THE Obserber.

Observer, Volume 2, Issue 39, 11 June 1881, Page 420

THE Obserber.

Saturday, June 11th, ISSI. Only last week we remarked that Sergeant Gamble would have his work cut out to defend tlic young girl dressmakers from being imposed upon by their employers in the drapery and millinery establishments of the city. Already these views have been verified, in fact we now desire to draw the Sergeant's attention to one or two little "dodges" which are being practised to evade the law, and which avc have accidentally become cognisant of. In one large establishment, where about twenty or thirty girls are employed, the printed rules have not been adhered to, a written copy (?) only having been hung up in their place. The Saturday half -holiday, according to these rules is allowed, but it is screwed out of the employes in another manner. They have to commence work half an hour earlier, and it is understood they must put up with as much grumbling as the "boss " likes to give vent to. In another work-room the girls have been tartly informed that "if they ever dare to mention anything about printed rules, they can take their hats and walk." That seems rather rough, doesn't it? The orders about opening the windows during working hours are only partially complied with. Some of the "bosses " declare they have got rheumatism, mumps, and neuralgia, andai-e going to have scarlet fever, so that, of course, none of the girls dare ask for a breath of fresh air. These hints ought to keep the Sergeant going for a week, and when he has set these little wrongs right we may possibly be able to tell him of a few more. -*» Since writing the above it has transpired that Sergeant Gamble, having failed to impress on the mistresses the necessity of adhering to the rules by kindly means, is going to try the effect of a few public prosecutions. Quite right ; the public want to know who these inconsiderate persons are. It may assist them in deciding which establishment to patronise and which to avert. — . » ■ An amusing story lias "been told us cvpro2)os of the article "An Aucklander's Love Letters," which appeared in last issue. It is averred that not long ago a gentleman who shall be nameless really did procure a book of the nature oi

the "Lovers Correspondent," and forwarded his inamorata a letter copied therefrom. Unfortunately for the swain his beloved possessed the same volume, and immediately recognising the plagiarism, replied as follows : " Dearest Tom, — For my answer see page (30 of ' The Lovers' Letter Writer ' ; it is the epistle next to yours. — Yours, etc., ANGELINA." When the lover turned up the letter he found itAvas an awful "rough" rejection.

Surely there must be something terribly rotten about onr pilot service when a large English barque like the Avona can come up the harbour and anchor oft' the wharf at seven o'clock in the evening without ever getting even a glimpse of a pilot. "We have had vessels bumped against the wharf, and many other queer things to suffer from old pilots, but do not recollect ever before having heard of such a case as this one. As luck would have it, the captain of the Avona, who is a clever man, knew the port and could do without a pilot ; but had he been a stranger, the result might have been very different. A regular gale was blowing, and if be had not risked running bis vessel up the harbour himself it is hard to say what the consequences might or might not have been. It is to be hoped the matter will be duly enquired into and somebody reprimanded.

Mr (self-clubbed " Professor ") Haselmayer is like all public performers "who are not in the first rank of their profession, very touchy and intolerant of criticism. Our comments last ■week, though by no means so severe as they righteously might have been, drove the unfortunate wizard literally "dancing mad," and brought him up to the office in a state that may be imagined, but cannot by any possibility be described. ' Tis ever thus Avith those en ter tamers whom the daily Press good-naturedly, but most injudiciously, " butter up." The fact is they get to look for fulsome praise as their right ; and when by chance an independent print ventures to tell the truth about the performance, their anger becomes both ludicrous and excessive. Mr Haselmayer has poured out the vials of his wrath upon us because we said his Pyscho was inferior to Maskelyne's. Well, we still maintain the point It may be (as Haselmayer asserts) that Maskelyne does not guarantee his automaton to win ahvays, "but, for all that, the fact remains that the London conjurer's Pyscho does win 99 games out of a 100. The Egyptian Hall Pyscho has beaten "Cavendish" and many of the best whist players in London, and we are game to bet Haselmayer a five pound note that during the years it has been on exhibition (playing two or more rubbers a-day) it hasn't lost a dozen games.

