BRIEF MENTION

Observer, Volume 3, Issue 64, 3 December 1881, Page 188

BRIEF MENTION

IS'ew rendering of Paganini— Monk-a-ninny. JSoonan was not a noon 'un, but a night tin. Mr Brodie, M.B. P.— Member for the Big Pump. Eev. D. Bruce has retired from Eden. MeCullough having retired from the lhames, Sheehan is sure to whip Speight. Since that legacy came to J)r Bealc, there will not only be ale, but cakes also. Why was not Speight selected instead of Swanson to perform the " blowing" feat at the glassworks ? Superintendent Thomson is again at lus post. Burglars beware ! {i The hand of iron in the yelyet glove — the heavy poker in the hands of Mr Feather— c ! St. .Tames' choir give their first concert under Mr Culpan's leadership some time before Christmas. It 13 -whispered in Dunedin sporting circles that the Gamin? and Lotteries Bill is inoperative. Reflection for two Auckland drapers, who have been quarrelling over "salvage:" — "Behold how great a matter a small fire kindleth." Several rallies were got up in connection with the St. Matthew's Bazaar, but the Hon. Frederick refused a permit, and the money had to be returned. Anthony Trollope is writing a novel, which will appear in Black irootl, and he has completed the story for the Christmas number of the Graphic When old Stapp read the famous proclamation to Titokowaru, the latter coolly asked him for the loan of a sixpence wherewith to purchase a glass of rum. We do not require criticisms on small country choirs. Nobody expects anything wonderful from such sources. , There is no dispensary at St. Paul's— only a bottle of smelling salts for anyone who may faint during the hot weather. The other day a man, at the risk of his life, stopped a runaway horse attached to a buggy, and saved the vehicle from destruction. The grateful owner tendered him a whole sixpence. Mr G-annon is making the running for the East Coast election, but it is believed that he will split the votes with Locke, and allow Allan McDonald to slip in between them. There is not enough " go' 1 about the St. Matthew's girls. Several gentlemen boast of having been hi tho bazaar for hours without having spent a shilling. One of the toasts given at the launch of the Victor was "J. B. Russell, the founder of the Ferry Company— over the left," by Mr Quick. How these Devonportians love one another. The Crown Prince and Crown Princess of Denmark liave come into un enormous fortune of about £•3,000,000 by the death of Prince Frederick of the Netherlands'. Mr James O'Brien, who has appeared on the Melbourne stage as Mr Grattau, is earning golden opinions from the Victorian Press for his performance of Dolly's friend in " Betsy." A Taranaki correspondent says that if Te Wluti is defended by a lawyer there will be some startling revelations as to the land jobbery of certain Europeans in New Plymouth. It is reported that the estate of the late Captain Reid has been seriously entangled by imprudent investments, and that the trustees are likely to be subjected to protracted and costly litigation. Mr Peacock is exhibiting a number of new microscopes at a most opportune time. They will be useful in trying to discover the political honesty of some of the candidates for election to the General Assembly. It would have made a cat laugh to see a hirsute old legal beau one afternoon lately in Queen-street, seize another elderly buck by the arm and whisper into his ear " Let's go down the street and give the girls a treat." At a. certain public dinner table the other day the knotty point was discussed as to whether a gentleman who has merely liquidated should take precedence at a dinner table of one who filed a declaration of insolvency. Apropos of the arrest of Plummer, it may be mentioned that Sergeant Gamble some years ago received a handsome reward for his zeal and skill in connection with the detection of one of the distinguished Fred's little peccadilloes. On (It/, that a buxom widow, iti receipt of a clerical pension, will head the procession of dames from Mount Albert to Onehunga on licensing day, with Zepherina next in order. Oh, my '. Will the Licensing Commissianers be able to resist such attraction V President Arthur's troubles have begun. The New Orleans Democrat says he " owes it to the American people and to good tasi c to shave off his British whiskers." If a man isn't a patriot in his whiskers, where is he, you know V The real live personage who won a buna fide prize in Theodore Brown's sweep, and whose acquaintance a large number of people are dying to make, has not yet called at this office. This is the second time of asking. A Whangiirci correspondent communicates the important intelligence that