BRIEF MENTION

Observer, Volume 1, Issue 13, 11 December 1880, Page 111

BRIEF MENTION

— The oaks in the Domain, like Adam ami Eve, are producing leaves to cover their nakedness. — Ketten opens at the Theatre Royal on January 28th. — The new Dog Act is very hot. Can any of our worthy C.C.'a have an interest in the purveying business ? — Charlie Weightman went South per " Wanaka" on Tuesday. He will probably return with the Lydia Howarde troupe. — Is it true that about thirty or forty children belonging to the Industrial Home are unvacciuated ? — The friends of Mr. and Mrs. Stickley seem to think Mr. Harvey's career, at the Industrial Home, will be a short and a merry one. I'm sure I hope not. — The jolly parson of St. Thomas's has been to the Thames, and stipulated for the purchase of an organ for his church, at a cost of about £40. — The meeting at the Young Men's Kooms, on Saturday evening', was much interrupted by someone practising on a French horn in the room below. — What a number of esquires there must be Ngaruawahia. I notice no less than ten, and a captain, in the list of stewards for carrying out the local races. — Why don't Mr. Morley and some of these parsons who so strougly dissaprove of the Key. Geo. A. .Brown, challenge that gentleman to meet them for purposes of debate on a public platform P — Mr. Goldie, the curator of the Domain, compluins that as there is such a fuss made about trimming the oaks, their botanical name should be changed from qnercus to queer cusses. — Here is a nice note. — Dear Mr. Editor, can I claim any redress from a gentleman for obtaining love under false pretences ? Please answer next week, and oblige— Lotta. — Money is the root of all evil. The Rev. Mr. Snackonburg died before his quarter's salary was due, and the Wesleyans have, I am told, refused to pay it to his widow. — The willow at the Domain pond, in consequence of its proximity to the cricket ground and associations therewith, is continually heard weepingly to moan " "Well, I'm stumped." — During the absence of the incumbent of St. Sepulchre's, the Rev. F. Long will carry on his classes. This arrangement has given great satisfaction to the fair sex who attend them. Mr. Long is a general favourite. — Longuet, the French hair dresser, has procured, from either London or Paris (I don' t know which) a was bust of Mrs. Langtry, which he declares is a perfect likeness of that famous beauty. It will be on view in his window to-day (Saturday). — Hanlan and Trickett. — Weep not Australia, though thy hopes lie dead, Elias nobly hath avenged thy Ned ; Canadian David hath thy giant slain. May Laycock grasp the laurel lost, again ! — Mr. Leonard H. Bond gives a birthday party in the Temperance Hall on Friday evening. A large number of invitation cards, printed in gilt letters, have been issued, and the young people have been preparing their costumes during the week. — Mr. Geo. A. Brown is a model parson. He finished his sermon, and released his congregation at the early hour of 7.20 last Sunday evening. A fifty minutes' service during the bright and balmy evenings of summer is quiet long enough. Clerics who wont compromise in this way will be obliged to preach to the old folks solely. — Says the " .New York Herald " of October 12th: — " The manner in which a lot of Australian mail bags were hurried across the continent last week, reflects more credit upon the energy of the leading nation of the world than all the torchlight processions of both parties can hope to do." — A gilded youth was observed gazing in an abstracted manner on the great deep from the poop of an inward bound steamer the other day. When asked by a fellow passenger the nature of his thoughts, his languid reply was, " Well, I was just thinking what an awful lot of fishes must meet with a watery grave !" — Mr. Harvey, the new superintendant of the Indiistrial Home, is a very worthy man, and much attached to the Bishop. He finds it difficult, lam told, to get through many sentences without a reference to "his lordshrp," and is believed to utter more "my lord's " in 24 hours than any man in Axickland. — Cricket is allowed to be one of the healthiest games youth can indulge in. No gambling, no late hours, in fact, it is a game that engenders good feeling and fellowship, no matter where played and a good cricketer is like a good mason, welcomed by all classes. All materials for this thorough English game can be procured at Partridge and Woollains, Queen-street. — [Advt.] — Poor old Mr. Hayter is so painfully thinskinned that he can't stand even a little chaff. It makes him as vinegarey as his acetic acid, and more than twice as nasty. I fear, my friend, that much as you fancy yourself, you are not of the stuff of which the Fergusons and Jenner's were made. Depend upon it they could stand a joke, and knew better than to reply to a bit of friendly badinage with a coarse insult. — The "worst-disgusted" man in Auckland just now is Foley, the Hobson-street grocer. He made a long, rambling, and inconprehensible speech in St. Patrick's Cathedral last Sunday, and has been quite ignored by the Press. Everyone is being made acquainted with the grievance of the aspiring orator. He has certainly alarge area of tongue. — Shall we meet hereafter, is a question often asked. It is to be hoped we shall, arrayed in the traditional pair of wings, and " nothing more." Fancy Harry Eichmond, thus attired, saying, " Come on, boys, let's have cocktails all round." A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. Go and have your drink now, when the whiskey is good, and see the dear old boy in all his glory at the Nevada Hotel.