-time — I .vill confine myself to a few of the principal items. The duet which was rendered by Mr Rees and the musical young baker so completely cured my indigestion that I felt as if I could have given both two-and-sixpence each for an encore. But the spice of the evening was certainly the duet between Mrs Smerdon and a little girl named Annie Johnson, who promises to be a singer in time. Some bland-lookingyoung man seriously assured me that it was a high-class musical treat, and this opinion I myself Avould have maintained had I not been subjected to the cruel process Avhich followed. This consisted of what we were all given to understand was a quartette. The performers iv this tragedy were the Cambridge prima donna and the Trewheeler family. The accompanyist above described went off at a canter on the wrong note, aud Avhen tho signal for starting was given the deserted vocalists galloped off in pursuit, trying to catch up with the leading note, but evidently failed. The prima domia shortly got to the front, and. was raced well with the rising tenor ; but the man at the harmonium, who was bent on not being left behind, jumped aside of music, and came in first. This so completely excited my bad nature that, had I not been under a very strong moral restraint, I would certainly have demanded an explanation for what I had been subjected to. The president of the assembly charmed the ladies with his eloquence, and that synonym of womanly tenderness, Mr "Whytock, excited the sympathy of several elderly ladies, the man at the harmonium keeping np an incessant din, evidently bent on smashing the instrument from the opening of the evening to the close.