RHYMES FOR THE TIMES.

Observer, Volume 1, Issue 4, 9 October 1880, Page 30

RHYMES FOR THE TIMES. RHYMES FOR THE TIMES.

REFLECTIONS ON COMPULSORY EDUCATION, BY WILLIAM SMUGGINS, Larrikin. Coinpuls'ry ecldication! whew! 'eres a rummy go! And they'll run us in with bobbies! golly! not for Joe! "Why ain't we British subjects ? ain't this country free ? Don't the bleeding Constitootion pertect onr liberty ? "Wot's the good of eddication, readin', writin', and that? "Will it fill a henipty belly ? make a 'ungry feller fat P And if yer eddicate us in that 'ere swellish way, "Who's a goin' to sile is fingers for five bob a day ? There's a kind of eddication that I've no objection to — That's a easy Gov'ment billet with a werry 'ansome screw. And I'd like to get a lesson how them sal'ries is draw'd By Eice, and them 'ere swell coves on the Eddication Board. If yer can teach Bill Snraggins to perform that little feat, Yer needn't send a bobby for to nab 'im in the street. But that 'ere eddication what don't fill a covey's belly — "Why, I'd rather buy a pistule, and go and be a Kelly. If yer 'ot on eddication, and yer want to do it thorough, Go and eddicate them coveys you've elected for the borough. Send the bobby round to nab em, and lug 'em to the station, And give them blokes a trifle of compuls'ry eddication. S* AN "AT-HOME " IN CAMBRIDGE. I'll sing you a song which shall not be too long, And perhaps it won't be very witty; But pray pay attention, 'tis no invention,— So now I'll begin my ditty. In days of renown, in Cambridge town, Dwelt a couple of (no) notoriety, Who, once in September, were suddenly seized With a wish to get into society. Here let it be whispered, but "under the rose," This pair kept a store, and sold soap. Boots, shoes, and stockings, shirts, candles, and nails. No grea^ harm in that, though, I hope. Trade having flourished —money not scaree — Living in peace and sobriety, — 'Twas natural they a great effort should make, Which was—to get into society.

" How slxall we manage it, Thomas, my dear," Said the wife of his buzzum to he. "We must make a push, for, consider, my love, You sit on the bench as J.P." " We needn't spend much, for you know in the storeWe've endless things in variety ; I'll give an ' At-Home/ in the Public Hall, And thus take my stand in society." "An " At-Home" it shall be, in grandiose style No leader of fashion could beat ; For surely a lady who dresses like me May be looked on as quite the elite.' Her " hub " at these words looked somewhat aghast ;. But agreed with them soon in entirety — "So be it, old woman, the thing shall be done • As a stepping-stone into society." Invitations were issued — the Hall was engaged— And so was the band for that matter ; Ball-dresses were purchased, and so were dress-coats— A scarcity, though, of the latter. This coming event so filled people's heads It quite interfered with their piety ; At home or abroad, naught but the At-Home Was talked of in Cambridge society. At last the night came — calm, bright, and serene ; Carriages ordered at Two ; Brave men and fair women — the mixture was great ? The choir, too, mustered a few. Tea, coffee, act libitum — refreshments as well ; All arrangements in perfect propriety j The hostess and host cried aloud in their hearts: "Ah ! now we shall get into society." The guests were received by the J.P. himself-— A proud man was Thomas that day ; My lady beyond on a couch sat in state, In costume of faultless array. So with music and dancing the hours passed on All so proper, and no inebriety ; The company, of course, being considered select, And only the nobs of society. One hundred and forty in number were there, All fine samples of breeding and ton ; And Thomas and wife grew six-inches that night As they gazed that assembly upon. Well, all things must end — so must an At-Home— No matter what cause of anxiety ; Fifty years hence we'll be all dead and gone, Forgotten by Cambridge society.