B. B. (not the " Benicia Boy") has been promoted from Messrs E. Mitchelson's Auckland warehouse to the onerous position of special correspondent at that place for the Auckland Foul Libeller. At a French provincial theatre not long ago, a well-known baritone vocalist, while singing, by some mischance gave forth a fearful croak, which excited laughter and hisses in about equal proportion. Advancing to the footlights he said : " Ladies and gentlemen, — I have issued a false note. lat once withdraw it i'roni circulation." Clever chap, that ! " Romeo and Juliet " was performed in real life the other day at Sioux City, with an amply tragic denouement. The lowan Juliet, wishing to test lier lover's sincerity, pretended to take poison and die. Thereupon the Western Romeo, believing her to be really dead, poisoned himself in earnest, and quite as effectively as his prototype of Verona. The demon tin-kcttler does not always carry on his diabolical depredations with impunity. At one of the Waikato settlements, where a newty-married couple were subjected to this species of annoyance, the bridegroom made a sortie with a horsewhip, and laid about him with great vigor. Next night, however, the larrikins revenged themselves by plastering the house with mud. There are some people who regard the position of a candidate for Parliamentary honours as far from creditable. A Southland man named Luwson, who was announced in the Pres3 as a candidate, sent an indignantdenial, sarcastically remarking that he was particular as his company, and did not care to associate with " landsharks, Maori pakehas, and others." Ilerr Carl Schmitt once put to a coloured boy the question, "What is a discord:-" This was his reply : " A discord am a chord which is struck plump agin anudder chord which am not v discord, and dis chord an' dat chord makes discord, and then this chord makes a whole chord likewise an howsumever all by liisself." Evidently the teachers lot is not a happy one. A school teacher in one of the districts adjacent to Auckland had a little difficulty with a determined female the other day. He had inflicted corporeal punishment upon her young hopeful, and she went and challenged him to mortal combat. He chivalrously declined, and she ottered to do battle with any three of his sort. It is said that the Amazonian has the sympathy of the School Committee. The Quoit Club of the Auckland Fire Brigade propose to hold a competition about Christinas and to provide prizes for the members who will remain in town during the holidays. They therefore appeal to the public for subscriptions and donations. The following gentlemen have already presented prizes : Messrs J. and J. Dickey, a silver teapot ; Garlick and Crauwell, a pair of vases ; and others have promised to contribute. Scone in an Auckland boarding-house. — Professor to his Landlady : Well, madam, I am going to Jeavefyour liousc to-day. Landlady (furious) : What do

I hear you say ? You are going to leave my bouse ! ! What the dickens do you mean ? I'll let yon know that I never, no never, allow my boarders to leave ineif lean possibly help it. Professor : Ah ! Dat is very goot, but I cannot stay, yonr house does not suit me, and 1 am going to a more suitable place. Charming Widow {with wrath) : Thou liest, thou wretched foreigner, thou hast found greater charni3 elsewhere, false one. but go, yet stay ! Pay me 255, or not a stick do you take from my- house ! Professor : Ah yes, I'm a gentlemans, and Till pay what yon demand, but cannot more talk to you, as you are no lady. Pays the 25s and exit, leaving charming widow furious. The St. Matthew's people displayed tit thenBazaar in the Drill-shed the Scotch (?) motto : " Mony a inickle mak's a muckle." As "mickle" and "muckle" are merely different forms of the same wcrds, the nttempt to wheedle "bawbees" from "Sawney's" pocket by an appeal in his mother tongue had only the effect of producing a broad grin, and the remark — " Mony an Englishman mak's muddle " when he tries to quote Scotch. A Mongonui man writes to sny that ho lias no objection in life to being denounced as ii. " Boycot.ter," "Land Leaguer," or "Wild Irishman," but he draws the line at "Sainted Twin," in connection with Mr Robert W , of Mongonui. Some men are very fastidious. It reminds us of the Dutchman who didn't mind being kicked dowii stairs, or hearing his wife called an improper female, but became furious and dangerous when any reflections were cast upon the quality of his beer. Just as people were returning from church on Sunday morning, a large crowd had assembled at the corner of Victoria and Hobson-streets. We went to see what was the matter, and Mushed. A young