— [Advt.] — There is an old adage " Much shall have more, and little shall have less," which has been beautifully exemplified in Auckland lately. Friends from the old country have sent books, for prizes, to the Board of Education, but none of these have found their way to the city schools. They have all been allotted to the Girls' High School and Grammar School. It is well to belong to the upper ten when your are a juvenile ; long holidays, easy work, plenty of prizes, and lots of soft sawder. But when you grow up, and go out into the world, perhaps those find it the plainest sailing who have been used to short holidays, hard work, no prizes, and plenty of caning. However, Jthe energetic master of the Wellesley-street school, has determined that this year, if possible, his pupils shall have prizes. For some weeks post he has been organizing an entertainment, to take place this evening in the Choral Hall, when some very clever recitations, and some part singing, under the direcsion of Mr. Cranwell, will be given by his pupils, in order to obtain funds to buy prizes.

— The Revs. McCallum, Runcinian, and carrick having fought a tringular duel at the last meetlng. ? . J resl >ytery, are now removing tlie venue of the strife to the columns of the Press. The subject, of course, is money— the root of all evil as they tell us. — Two small boys stood looking at a milk- ; man. They espied a quart and a half-pint measure. First small boy. "What's he got the big tin and the little tin for, Bill ?" Second small boy, " Well, I pity yer ignorance, if yer don't know that ; them's for mixin'. The little uns for puttin' in the milk, and the big uns for puttin' in the water." The small boy of the period is certainly advancing in knowledge. — The Artillery Band, whose moonlight excursion will be found advertised elsewhere, have been treated with scant courtesy by their younger brother, the No. 3 Band. No sooner did the Artillery Band decide on a night for its concert than the No. 3's chose the same evening for theirs, and this too, though the Artillery Band had given way to them the previous month. This doesn't sound at all nice or friendly. — Professor Swallow has finally parted with j Mr. Wilson. He stood the "eminent tenor's" airs and graces as long as he could, and even " took him to his heart again " after some very graceless behaviour. Last Saturday night, however, things came to a climax. It is not my business to enter into details, so I will merely state that the Professor has, from first to last, treated Wilson with the utmost kindness and generosity, and in return met with the strangest ingratitude. — How to get married and live on £300 a year, was a question very minutely gone into by the London Piwc?i some years ago, when dear old Albert Leech gave a sketch of a swell carrying home the roast mutton. All that is gone. Get married and live on half that amount when you can purchase clothing and drapery at moderate prices, on the weekly payment system, at the establishment of Munro and Milligan, Drapers and Clothiers, Karangahape Road, opposite Newton Post-office.— [Advt.3 [ — A gentleman, who understands the working of both the Industrial and the Pornell Orphan Home's, declares that the vermin trouble is nearly as bad in the one as the other. The authorities have tried ! all they know, but cannot get rid of it. Dr. Purchas said he would put the Industrial Home right in this respect in no time, but things are just as bad as ever. You see theory is one thing and practice quite another. Besides, a man cannot be expected to devote much attention to work for which he isn't paid. — At the Girls' High School, last week, the French master took the trouble to intercept a sheet of paper, which was being passed round the class, and which appeared to afford no slight amusement to the pupils. Imagine his astonishment when he found it to be a striking caricature of himself. The verses attached were not very complimentary either. Miss C, the artist and poetess, was rewarded for the trouble she had taken, with a task of four pages of poetry. — 0)1 clit that several young ladies have expressed their intention of availing themselves of the privileges granted by the extension of the franchise at St. James's Association and mean to become members of that body. It would be well for the members not to forget the fate of St. Thomas's Clas3, the only one which has hitherto tried the experiment. Within a few months from the date of its formation, the chairman married a leading lady member, and the blushing secretary led the pretty treasurer to the hymeneal altar. Other engagements followed, and the association "busted." — An occasional correspondent writes to me from the Thames to say, that there is a gentleman residing in the district who wears two