BRIEF MENTION

Observer, Volume 1, Issue 3, 2 October 1880, Page 20

BRIEF MENTION

Garrard says " there ARE not an independent paper in Auckland ; no, not one !" Poor man. — Joe Leonard, the sporting draper, was a passenger from Napier by the Rotorua. — The tickets for the winding-up Rink Ball have not by any means been rushed for. — Mr. Burke has been appointed Sheriff's Bailiff. — " Te Witty" wants to know if a char-aid (charade) is an inferior sort of char-woman ? — The Cheeseman family are looking out for "Quiz." — The advance-agent of Cole's Circus has secured the services of Mr. Sanders, the Homoeopathic chemist, as riding master. — Harry Cornford, the rising barrister, came up from Napier by the Rotorua, on important business. — Willie Oldham has returned from Napier, bringing a blushing bride with him. Bless you, my children ! Bless you ! — Another of Billy Robinson's good customers gone. Jim Halyday left for Sydney in the Rotorua. — Mr. Masters, formerly of the Thames Pyrites Works, is now conducting smelting works in New South Wales. — That charming little actress, Maggie Knight, is expected over here on a A'isit to her papa and mamma. — The Thames Naval Brigade are expected to take part in the review to be held at Ellerslie, on the Prince of Wales' Birthday. — Coal and manganese have been discovered I at Waiuku ; biit the residents have not the energy to dig down. ! — The coal discovered at Cabbage Bay is stated to be the best yet found in the North Island. — Over 400 working men have left Auckland for Australia during the past four weeks. Most of them are en route to Teniora. — Old Lodge has gone into new lodgings. Let us hope the change may prove beneficial ■ o his temper. — Elder Batt -may be interested to hear that Mormon missionaries have been expelled from Germany. — Elder Sorenson says that " when a man puts on the garment of the Mormon faith, all his wickedness evaporates." — Three members of the Auckland City School Committee were present at the re-union of Dancing Classes in the Choral Hall. — The Eden Dancing Class purposes holding a b='ll in the Masonic Hall, Newton, on the •evening of the Prince of Wales' Birthday. — The young assistant-curate, whom the parishioners of St. Thomas' say they_ won't have at any price, was successfully ordained at St. Matthew's last Sunday. — The members of the Engineer Band are much riled at the remarks made on their late performance by the critic of the "Muse." They think him a very Ca(i)llous fellow. — Miss Hannah Gardiner is to be married on the 7th of October, to Ted Volins, brother of Bill Volins, the grocer in Parnell. Mr. and Mrs. Volins go to Sydney for the honeymoon. — Two thousand pounds was the sum at which the goodwill of the Victoria Hotel was valued. Oh, dear ! Oh, dear ! what a pity the purchase fell through. — A young Irishman, employed in one of the principle clothing stores in Auckland, has made the astounding discovery that pith helmets are not made of cork. — The Rev. R. Burrows left here by the Rotorua, to go to the Melbourne Exhibition. He deserves a holiday, as he is one of the hardest- working parsons in Auckland. — Mr. D. B. Hindle has returned from a trip to Europe, bringing with him a handsome Ta'ride, who will be a welcome addition to the Whata Whata district. — It is said that over £600 has been offered for Nelson and McMurray's claim, where rich gold was lately found, in the Wai Koromiko, Coromandel. — The friends of Mr. Sutherland, of the Wharf Hotel, will be glad to learn that he is recovering slowly f rom nis late serious attack of llness. — Captain Cavarly, who was here as "boss" •of one of the mailboats some little time ago, has been appointed to the command of the City of Tokio, the commodore vessel of the line. — The story of poor old Sam Brown's illegal incarceration in the lock-up is goingshe round of the Australian papers, each of which titivate it with a few words of scathing criticism. When Hitchens' 50 cases of Blood Restorer arrived in Sydney, 25 cases were retained by the Customs' authorities until the amount of duty to be levied could be determined. — It is rumoured that a youth, with a somewhat babyish face, purposes going to the Fancy Ball, at the Choral Hall, as "an infant," with bottle, ring, rattle, and napkin all complete. — The coming Fancy Ball, at the Choral, seems to be the all-absorbing topic of conversation just at present. One hears nothing but " What are you going as, my dear ?" — The inhabitants of the would-be-aristo-cratic suburb of Parnell are rejoicing over the prospect of a three-penny 'bus. Crowther can, however, easily drive it off the road by giving credit. — Nat Brassey, the coroner at the Thames, has been up in Auckland " giving the girls a treat." He is filled with righteous indignation because someone mistook him for, and addressed him as, "Mr. Luckie.",!