woman, with a fawn-coloured dress, bare head, bootless and stockingless, and hair flowing with the breeze, was seen on the pinnacle of a cottage roof vainly endeavouring to throw water down a chimney about 10 yards distant, while a number of boys stood round and handed buckets up. The police were not there until all was over. Mr Martin Simonsen and his two daughters?, Leonora and Martina, were passengers by the last P. and O. boat from Melbourne to India. Madame and her youngest married daughter remain in Melbourne. It will interest, not a few people to know .that Mr J. S. Smith accompanies his father-in-law to India, and will act as his agent there. Mr Simonsen and daughters will give concerts in India, and hope to find their way to England, where Mr Simonsen will endeavour to engage fresh talent for the colonies. The fishing party "who the other day travelled in Ted Wales' 'name and obtained from host Odium, of the Swan, four shaudy-gaffe, had no luck. They started at 10 a.m. and returned at about 6 p.m. to the Swan, having caught 4 schimpper and 1 guernet, and after dividing them, hailed the Paruell 'bus whicli wan passing the Swan on its way to town. They chartered it for 2s to convey themselves and fish home. Gus Coates, seeing the bottom of another long sleever, declared the next time he went fishing, he would take with him luckier mates than Georuie Grey, Johnuy Hall, and Stubbing. It does seem a monstrous injustice that capitalists and storekeepers should not have additional votes on account of their cash in bank and goods in stock. Just fancy what an enormous stock is held by an Auckland draper — no, " not a draper " — but it's no matter! . After a. recent fire in his premises (confined to one window), not only was an immense cash purchase of the salvage made by another draper, but the non-draper also announced a clearing sale of ±7000 worth of slightly damaged goods. Clearly a man who has so much capital invested in such a way ought to have half-a-dozen votes — say one vote for each £5000. There is a newspaper proposal that the Insurance Companies should reward the poor man who got seriously burned while attempting to extinguish the recent fire at Linabury's. As this man was the direct cause of the fire, it is not to be wondered at that the insurance companies " fail to see in those lamps," and that in consequence the proposal has fallen rather flat. The suggestion, however, ought to meet with a response from Coombes and Linabury, who are making "capital" out of the fire, besides nwHng capital fun for the Philistines by their washing of dirty linen in public ! Conversation unavoidably overheard between two leading Pnrnellites on the racecourse: — B. "Did you hear what that Ensrlish ex-jockey said to a member of the Royal Family about former victories in his ' profession' at Home?" M. "Yes; and it only confirms what I have always thought and said, that the said individual was no ijrutlenian." li. "You are wrong there, M.; all real gentlemen from Home pnt on ' side' in talking; it shows good breeding and education, and, besides, it tells with Aucklanders, who appreciate a gentleman when they meet one." There are certain occasions in life when even such imperturbable visages as thut of one of "tho Devil's own" are unable to disguise their emotions. Such a circumstance took place this week at a prayer meeting held in Auckland. When n mini was engaged kneeling at his devotional exercises, some girls observed that there was a breach in a part of his unmentionables, through which n portion of his shirt tail protruded. The effect was electrical. The parson blamed the girls for their levity, but it is questionable if even he could have kept his gravity if he had been where the girls were and observed the same phenomenon. A rather foolishly-worded paragraph about the quarrel between the Herald and the 81 it? re watermen appeared in last issue. The writer wanted to be funny, but as sometimes happens with the best regulated jokers, he made a mess of it, and said the shipping reporter of the Herald was a butcher's tout, which, of course, isn't the case. What he meant to aver was that if the Herald folks didn't mind butcher's touts representing their paper, the Star had no reason to call out, but somehow he didn't say this. N.B. — We pity our paragraphist if the injured reporter happens to come within "cooey" of him. As Mr David Macfarlanc (better known as Dummy Macfarlane) was coming home from a, friend's house in Kyber Pass last Monday night, he was accosted by two policemen, who insisted on knowing what he was doing out at two o'clock in the morning. Getting no answer, one of the policemen put his hand on Dummy's