THE BALLINTUBBER GRAMMAR AND HIGH SCHOOL CHARGES.

Observer, Volume 2, Issue 30, 9 April 1881, Page 318

THE BALLINTUBBER GRAMMAR AND HIGH SCHOOL CHARGES.

(To be said or sung. Air — " Jenny Jones.") My name is Tim Doolin, I'm in town for my schoolin* — I'm the clivirist pupil of Terence O'Shay ; For in my edicashun I lick all creashun. Excuse the "vulgarity" — hip, hip, hooray ! (Examination continued. ) "Tim Doolin, sir— Timothy Doolin, sir, by your lave. Sixteen years coom Christmas last, sir. Classical, sir — nivir in a Coort of Joostis (like this) afore, sir." "Do you knoAv the nature of an oath, mv lad?" m •> "Not in Latin, sir — bonus, bona, bonum." (Consultation amongst the Board.) "To your own knoAvledge, has the master over been absent from school during school hours ?" "Oh yis, sir ; but nivir without the consint ©f the boys. He AA-anst axed lave to go out for

half-an-hour to wash his hands. Thin there was a great argumintashun among the boys, which lashted for three liours an' a half, whin Mick Mm-phy proposed, and I seconded — That the master do now lave the room This was carried by a large ma — ma — (bonus, bona) majority. The minority (I think they call thim) wint out afore it was put to the wote. Thin the masthcr, wid tears of gratitude in his eyes, wint out." " Was disorganisation the result of his absence ?" " Oh, yis, sir, awful organisashun. Some of the boys strook out for a repooblick at wanst ; others said, in the words of Scripture, 'We will not have this man to boss over us.' Soom of thim lost thare mimiry altogether, an' forgot in that half-hour all they ever larnt. AVan fellow, O'Regan by name, that took foorst prize for histhree afore, got quite muddled like in his mind, an' said that Dan O'Connell was married to Queen Elizabeth by Bryan Baroo, Archbishop of Donnybrook, who landed in Auckland, New Zealand, wid Oliver Cromwell in ISSI. (Sensation.) Another chap, that Avas th' divil at ould Euclid, an' — by the x> ons asinonuii crassed into thoord form — was — (Left sitting.)