Some clergymen are always resenting anything like open, honest criticism of their conduct. If anything in their preaching or their practice, savours of absurdity or inconsistency, and is dealt with in a tone of bantering satire, they forthwith "talk at " the offender from the pulpit, or give him sacredotal cayenne by "praying at " him as a poor miserable sinner, who has been sitting upon the Lord's anointed. Thus, you perceive, they obtain sympathy from their flock by posing in the role of persecuted goody-goodies, and at the sametime gain ktcdos for a forgiving Christian spirit, as shown in their advising Providence, on behalf of the persecutors. They seem to consider the clerical cloth and cambric as talismans against all hostile comment. Now, it is not easy to perceive the common sense or fairness of this assumption. While it is a healthy public sentiment which pays respect to ministers of religion, and recognises their importance and value when they are deserving of such recognition, it is also a proper sentiment which impels to fearless criticism when such is merited. Of course these observations are of a general character, therefore it need hardly be assumed that the juvenile divines to whom we are about to refer will display any of that unchristian impatience of newspaper comment, indicated in the foregoing remarks.

There is a young minister whose estimate of Ms own importance is by no means of a diluted character, and whose back hair must give him a vast amount of trouble. A short time ago he delivered a "powerful" discourse on the value of time, and the sin and folly of wasting it dwelling especially on the fact that while human "beings were constantly in peril of perdition, every professing Christian should employ all the time possible in trying to compass his or her salvation. Now, from his " professed " standpoint this view is undoubtedly strictly correct and orthodox, because all clergymen tell us to " pass the time in fear and trembling " — not to indulge in "foolish talking and jesting," and so forth. Well, a few evenings after this "powerful" sermon was delivered an entertain-

ment was given in a small suburban church, at which the modest juvenile divine under notice assisted. In practical illustration of his pulpit theory about "redeeming the time, seeing the days are few and evil," he recited "The Little Vulgar Boy." Of course sensible laymen could not, and would not, be priggish enough to find fault with this excerpt from the " Ingoldsby Legends ;" but how about the harmony between the parson's sermon and his reading.

About the same time another entertainment of a similar character Avas held in connection with one of the Primitive Methodist institutions in Auckland, at which the minister also presided. Now, this sect, or most members of it, claim to be the very "ratherest" of the rather goodygoody sort of people. One of the most sidesplitting and mirth-provoking items in the programme was Mark Twain's description oi an orchestral fiasco. The showman is narrating with pictorial illustrations certain Scriptural events, and the band is supposed to play appropriate music. Amongst them is the parable of the Prodigal Son — a passage in sacred story which is always considered one of the most pathetic in the whole range of literature, whether sacred or profane. When the showman is exhibiting the descriptive picture the band strikes up " When Johnny Conies Marching Home." Again, in the scene purporting to show Our Saviour walking on the sea, the band plays, " A Life on the Ocean Wave." Of course, during the reading of this, there were screams of laughter from the pious audience, and everyone declares the allair to be a great success. Amen! Tresbien! Kapai ! Still some people {not of the " unco quid") say that, assuming the teaching of these divines on the sacred value of time to be real verities, nothing could be in worse taste, or more likely to create doubts of their sincerity, than to introduce a deliberate burlesque on Scripture narrative into a semi-religious entertainment. The reading of such pieces by laymen of pronounced liberal views would not be open to censure, but from parsons. Well, what about the sermon business ?