New Zealand war medals. I think my friend must be muddling up things somehow. It is, of course, just possible that the Imperial Government, not knowing the officer had already received a medal might have sent him one, but I don't think it at all likely. Moreover, if such a mistake had occurred, the officer would at once have communicated either with one or both Governments on the subject. Methinks my correspondent will find tho medals are not for the same thing if he enquires further. I — Has any one in Aiickland a copy of Bennett's History of Australian Colonization, published some years since in Sydney ? I remember reading in it a rather odd accoimt of, I think it was Governor Collins* arrival in Hobart Town in the early times. It seems he landed totally unexpected and unattended, and walked up towards the town. The day being very hot he divested himself of his coat, and marched on in his shirt sleeves, with it hung over his arm. He walked in through, the open door of the first house he arrived at, and sitting down, proceeded to mop his brow and enquire for a drink, at the same time announcing, "I am the new Governor !" We did at least give Sir Arthur a better acception than that. —K. is one of those jolly dogs who do lots of "flying round" and see plenty of "life." The other evening he paid a visit to a lady who lives in a large house in Upper Street, and spent rather a good time in her company. She occupied part of the time working at a pair of well, an article of feminine underclothing, which K. proceeded to investigate and admire. After his departure she discovered that tho piece of underclothing was missing, and as K. is rather notorious for lifting little things of this kind, she vows that he took it, and threatens that unless it is returned she will advertise the affair fully in the papers, giving his name and her own too. It is hoped that this hint will prevent an expose". — A Christmas tree is in preparation for the scholars of All Saint's Sunday-school, Ponsonby. A tree so large, and so magnificently decorated that the requisites for a small bazaar might be taken from its branches. The teachers, under the able leadership of the lady superintendent, have worked and begged with a will, and all who take an interest in the labours of the Sunday-school will do well to pay a visit to All Saint's school-room on the evening of the 15th inst. The Sunday scholars will be served first, and afterwards all the other young people attending will be entitled to a gift from the tree. Beautifully dressed dolls, albums, embroidered aprons, knives, scent bottles, desks, &c, &c, can there be procured for the small sum of 6d. — As a hint for the uninitiated, I will record a little incident which happened last week. A gentleman, who (for some reason of his own) wished to obtain a certificate of the birth of his son, proceeded to the Registrar's Office with that end in view. "What year," asked the official. "Oh! I think it was 1865," said the father. The registrar turned over his book for a few minutes, but finally said, "It is not here." " Possibly," suggested the father, "it was the previous year !" The book was opened again, and the record of the birth duly found. The surprise of the applicant can, however, be better imagined than described when he discovered that he would have to pay 2s. 6d. for his mistake in giving the wrong year, as well as a like sum for the more successful guess. — "Constant Reader" (Newmarket) wants to know whether there is any recognised degree of A.A. (Associate of Arts). No, certainly not. It merely signifies that the person who uses it passed, when a boy, the Oxford Local Examination for lads between 15 and 19. There are any number of young fellows in Auckland (I know two in one office) who hold the A.A. card. They would, however, as soon think of attaching A.S.S. I to their names as A.A. The fact of the matter is that the Oxford Local Examination is absurdly easy, and no one but an ignoramus would ever make a boast of passing it. What should you think of a Board of Education teacher who, after pulling through the initiatory examination, placed A.B.E. (Associate of the Board of Education) after his name ? The conduct of such a one would be no more remarkable than that of the man who styles himself A.A. persistently. But some people will do anything for notoriety. — A couple of enthusiastic young men, holding good situations in Taurauga,"whose minds, were says the Bay of Plenty Times, fired by the reports they heard about the fortunes to be made by gold-digging at Te Aroha, threw up their posts the other day, and started for this East Coast El Dorado. On roachinff Clark's hotel they felt considerably knocked up, and after taking a survey of the formidable Katikati ranges, which had to be crossed, they thought better of it, and reflecting that " a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush," came to the conclusion that there are worse places in the world than Tauranga. The young men returned to town yesterday thoroughly disgusted with the difficulties of commencing gold-digging, and resumed their plodding life again to-day. Our young friends will hardly try their hands at gold-digging for some time to come.

