THAMES TITTLE TATTLE

Observer, Volume II, Issue 47, 6 August 1881, Page 536

THAMES TITTLE TATTLE

— On dit that Mr W. does not care a button for a certain young lady. He merely submits to it out of goodnature. His real fancy seems to be the doctor's daughter. — Fred Weston, the energetic mining scribe of the " Morning Buster," narrowly escaped losing the number of his mess in the Alburnia claim a few days ago. — It is not true that Dick Harrison will take the character of theMidshipiniteinthenew "Pinafore" company, and the man who says he will, is — well, a perverter of the truth. — Jimmy Marshall intends taking private lessons in the mysteries of the Lancers, so as not to rely too much on his fair partner, as was the case the other evening. Bravo ! Jimmy ; go in and win. — Alf Vernon indignantly denies the report current to the eifect that he is engaged, and threatens to exterminate the next " feller " he hears mentioning his name in connection with such a grave subject. — Young Home made an awful mouth of it when proposing " The Ladies " at the Scottish banquet. Corporal Albie Alloin's first attempt at public speaking was a decided failure. The liquors were good, old man, were they not ? — Jack Gibbons felt so highly complimented at being suspected of being the local correspondent of the Observer that lie shouted drinks all round. Jeroboam (Baume) was also interrogated on the same subject. Poor little fellow ! — The amiable Clerk of the Court has a great aversion to canine animals, and the way he kicked Mick's bull-pup round the chamber iv Queen-street was a caution to snakes. Herbert became quite savage at the obstinacy of that 'ere animal. — Thames officialism is exercised lest Sir George Grey's Local Government Bill should bring about a merging of several counties into one. Hence county magnates are turning away from the Grey horse. Like Othello, their occupation would be gone. — As I predicted, the Shortland dancing class has at last collnpsed, and the unfortunate lady who inaugurated it has taken herself to fresh fields and pastures green, viz : Tauranga, where, it is to be hoped, she will have better luck than she. met with here. — Sam M., of the 'Tiser, is an adept at babyminding, and showed his capabilities in that direction on board the Kotoruahana the other day. He says he could nurse the Bank manager's baby for ever, nnd derive much enjoyment therefrom. Are you sure, Sam, that the baby was the attraction ? — The Rev. T. L. Davies has just performed a very charitable act which deserves cognizance. A poor family possessed an only cow which, getting bogged, died. The animal was their only means of support. Mr Davies, learning of their trouble, interested himself on their behalf, and, a few days ago, great was their joy at being the recipients of a cow in calf. — It is said that the Vivid stuck in the mud the other day because a certain county councillor was on board, and it was only out of mercy to a number of ratepayers, who were passengers, that a one-horse dray was taken to the rescue. The county man was not cast overboard to lighten the ship because there was no whale handy, although " sharks " were plentiful. —The biter bit. Turner placed treacle on the sheets of Home's bed at Captain W's; but Arthur discovered the trap in the nick of time, and changed bedclothes with the former who never dreamt the tables had been turned on him. The man with the prize bulldog flopped into the sheet and, immediately afterwards, howls, shrieks, and groans from his room were heard a mile off. — Severcl of the members of Mrs Alexander's quadrille assembly have behaved very shabbily towards that unfortunate lady by not auteing up their subscriptions, although requested to do so on a number of occasions. I am in possession of the names of these worthies, and shall forward them to you, Mr Editor, for publication in next issue if they do not stump up at once to the secretary. — Jim 8., a wealthy resident of that delightful suburb, Tararu, has, I hear, purchased the stately mansion just vacated by his brother, who has removed to Auckland, and his neighbours are rather anxious to know what his next move will be, although they can pretty well guess it. Jim is a bachelor at present. I trust that whatever selection he may make he may not bedonebroiuji. # — The jovial old buck who presides at the Registry office in Mary-street does not care about people thinking him above the prime of life, and it is said that his nervous system received quite a severe shock, you know, the other day, because a son of the Emerald Isle, who was procuring a marriage license, ventured the remark, " Begorra, sorr, you him die the pin (pen) foine for an old j;ia?i." Mr P. collapsed. — At the Scottish banquet the other evening I could npt help noticing that heterogeneous group of nationalities composed the noble army of " Scots :" English, Irish, and Russians, Welshmen, Italians, and Prussians, A Hebrew, a Dane, and a " Polish bear " Were all, as " Scotchmen," assembled there. They toasted " the Colonel," and buttered the Major, And drank " shandy -gall " as if in for a wager! — I wonder if "coming events cast their shadows before them." It was said some time ago that a certain orthodox parson on the Thames way likely to take unto his bosom the portly Mrs Hampson. Whether such an event will ever be consummated I trow not ; but as I walked up town one Saturday evening I noticed the portraits of the lady and gentleman exhibited in bold relief in a chemist's window, and so there must be something brewing in the aforesaid direction. " They would make a very good match," was thei remark of an onlooker. — The Observer was received at the Bank of New Zealand on Saturday last shortly before the hour of opening, and quite a rush was made for it by the officials, beardless George managing to obtain it first. In less than three minutes afterwards five clerks might have been seen rushing frantically through the building, and muttering maledictions loud and deep on the "in-, fernal sweep " who had had the audacity to report them in "that ribald sheet," the Observer. Ta, ta! boys. Keep cool, if possible. Revenge is sweet, so says Dick Peltus, and the correspondent is only six feet four in his stockings. — The Rink dance eventuated on Tuesday week last, but there were not so many present as on previous occasions. The members of the committee were conspicuous by their absence, which should not be. The music was very indifferent at first, but improved slightly during the evening. The floor was in anything but good trim, and I am afraid the three or four Auckland gentlemen who were present have returned to the provincial metropolis with but a poor opinion of the monthly dances in connection with the Rinking Club. Mr W. W. Gudgeon officiated as M.C. with fullest satisfaction. In spite of the disadvantages referred to above a very pleasant evening was spent, and it was admitted by all to have been the jolliest of the season. The married ladies, by staying away, gave the girls a show, an opportunity which of course was eagerly seized by the young sparks present to do a considerable amount of spooning ! Gelly couldn't quite manage to steer himself in the Lancers ; the way in which he endeavoured to smash that wall, every now and then, was disgraceful. What was the cause ? Miss Alice W. didn't kiss him. Miss Eva C's shallow attempts to attract re-Obsorvation wore rather amusing. She rather likes it. The gents from the city appeared to enjoy themselves thoroughly, and it is whispered that one, at least, of them has le!t his heart in the keeping of a certain Thames belle. Miss C — y, of the Block, has confided to a friend her firm belief that a radical change is required in the etiquette of Terpsichore. At the next dance she intends to assume the duties of a gentleman, so that the sterner sex may be shown how to do it. Turner, alas ! was not there, and rumour hath it that he pines in secret since the return of fair Miss to Auckland, .and will on no account re-onter society until the angelic creature again visits Quortzopolis. Miss Wolff, the belle of Tararu, appeared for the first time, and looked well in fashionable black. The same may be said of Mrs James Marshall.