There is a young fellow going about Auckland just now who, although well dressed and gentlemanly in appearance, is a most dangerous and persistent "cadger." This worthy usually represents himself as having been on the stall' of the London Daily News, and as a first-class shorthand writer. He came to this oilice the other day and told a most piteous talo about having just arrivedf rom the Waikato, a\ hither he had tramped nearly all the way on foot. He said he had had nothing to eat for twenty-four hours, and that he hadn't the least idea where to go, what to do, or how to live. The yarn had .such an eli'ect on us that we absolutely forked out a pound, and fearing the offer of money might hurt "my gentleman's" feelings, tendered it to him wrapped up in an envelope. The avidity with which he snapped at the casli dissipated any doubts on this score, and next day our dawning suspicions were confirmed by learning that after diddling us out of the money lie visited the Star and told precisely the same story to MiLey*, who was also "bled" to some tune. Further investigations revealed the fact that Mr W. S. "Wilson had been several times "drawn" by him in a similar manner, and for all we know Messrs AVickhani and Brame may have been also victimized. To be humbugged in this way is enough to burk one's charitable impulses for ever and ever, and in the interests of the- truly deserving such "cadgers" should be ruthlessly exposed.

The following letter came to hand this morning, and, from the tenour of it, we can't help thinking that the person referred to is our friend the soi-disant Daily News reporter. If so, he had better "absquatulate" forthwith. "Cadging," when long continued, becomes vagrancy, and persistent vagrants are not infrequently rewarded with temj>orary board and lodgings at Her Most gracious Majesty's expense. Our correspondent writes:-— "A short time since, an individual in the garb and with the address of a gentleman, called on an old widow lady (who is endeavouring to eke out a precarious living by letting lodgings) with the ostensible object of ascertaining her terms, &c. He remained about half an hour, and during that time gave her a rough sketch of his past life. This history impressed Mrs so unfavourably that she hesitated whether to accept him «fe a lodger or not. The next day he was to have called again, "but he never turned up. A -week or so after-

wards he made his appearance about five p.m. This time he wasn't looking for lodgings, but simply "cadging." He had a most piteous tale to tell — how he had lost his appointment, spent all his money, had had nothing to eat for hours, &c. The old lady kindly invited him to partake of her evening meal, -which he did with much heartiness. After dinner he enlarged upon his destitute condition, and, saying he did not know where he was going to pass the night — asked the old lady to lend him eighteen-pence. 'No,' was the reply, 'I can't, because Ihavn't a farthing; but,' the kindly soul added, ' I am most distressed to see any one in such a position as you appear to be in, and if you can make yourself comfortable on the sofa in my drawing-room you are quite welcome to it.' lhe poverty-stricken gentleman cast a contemptuous glance at the article of furniture alluded to, .and replied, 'How could you expect a gentleman to sleep on that ?' Eventually he made himself scarce, and the old lady thought she had seen the last of him. The other night, however, she was awoke about one o'clock by a startling double knock at the door. Mrs dressed hurriedly, and on asking Avho was there, to her dismay found it was her friend the "cadger." When"' asked what he wanted he gave her through the keyhole another most pathetic account of his woes, and wound up by saying he was now prepared to take the sofa, if she would let him have it."

That "there is many a slip twixt. the cup and the lip " even when a woman happens to he on the very brink of matrimony may be gathered from the following story, which is as true as gospel if not truer. Some years ago a young lady, whom we will call Dora, fell in love with Daniel B. He reciprocated the passion, they "nynni-nynmed," and became engaged. In order to hasten the wedding, Daniel bought a nice little cottage, and the pair commenced to furnish it. One day Dan was alone there doing an odd job, when a lady called in. and asked if the cottage was for sale, as she wished to purchase one with the obect of letting lodgings. Daniel fell into conversation with her, and was so taken, either with her face or the scheme, or both that, forgetting his prior engagement, he proposed marriage. The lady promptly accepted him, and they were wedded forthwith. Next Sunday, when Dora went to church, she saw her faithless lover sitting in the pew before her with his new wife !

Well, time past, and Dora again fell in love. Again the passion was reciprocated, again she nyum-yumed with her sweetheart, and again they were engaged. The wedding was to take place this week ; and last Sunday the happy pair went out for a walk. They were strolling along quietly when suddenly and without a word of warning Dora fell down in a fit at her lovers feet. She was carried into the nearest house, and lies there still in a very precjuious condition. Of course the wedding is indefinitely put off.

