WALKA TO WHISPERINGS

Observer, Volume 3, Issue 68, 31 December 1881, Page 244

WALKA TO WHISPERINGS

— Miss F. is creating universal admiration with, her brilliant— very brilliant— Sunday evening costume. — Looking over Thursday's Waikato Times, I was pleased to notice a full report of the Cambridge Town Board meeting, held on Tuesday last, in wliich Tommy went for the would-be bletonist, Johnson, who, by-tlie-by, has gone in for trying to make himself popular at the expense of his colleagues, but for so far has adinh-ably succeeded in making himself tolerably ridiculous iv the eyes of the ratepayers. Not having turned out to a special meeting of the Board, this impersonation of eccentricity takes to writing to a local tripe wrax), that ekes_ out twice a week from some oblivious den in Victoria-street, and abuses his colleagues for daring to do anything without his direct sanction, and without his having delivered his usual course of bletherology on the merits and demerits of the step they were about to take. Of course, the worthy chairman, who sometimes comes in for an unusual lot of scurrilous comment (I mean officially, not personally), was determined to suppress the nuisance, or at least the practice of carrying on the business of the Board through a printing establishment, and, like a veritable politician, waxed eloquent on the matter, and gave his man as good a pummelling as was consistent with his gentlemanly etiquette. I hope he has succeeded in suppressing the practice in its infancy, and that, for the credit of the town and its rej>resentatives, such a proceeding will not be heard of again. — I do not belong to that class of humanity known as the nocturnal species, though confessedly I must say I have come in by the back window more than once in a time. Coining home the other morning from a crust-and-butter affair in Cambridge West I met some forlorn-looking good-for-nothing individual standing near Jack Arnold's, with a coat and vest over his arm in addition to his own rig. Being naturally of an inquisitive turn of mind, I thought I would go in for impersonating the great Doolan ; but as I could not contort my physiognomy, raise my shoulders, and assume the bull-dog looking aspect af that officer, I abandoned the idea. Anyhow, I watched and made inquiries, for certainly the gentleman looked suspicious. In a few minutes, what I understood to be an accomplice to this imaginary bloody deed came striding along and consulted with his friend. Both set-to at the pockets, and to my utter astonishment succeeded in fishing out a gold watch and chain. Then came papers, cheques, accounts, receipts, and pocket-books otJ libitum. They both then cleared round the corner, and I lost sight of them for ever. In a few hours later my landlady — philanthropic woman — tapped at my door, and with a sad expression in her motherly countenance announced the snd intelligence that the remains of a well-known person had been found in the vicinity of a butcher's shop down town. " Not murdered ! ' ' said lin astonishment, for I thought the butcher-man might have committed the deed and made sausage-meat of the unfortunate fellow. "Oh no," replied the good woman, "but he's known to be dead, anyhow." " Dead !" said I. " Yes, indeed — dead drunk," said the landlady. I dried my tears immediately, and hoped the poor fellow would be nothing the worse for his venture. — With very little reservation, the conversazione held in Cambridge last week, under the auspices of the members of ihe Presbyterian Church was a bis? success. Of course, if I am to believe what the Hamilton paper has got to say on the matter, everything was perfection ; but, being of an independent turn of mind myself — not like the representative of the above journal, who is ready to butter up everything for a complimentai-y ticket— l will speak freely as to what I think of it. The audience was a very attractive one certainly, inasmuch as it consisted of a goodly number of holiday-makers in their best attire, and among these I might particularise the bridesmaids of the big matrimonial event which came off that day. Had the committee had wisdom enough to see that the people came to enjoy themselves, instead of coming to be put asleep by the orations of a few verbose parsons, they would in all considerations, both for themselves and the audience, have dispensed with what the Revs. Mr Pulton and Mr Whylock had got to say. The former, a diminutive divine, with a large soul and a still larger heart, was apparently hard up for something to speak about, and consequently took to inviting his hearers to "love one another," yes, "love one another," and these few words, though it took him three-quarters of an hour to say them, were the sum and total of all he positively did say. A friend, who had fallen asleep on my shoulder after a gorge of strawberries (minus the cream), laconically observed to me on being aroused from his slumber :"" I say, have you got any change ? I want to put something on the plate." Gentlemen who take to speak at conversaziones, and who commence their discourses by remarking they are " going to be very brief," and before they have spoken half-a-dozen words go in for using the very deceptive expression, " In conclusion, ladies and gent'emen," when they contemplate rhyming for lurars, should be bound to time. Mr Whylock did his best under the circumstances, though he, too, could have shown more consideration for his hearers by being more brief and less verbose. Some individual went in for screwing a solo out of an untuned violin, to the great agony of all present, and to this truly obliging gentleman let me give a word of advice. When you learn to play, and when you know you play before an audience whose better nature it should be your object to sooth, instead of trying to rasp their feelings, then accept an invitation to play at an entertainment ; until then play in a paddock by yourself, and where there are no cattle near. The choruses were remarkably good; so was Mrs Fergusson's solo ; bnt the duet (vocal) would have went stronger with a little more practice. The final solo (instrumental) was a piece of capital music, the banker doing it justice.