— The clerks in the Bank of New Zealand are very indignant that Jim Coates should be described as the handsomest man in Auckland. They claim that honour for their own accountant, Mr. Watt. — A run-away marriage has supplied^ Remuera people with a new subject of gossip. It is said that the first intimation which the young lady's parents received of the affair was from the" matrimonial column of the daily papers. — Allan West intends to build a large hall for dancing piirposes on his return from England, about six months hence. The site will probably be in Wellesley-street East, near Worthington's school. — What is this I hear about a certain medico who came out to the colony in charge of one of Shaw, Saville's vessels being inveigled, whilst drunk, into marrying an up-country barmaid ? Further particulars requested. — Asked what lie thought of the OBSERVER, Jim Goates said, "Urn, ah! that paper will have to improve if it's to be a success." This, too, after my calling him the handsomest man in town. Ingratitude ! thy name is— James Coates. — The pianiste of the Hart Troupe thinks my remark about "second-class professionals" rather rough. There was, lie admits, some little difficulty with Host Hill about Mr. and Mrs. Hart's bill ; but that arose through a difference of opinion re the value of Mr. Hart's breakages. — A most al-lamb-ing circumstance has taken place at Helcnsville. The folks there are going to cut a John-t (of) Lamb, and serve the poor beast up hot— very hot— at the R.M. Court, with Mount Eden Sauce. Isn't it lam(b)entable. — Jim Robinson, whose premises were the scene of the struggle for possession between the bailiffs and the lumpers, is well-known at the Thames, having had the management of Messrs. Cosgrave and Co.'s branch there. — The "School Chronicle" has been assured on good authority that on the voyage from Auckland to Sydney the great .yachtsman, whose name has figured so prominently in connection with the Toy and Gleam, was so seasick that he had to be held from jumping overboard. — A correspondent, whose handwriting is suspiciously boy-like, informs me that a certain gentleman,' known as "the long-necked gander of Rcmuera, " is about to take unto himself a blooming and buxom wife. The happy pair go to Stokes' Point for the honeymoon. — The Dictator of the Telegraph Department, Dr. Lemon, has been singularly fortunate lately. In carrying out the retrenchments ordered by the House of Representatives, he seems to 'have taken the opportunity of disembarrassing himself of all his seniors in office. — George Lacy describes his trip to the Hot Lakes of New Zealand, in the "Australian Magazine" for September. The "Bay of Plenty Times " has good reason to remember that excursion of Mr. Lacy's. It cost the proprietor a pretty penny. — The Secretary of the Auckland Amateur Daub Club is advised to procure the services of certain artists who draw pigs with their eyes shut. They might (a correspondent thinks) give lessons to some of the Club who need instruction to draw with their eyes open. — "There are so few parties now in Auckland "is the common remark. My boys, you have ouly yourselves to thank for that. Materfamilias says, that, unltss the host is inclined, or can afford to have wine and brandy flowing like water, no men arc to be had. " Late hours at the bank, you kuow." — At a late meeting of the Thames Borough Council, on the vexed question of subsidizing the Big Pump, a puny but very religiouslyinclined young man was seen by numerous passers by with his ear glued to the keyhole, listening intently. Query" : Could it have been a "Star " reporter in disguise ? — On hearing the result of the case Senrell v. Dodds, at the R.M. Court, Mrs. Fitzwilliam, for whom the fatal cab was engaged, very properly handed Mr. Searell the costs he had been let in for by a hard-hearted minion of the law. This unselfish act calmed the large-souled composer'sgreat heart. — The eye-witness, who sent us the account of the fracas at the Victoria, has forwarded the following : — Teddy,— You may rant; you may rave; deny as you will, — But the truth of that story clings to it still. No. 4 of the Orserver will contain four etchings of the Wednesday "Skating Rink" at the Choral Hall, " Pen and Ink Portraits. " No. 3, " Mr. Reader Wood," continuation of " Six Months on a Barren Rock, &c, &c." In preparation—" A