— The reported marriage of young S. will not take place after all. — A large number of Tauranga and Katikati folks have gone to To Arolia. — Captain Best is at Maketu, making investigations with a view to improving the harbour. — Shelly Beach, Ponsonby, is becoming a fashionable Sunday afternoon promenade. — Jim Russell, the toll collector, drew the "Imp" in Mick Gallagher's sailing boat sweep. — Mr. Stafford was gorgeously got up for the occasion last Saturday afternoon. — Mr. J. F. Buddie, of Tauranga, made his first appearance in the role of auctioneer on Saturday last. — It is said that the perambulator, which was lost from the Domain the other day, was wheeled off by a family man in a fit of absent mindedness. — Why doesn't Garrard go to the Te Arolia Goldfields ? There is plenty of work for the old man and his followers now. — Captain Mackenzie Wilson, of the Auckland Hospital, is said to be a cousin of the Eight Hon. W. E. Gladstone. — I had a look through the Hospital library the other day, and it is really creditable to Captain ■Wilson. A few books would be very acceptable. — Mr. and Mrs. F. J. Bennet gave a very pleasant party to the teachers of St. Andrew's Sunday school the other evening. — Five hundred tons of kauri gum Avere received in Auckland from up country settlements during the month of November. The estimated value is £20,000. — A further rise of £5 per ton in East Coast, and £2 per ton in Whangarei gum is reported. Tho prospects of the diggers for a Christmas spell are looking lip. — The cheer Paddy Doran endeavoured to raise on the occasion of the " Taniwha's" departure was a most melancholy failure. One small boy gave a melancholy squeal (?) and a drunken man bawled " hurroo." — Can it be true that an impecunious new comer not long since obtained a temporary loan from one of the local banks by depositing his watch, chain, and fowling-piece ? — Here is a tantalizing item of information for those who are victims of next door neighbours with musical aspirations. " The police of Weimar, Germany, have threatened to impose a fine of two mnrks uj>on any one playing the piano with open windows." — What is the amount of a " king's ransom ?" I ask because a country correspondent writes — "-Mr. Observer : Sir, — Your paper is worth a king's ransom to us who are exiles from the busy haunts of men. It is better than twenty letters from private correspondents." — Mr. Robinson, the absconding debtor is, I hear on very good authority, at Fiji. A barmaid, recently arrived in Auckland, met him there, in fact he borrowed four or five pounds from her to take him from levuka to some other island of the group. — It is understood that at an early date Mr. Herbert Brook, A.A., (Associate of Arts) will repeat his charming autobiographical sketch, entitled " The OneLegged Goose." I notice, by the way, that people don't seem to understand why Mr. Brook calls himself onelegged. — It cannot be said that the Auckland folks are very enthusiastic. Notwithstanding all the trouble gone to by the Yacht Club, in arranging for a suitable display on the departure of the "Taniwha" for Melbourne, not an effort was made to raise a cheer when the procession passed the wharf. — The Patriot's Journal is defunct. The Auckland people did not want it nor its republican teachings. The proprietors say they would have met with a different fate had they published their journal in Paris. Yes ! without doubt they would have been in prison. — All observers, in going along Queen-street, will notice many things of interest and wonder. Amongst the very remarkable may be seen a display of boys' knickerbocker suits, marked 3s. 6d., at the shop of T. McMaster. — [Advt.j — The Harbour Board might add considerably to the revenue they derive from their white elephant, the Graving Dock, by allowing it to be used as a swimming bath. On the rare occasion of a vessel being in the dock, bathers would see her masts and content themselves with fresh water for that day. — At the Newmarket concert, the other night, one of the admirers of Mr. H. C. Brook, A. A., seemed to think that he had taken my advice, and disposed of the second A.for two_ " S's,"as the bouquet with which he was honoured consisted of neither violets nor roses, but of turnips. N.B.— The Star's report of the concert did not mention this fact. — A contributor informs me, that at the meeting of the Presbytery, on Wednesday week, language was used of a very improper description. Some of the rev. gentlemen, forgetting the axiom of Dr. Watts, began to revile each other in no measured terms, ill fact, had the conversation taken place in a club, those concerned would inevitably have suffered expulsion. — The San Francisco Wasp contains the following notice: — "No political or other immoral advertisements inserted in this paper." The proprietor of the Obsebveb. begs to inform the politicians of New Zealand that he does not consider political advertisements immoral, per se, and that he will insert as many as — are paid for 1 . — Scene : Drapery establishment in Queenstreet. Lady customer to saleswoman (after having made her purchases) : " Oh, Miss • was ' you at the circus ?" Saleswoman : " Yes, I • were,' and it was jest the awfullest nicest thing ever I saw in my life." A young man, selecting a scarf at the same counter, is seen