shoulder, whereupon Dummy, who had a. good stick, thinking he was being stuck up, set-to and gave it to the bobbies right and left, until chey closed and threw him. When they struck a liirht they recognised him, and one of the policemen said, " Bedad, it will be a long while before I lay me hand on Dummy again." The way in -which the glamour of fashionable dance eavises people to wink at familiarities they would not tolerate under any other circumstances, says the Woman* Journal, is well illustrated by the following funny story : — A girl, while :it a London ball, strayed from the ball-room. Her mother subsequently discovered her in a remote nook with a gentleman, who had his arm around her waist, while she rested the tips of her pretty little fingers on his manly shoulder. "My dear, what's all this?" exclaimed the irate Minmiuii. " Mamma, allow me to introduce Captain K. to you. I had promised him to dance, but I was so tired I couldn't keep my word, and I'm just giving him a sitting-still waltz instead." Stanley, says " Atlas," in the World, is ill, dying, on' the banks of the great river which his intrepidity has done so much to reveal to the world. Whether we oall it the Congo, or the Lualaba, or the Livingstone, it is still Stanley's river, as much as the great pool which he sees from his tent door is " Stanley's Pool." It is close to this spot that his companion Pocock was drowned, towards the end of that great expedition across the Dark Continent, and already, therefore, a place of gloomy associations for the heroic explorer. It may be remembered, he adds, that Stanley promised, in his preface to his last work, a third volume, chiefly on the sport and natural history of the country he traversed. The notes for this work are all in existence; and I know, from personal perusal, that they would make both an interesting and valuable addition to his famous book. Says "Atlas," writing in the World oi September 2'ist "Young ladies, who, before adopting the profession of the stage, arc desirous of changing their names, cannot be too careful. A debutante thought it a clever thing to call herself Mdlle. Lena. She fancied in her artless Cockney way that there was a neat significance in it, for it was her especial pride to excel the immensely advertised Sarah in the matter of excessive slimness. I think it was her friend young Mr Fastpace of Trinity College, Oxford, who first disgusted her with her fancy by calling her attention to what the Latin dictionary had to say about ifc. Now I read in the New Zealand papers that a young actress has been starring in Nelson under the name of Miss Louise Beaxidet.

Perhaps if she. had known that this," is equivalent to Miss Louise Donkey she would have preferred to have remained xilain Jones or Smith, as the case may have been." A big burglary joke comes from Ptirnell. Some wag dressed a broomstick in old clothes and fixed the dummy against Mrs Crippen's window. Presently in the still watches of the night a rumour spread like wildfire that a burglary was being attempted. A small and excited crowd soon assembled outside the gate, and there sure enough was the figure of a man apparently engaged in gazing in at the window. Long they waited, but the supposed burglar did not move. At last one gentleman opened the gate and with the stealthy motion of a stage conspirator approached the villaiu. Then he discovered he had been sold., The dummy was left intact for the delectation of the next x>asser by. A similar trick was played upon Mr Bond. The vigorous manner in which the latter tackled the stuffed figure was worth seeing. Mr Eller, on returning to his home, found a burglar in his bed-room, and when he came back with a bull dog and a brace of revolvers he was disgusted to find that it was only a man of straw. " Puck " wires from Dunertin : — The opera season iiropcr concluded on Saturday with the aecond representation of "Mignon." The opera was excellently cast and dressed. Mrs Turner, in the title role, sang and acted better than at any time during the season. In the second act she sings a duet full of ornamentations, finishing on a cadenda written by Caron. Her splendid vocalisation sent the audience into ecstacies. She is capitally supported by her husband, Farley, Miss Denken, and Gordon. The opera drew two good houses, but, induced by letters in the Press, the management gave two extra performances at reduced prices. " Faust" did not draw, but the " Eose of Castille " had a good house. The company leave for Christchurch to-morrow. The Harts open at the Queen's to-night. VVilhehnj did an excellent business at luvercargill, an:! gives seven concerts here, commencing to-morrow.