The thirty shillings which Mr J. B. Russell had to pay for that night boat to the North Shore sometime ago has rankled in his gizzard, and the outcome of the affair is that we are to have a new ferry company, which promises to erect palatial waiting-rooms, provide magnifiboat accommodation, and carry us backwards and forwards at all hours of the night and day for rather less than nothing. The North Shore people are of course jixbilant. Eventually the two companies may, like the Kilkenny cats of old, kill each other ; but meanwhile they (the North Shorers) are sure to have a fine time. We must confess, however, that, looking at the scheme from a commonplace shareholder's point of view, we cannot exactly see where the dividends are to come from. It may suit Mr Heath (who is naturally anxious to provide himself with a billet) to state that the profits of the present company are prodigious, but there is literally nothing beyond his unsupported statement to prove the fact. The directors tell a very different story. They say the talk about gigantic profits is mere moonshine ; that they have run great risks and made hardly anything ; and that if they had insured their boats they would never have had a penny out of them. It may be noted, too, that though MiHeath's confidence in the future of the new company is considerable, it does not carry him to the length of investing any very large sum of money in the enterprise. Rumour certainly says he promises to take up 400 shares at £1 apiece, but, on the other hand, it is stated he requires to be guaranteed a three years engagement at £200 per annum. _ " Put into plain English then, Mr Heath invests £400, and makes absolutely certain of £600. We don't think we should mind doing that ourselves. But setting aside the question of the new company's paying, it seems -rather mean of the North Shore people to desert the servants who have served them well and faith-

fully for nine years. What have they really and truly got to complain of? They are not, we should imagine, all so unreasonable as Mr J. B. Kussell, who thinks he ought to he able to cart over about thirty people after midnight for a pound, or so mean as other folks we could name, who think one shilling and sixpence for a lady's, and two shillings and sixpence for a man a iceekly ticket exorbitant. One of the inducements held out by the new company is that they are going to reduce the fares. We are blessed if we can see how they will do it. The waiting rooms have always- been a grievance against the present directors. People don't seem to understand that the wharves— both at Auckland and the North Shore—are the property of the Harbour Board, and that the Ferry Company ain't permitted even to lock up the so-called waiting rooms at night. No wonder they are dirty, and like pigstyes, and that travellers are disgusted; but m common fairness cast the blame for this on the right persons' shoulders. It is positively a fact that the directors of the Ferry Company were about to petition the Harbour Board to erect iine new waiting rooms on both Avharves; but Snow an opposition has started they have given up the idea— and quite right too. Why should they find accommodation for travellers by opposition boats ? It is not very likely that many Auckland people will support this precious scheme, which is mainly the outcome of illfeeling. If the old one,' with its monopoly, has only just managed to exist how long is it reasonable to suppose the new one will last ?

We wonder if the following is a fact or otherwise ? Ihe irrepressible little G. heard of a party to he held at JRemuera His agonizing entreaties to be invited were crowned with suc° cess. He spent the interval between the receipt of the pasteboard and the hour of the party in going through a piece of pantomime. It consisted m mysteriously closing Ms left eye and carefully producing the "invite " from his pocket, with the remark, "See this ! friends of mine ; begged me to come to their hop and°ive them a reading • think I'll go and show them what elocution really is." On his way he was accompanied by a couple of casual acquaintances to Avhom, being desirous of "getting his voice in," he proposed some slight moistener at a convenient hostelry. The emotional excitement caused by his rehearsal reading necessitated a second edition of moistener. One of his companions.was somewhat waggish. Said he, '' Look here, old man, you're going to read to-night, why not take some of Gladstone's mixture with you?" "By Jove, I never thought of that. Here landlord, beat up an egg and mix up a big g l ass of sherry with it and put it in a small bottle." The elocutionary beverage was duly prepared, and G. departed with his friends and the bottle. Just before 4ns reading came on, he took a prolonged swig at the 'Gladstone mixture." The result was no less unexpected than unpleasant, and led to the belief that the landlord had, in a fit of abstraction, substituted for sherry a liquid of a much stronger kind. It was not G's fault, but his misfortune. Still, as the audience knew nothing of the cause, they were naturally a little surprised at the style of G's elocution.