to put his hand over his mouth and run out sniggering. — "Mr. Des Voeux," says Life, "who has just gone out to govern Fiji, did not derive unmixed enjoyment from his appointment. He had already been appointed Governor of the Bahamas, and had bought an elaborate outfit, very little of which will be of any use to him ill Fiji. He has a very difficult task, too, before him in Fiji, where there are a heap of troubles for a Governor to contend with, including natives and missionaries." — It is whispered that Mr. Coster, the manager of the Bank of New Zealand, at Christchurch, is about to retire from the cares of business, and will be succeeded by a gentleman, at present in charge of the Newcastle, N.S.W., branch. Mr. Coster's recent visit to Auckland was made, I hear, with a view of arranging matters with the N.Z. Shipping Company, in which he is largely interested. — "Who dare this pair of boots displace, must meet Bombastes face to face, thus do I challenge all the human race." The vain glorious general,! who made the boast, was not aware that the trotter cases in question were made at an establishment somewhat similar |to that of Messrs. Garrett Bros., Wakefieldstreet, who can defy all competition as regards material, make, and workmanship.— [Advt.] — If my correspondents are to be believed more than one "boss" dressmaker in town requires reminding of the provisions of the Factory Act relative to keeping girls after hours. In one instance, lam informed, some girls were kept sewingfrom 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. without even an opportunity of procuring anything in the way of refreshment. A hint is as good as a more pronounced warning to sensible folks, and I trust I shall not be obliged to name anynames. " Nuff sed ?" — The ladies of Auckland are warm supporters of the Obsebvfk, and convey to us a large amount of valuable news. We wish to give them a word of advice and information which may be to their advantage. During the coming holidays wear cool light costumes, which may be had at T. McMaster's at ss. each; also light lace and cashmere capes, and pretty fashionable holiday hats, which, may be had cheap at the same place.

— For a beautiful piece of moralising, commend me to the following, which actually occurred at the Thames. Two diggers, very drunk, were talking together. One began to inveigh against the scarcity of money,nnd the impossibility of obtaining another nip, when he was interrupted by the other, who said, " No, I tell you what Bill, it's not (hie) the sanguinary fhicl money as we (hie) wants, it's not the sanguinary (hie) liquor as we wants (hie) but it's more (hie) sanguinary friendship." — A jolly young fellow, well known in Tauranga, being temporarily smitten with an attack of " cacoethes scribendi," sat down and wrote an account of a holiday ride from Tauranga to for the " Bay of Plenty Times." It was all very nice and would have been pleasant enough reading for everyone, but for a luckless reference, about five lines long, to certain gambling rumours in connection with a country hotel. When the "boss" of the said hotel read of the alleged rumours his blood boiled, and armed with a thick stick he set off in search of the sinner. Entering the store where the youth was employed, he threatened to clout him and poured forth such a torrent of abuse as has seldom been henrd even in Tauranga. The miscreant instead of looking sorry, folded his arms and listened coolly. He says he was tinder no apprehension of being attacked, and thought ho had better let the man talk his talk out. So the hotelkeeper did talk his talk out, and then not liking the youth's determined attitude— sloped "Science in the last few years," says the "New Orleans Times," "has gained a terrible foothold in this world. It has rattled the dry bones of old fogyism, made pi out of worn-out theories, upset ideas which have been established for centuries. The latest and most astonishing fact that has been developed is that there is a scientific mode of kissing. The day when a young man could, grab a girl around the neck and gobble a kiss in a rough but comfortable manner is past. The time when he could circle her waist with one arm, and get his shirt-bosom full of hair oil, and pirouette his lips over every square inch of her countenance, is no more. Science has proclaimed against it, and man shudders, but remains silent. The old style of kissing, which sounds like some one tearing a clapboard off a smoke house, is now considered bad taste, and consequently is | rapidly going out of fashion, although the majority of girls admit that science has cruelly destroyed all the comfort of a long-lingering heart-thrilling kiss, and causes them to express no little regret at the change. The improved scientific method of kissing is to throw the right arm languidly around the fair one's shoulder, tilt her chin up with the left hand until her nose is pointed at an angle of forty-five degrees, or rather until it has an aspect resembling the bowsprit of a clipperbuilt sloop, then stoop slowly and graze about her lips in a quiet, subdued sort of way, tickle her nose with yoiir moustache until Bhe cries "Ouch!" This is scientific kissing, but there is no consolation in it. It is flat, lukewarm ; it lacks substance, and if not stale is at least unprofitable."