Glimpse of the Bank of New Zealand." — Why is it that some of our great save-alls, who eagerly cut down the salaries and wages of pubSc servants, so that the offices may be filled with, cheap and subservient tools, are never found to say much about the screAvs paid to insurance and bank companies' managers and clerks ? — At the meeting of Cotter and Copeland's Eink, last Friday night, there was a lively discussion about certain surplus funds amounting to £3. Some wished to give it to the local charities, whilst others opined that it should be spent in light refreshments— such as lemonade, soda, and buns. I havn't heard how the matter was settled. — M. Barthelenry-Saint-Hilaire, the new French Minister of Foreign Affairs (whom the " Herald " styles " Bartholemy Hilare ") commenced life as a journalist on the Paris "Globe." He is a litterateur of some merit, and has written a number of books on classical subjects, such as the "Politique Aristotle," " La Logic[ue Aristotle," &c.

— It was dinner time in a select boarding house, not fifty-miles from Queen-street, when the new boarder arrived. He was a venerablelooking gentleman, with silvery hair, and his face beamed with a sweet repose betokening a pure and holy life. As he joined the table the landlady said, ""Would you ask a blessing, sir?." The venerable stranger shouted, "You'll have to talk louder, marni ; I'm so d — d deaf." — Auckland has been entertaining royalty unawares. A member of the Guelph family ("suoli a dawg," too) condescends to live amongst us— plebian us— when he might be revelling in the society of Albert Eddard ; chatting with Aunt Vicky, or doing a turn on the light fantastic with Alexandra. The soubriquet by which this mudest but aristocratic creature appears to be Lord H . ■ — The " Free Press," in a delightfully-patro-nizing paragraph, says the Observer has not hit the popular taste. Very well ; now I'll tell you what I'll do, Mr. Branie. Your paper is a two-year-old child, and mine is only a weakly infant ; nevertheless, lam game to make you a friendly wager of five pounds that in the matter of circulation, at any rate, the OBSERVER is the healthier of the two. Say "done," and we'll have the matter properly gone into. — Some curious people (what a nuisance these folks are) want to know, "you know," if the owners of property in Princes-street, through Albert Barrack, did not get the right to fence in the public ground-* fronting Bowen-street ; or what is the part of the ground set apart for public recreation on some conditions as to planting natiA r e trees, and if such conditions have been kept ? If not, why not ? and wherefore are they allowed to keep this pleasant side of the lull fenced oft' from the real owners, viz., the public ? — The game of "Digby " was scarcely done justice to last issue. It is played thus :— Mary, or Annie, or Jessie asks, "Do you know Digby"/" and accompanies the question Avith a playful dig in the the ribs or shoulder. When the victim is green he, of course, replies " No," upon which his femalc-tormenter ejaculates, "What! not know Digby-Digby-Digby ? " poking him repeatedly in the ribs until he sees the joke. Persons of obtuse disposition have, ere now, been "Digbied " into an early grave. — That nice dark-complexioned youth has left Auckland for Sydney, and the young ladies of a certain Church are sorrowful and troubled in consequence. No more will bright eyes beam lovingly on him ; and those pleasant evening walks form food for jealous rivalry. Humour says that pearly teardrops fell in showers down the cheeks of at least one fair creature when the last sad good-bye had to bo said ; but of course this is only a rumour. — Some time ago one of our " merchant princes "' bought a piece of land in one of the aristocratic suburbs. The land included the vegetable garden of the vt-ndor, who said to the purchaser, "I suppose, Pickles, you have no objection to me taking the cabbages I planted." " I most decidedly object," was the reply. " I bought the land with eveiy thing in it and on it. 1 intend to take those cabbages to the North Shore for my own use." Such meanness was hardly to be expected from a distinguished traveller and author. — An Auckland lady went to Sydney some time ago. She took a return ticket, but circumstances prevented her coming back by a steamer belonging to the company which had