TAURANGA JOTTINGS.

Observer, Volume 3, Issue 68, 31 December 1881, Page 254

TAURANGA JOTTINGS.

— Mrs O. intends to report Mr W. A. K. to Colonel Roberts for what lie showed her in the art gallery of the bazaar. Ask him about it. — The pilot boat took passengers from the May Queen at Is 6d per head, the watermen charging 2s 6d. — During one -week the "Buster" published 47 locals, leaders and long paragraphs, re the May Queen. — Sergeant White was in fine form at the Barn dance. He was the envy of all the younger men in the room. — Joe Sheppard has taken over Piercy's carting business, daughter and all. He will be shortly on view on the Strand driving his one-horse chaise. — The members of Mr Beattie's congregation are in a great state of perturbation over the approaching end of tho world and the arrival of the millenium, all of which is to occur before the end of the year. It will have to look sharp. — As an instance of Gr. V. Stewart's unquestionable superiority over his follow creatures, it is worthy of note that he was the only one who drank every toast at the Yatton spree. He sent three relays of excursionists under tho table, and tras as sober as a judge at the end of it. . — Mr W. Walmsley gave the " Buster 1 ' editor a most unmerciful slogging for clipping a par from the Observer re his hours of dining. He says he doesn't mind the Observer on account of the liberality of its proprietor to his institution. He says the "Buster" is the only paper on the Institute table for which the committee pay full vates, and that instead of poking fun at the time he takes his meals, they ought to congratulate him on having one to take. — The picnic at Yatton on Thursday was simply "gorgis." About 200 new and old chums were present. Crowded vehicles were running all day. Every one appeared to be in good spirits, in fact, a great many were in such good spirits that they I ■were unable to walk to the coaches. The bump of credulity in new chums must be abnormally developed. A young gentleman, whose veracity is unimpeachable, informs me that while showing some of the visitors over the grounds, they came upon a swarm of ferocious looking insects about three inches long — dragon flies I think you call them, they freqxient furze hedges. "When the new chums saw these, one of them asked, " Are those the mosquitoes wo have heard so much about ?" His guide and instructor assured him they were. "Is their bite dangerous ?" '' Very." "Do they attack anyone in the day time ?" " No, about dusk." That new chum went home before sundown. Another said he was informed aboard ship that all bananas consumed here were grown at Yatton. After asking his guide about every second tree he met, " Is that a banana?" they came to a fine blue gum about 60ft. high, with a smooth branchless stem for about 15ft. On the new climn observing that this must bo tlie banana, he was informed that it was. "Where do the fruit grow ?" "In the top." He was just preparing to shin up, when his instructor mercifully told him that there were "no fruit on the tree yet, it was too young." A number of cattle grazing on the Poeke run about two miles away, caught the observant eye of another new chum, when he instantly asked if they were buffalo ! Still another of them wouldn't bathe in the Waimapu for fear of alligators. But they were unanimous in their admiration of the Yatton estate. They couldn't say too much in praise of it. — A bazaar in aid of: the Wesleyan Church building fund was held in the Temperance Hall ] on Wednesday and Thursday. They were un- I fortunate in their choice of days, as Wednesday was wet, and Thursday was the day of the May Queen picnic. The hall was very prettily decorated, with a taking number of bannerettes and emblems left from the Masonic ball, mottos and evergreens from Mrs Alexander's ball, and sundry ■willow trees and other ornamental shrubs grown especially for the occasion. On Wednesday night there were about half-a-dozen outsiders present, and about 30 ladies and gentlemen connected ■with the stalls. This left an average of about five dear creatures, each with something to sell, to every unfortunate victim of the male persuasion. You can imagine what it was like. It was better on Thursday evening. There were a greater number of purchasers, and the ladies' attentions -were more divided. It was very slow though. There were no rallies, and the most desperate dissipation in the room was a spelling bee, in ■which the fair stallholders and a few gentleman, our postmaster, his assistant and one of our medicos took part. The three gentlemen named were, much to the disgrace of their sex, the first 'plucked.' There was the usual post-office swindle, which was badly managed. Fancy being followed round the room by an hysterical and by no means attractive youth, with "a letter j for sale, the price of which was limited to the moderate sum of a " tanner" — Anglice, sixpence. If some of the attractive young ladies who vended button-hole flowers, had only taken charge of the postal delivery, and charged in proportion, the returns from "this department would have shown more favourably. A word re these flowers. When the unfortunate six arrived, they were asking 5s a piece for them, a little later it was 2s 6d, and still later tho " six" were implored to purchase at any price from Gd to Id. The affair culminated m a concert on Friday night, which was well attended, and at which the music, etc., was firstclass. —What Mr Mark Twain, Esq., the eminent American historian, biographer and traveller has done for California, I am about to do for Tan- ! ranga. Strangers arriving here are continually i asking for some standard work to which they i might refer for information as to our great and illustrious men. Our politicians, writers, thinkers i have made a mark in the history of their country ■which is only equalled by the gloriously unapproachable position retained by Tauranga itself. He who writes for the amusement of the public i plays an important part in the economy of the xiniverse, as every one who smooths away a ■wrinkle from the brow of care, deserves the gratitude of mankind. But I natter myself I have a higher aim, the instruction and enlightenment of the human race. With this laudable end in view,

I have laboriously collected sufficient materials to justify me in proceeding with this work. It is the patient and exhaustive toil of the best years of my life. The authorities drawn on in the following studies of mankind are in the files of that most brilliant luminary of the southern hemisphere, that loadstone of our affections — The Bay of Plenty Times. The archives of the Tauranga police court, and last, but not least, the fertile imagination of their gifted author (I'm modest, very). The programme adopted is, first, to give the origin (if any) of the j>ersons noticed ; second, their occupation and important traits of character, and thirdly, their present and fut — , I moan past abode. The first gentleman I will treat of is Henry Longstaff Fovster, Esq., — nephew of his aunt. He admires the ladies, dotes on balls, and loves strawberries. A psychologist, whiskyologist, and theologist. Formerly of Newcastle-on-Tyne, now of Newcastle-on-the-hill. Edward Rose — son of a gun and a man of weight. He feeds the multitude, never does a loaf. A well bread floury h-orator, and tart thinker. Much kneaded by politics. Not of the land o' cakes, as lie was rose in Hingland. Richard Rhodes— father of President Rhodes, original male progenitor of Tom, Dick and Harry. Made his awl by his last. Late of the Thames and other places. Now of Tauranga. I might state for the information of my readers that he is not a mayor yet. (To be continued in our next.)