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Observer, Volume 1, Issue 13, 11 December 1880, Page 110

I see Mr. Arthur Collins has been requisitioned to contest the seat in the House of Representatives caused by the death of Major Richmond, one of the Nelson members. Mr. Collins has already had the doubtful honour of affixing M.H.R. to his name, and when formerly in the House he was a strong and amusing opponent of the Fox Government. Mr. Fox frequently twitted him with assuming the role of leader of the Opposition. On one occasion Mr. Collins concluded one of his tirades against the Government, by saying that he was not at all ambitious of office, but was simply endeavouring to do his duty in that state of life to which Providence had been pleased to call him. Mr. Fox immediately rejoined that he was pleased to find the hon. member had not forgotten his catechism, as he would no doubt remember the sentence coming after the one he had just quoted, which was also singularly applicable to the position and the hon. member. It was, "My good child, know this ; thou art not able to do these things of thyself."

Those who visited the circus will, of course, recollect that one of the best things of the clown is his sudden seizure by fits. For these fits there is only one remedy, and that is brandy. He is liberally supplied with it till the bottle is exhausted, when he exclaims dramatically, "No more brandy? then there's no more fits !" It may seem somewhat irreverent to compare a down (with a churchwarden, but the following facts, for the absolute truth of which I am able to vouch, at once suggested the comparison. A short time ago the visits of a certain gentleman to a wellknown organist were of daily occurrence, and he was regaled during these visits with the choicest liqueurs. The harmony between the two was beautiful to witness The elder agreed with the views of the organist in every particular. At last the latter thought he would like to discover whether the frequent visits Avere caused by a love for himself, or an affection for his wine, so the next time there was no wine proffered. The visit was brief. * nother visit: no wine : visit shorter. Another visit: no wine : visit shorter still. Then the visits ceased entirely, and two or three weeks after the pair had a row. Of course this may be merely a coincidence, but it looks very much like "No more wine? then there's no more visits !" Some months ago a young gentleman, blessed with a fascinating exterior and agreeable manners, arrived in Auckland. He put up at a fashionable hotel, and making acquaintances rapidly, soon found his way into the dovecots of Parnell and Remuera. Amongst other houses Brown (I will call him Brown, though his name was something very different) visited at the Blank's and was made a great deal of by the ladies of that exclusive coterie. He gave out that he belonged to a good county family in England, and had great expectations, and as his money appeared to be plentiful no one doubted him. By-and-byc Brown began to make violent love to Araminta Matilda, the joy and pride of her father's heart. His passion was returned, and all for a time went well. " Love took up the glass of time, and turned it in his glowing hands. E verymoment lightly shaken ran itself in golden strands.' At length there came a day when another stranger visited Parnell and Remuera, at the sight of whom poor Brown turned pale as death. He said not a word, but quietly .slipped away, and that night left for Sydney. By-and-bye it all leaked out. Brown was not Brown at all, but an absconding bank clerk, who, after marrying a girl with £1500 had collared her money and bolted. The matter has been kept very quiet, in fact not more than half-a-dozen people in Auckland know the truth, but nevertheless this is a veracious narrative.