issued the return ticket. She thus had a halfticket which was of no use. The lady was not poor, but she could not bear to think she had paid for something she could not use. She, therefore, made another journey to Sydney for the sole purpose of using her half -ticket. This is rather like the man who found a bung and got a barrel made to put it in. — There is a well-known (and, of course, " highly- respected ") linn in town which, by bribing the press with advertisements, has hitherto managed to keep certain tricks of the trade well "under the rose." Unfortunately, the "happy pair" (there are two " bosses," and one of them is the leading light of a popular religious sect) don't altogether hit off with their employees, and several of the latter have been to me with a most amazing tale. I don't like to tell it straight out, but am making enquiries, and hope, in a Aveek or tAvo, to be able to lay the plain facts before the public. MeanAvhile, householders, be careful where you buy your furniture, &c. — When "the boys" (by which name the remnants of the Steele Dramatic Company are known) want a glass of sherry, they betake themselves to the lioyal Mail Hotel, and lure Host Codlin into telling his famous yarn about the day he dined Avith the Prince of Wales. If this veracious narrative is listened to with wrapt interest, and without any symptom of incredulity, Mr. Codlin, rubbing his hands, Avinds up by saying, "and iioav, Mr. So-and-So, Avill you join me in a glass of sherry?" Of course Mr. So-and-So says he couldn't think of it ; but generally speaking his scruples are overcome before long. The " Star " pretends to be a friend of mine ; but the odd thousands who read that sensational print have probably noticed that since the Observer came out, desperate efforts have been made to be first with any little items I Avas likely to publish. After ignoring dramatic and musical paragraphs for months, the "Star" .«eems to have suddenly conceived a i powerful affection for them, and the "Bulletin's" stage gossip is transferred to the Luminary's columns Ayholesale. Moreover each i day the so-called " Scintillations " groAv longer. I don't complain ; it is quite right of course. Only of the tAvo, 1 think the " Herald's " open enmity is preferable to the " Star's " spurious friendship, — I am indebted to the "Lancet" for the information that Tanner's experiment is frequently tried on dumb animals, and also that it is a useless experiment. Charming ! Fancy the poor dog, sloAvly starved to death, enduring all the pangs of hunger and the maddening torture of unquenched thirst. Picture those

kind gentle eyes that once looked up with love into a master's face, starting from the poor beast's head with torture — while men of science stand round and beam and enjoy the " interesting experiment." It seems horrible to believe that this slow and ghastly torture of poor dumb beasts is Avantonly indulged in, yet there can be no doubt of it. The "Lancet" says no good can come of Tanner's experiment. What good, then, I ask, can come of the experiment on dumb beasts ? None. — Some good stories are told about Host Codlin, of the Royal Mail Hotel. On one occasion, a " highly-respected citizen " who lunches there, found fault with the tins in which the vegetables are served. "For heaven's sake, Codlin," he observed, "get rid of those infernal tins!" "Do you know, Sir," replied Mr. Codlin, much ruffled, and quite forgetting in the excitement of the moment to rub his hands, "that in my hotel in Sheffield, which was a first-class one, we always used tins like those." "Did you!" retorted the luncher sceptically; "Well, I never was in a Yorkshire gaol, so I can't say what they use there." Codlin collapsed. — A shopkeeper in one of the suburbs combines the office of postmaster with his ordinary business of selling "rags." He is blessed with a wife who has even more than the average womans' curiosity. One day a buxom servant girl went into the shop and asked if there were any letters for her. The postmaster's wife looked, and found a letter for the girl. She then asked her where she expected the letter to come from, and from whom. The girl told her it was from her sweetheart and gave his name and address. "I'll just see if this letter is from him," said the old lady. So she opened the letter, read it, and then gave it to the girl. — Prof. Proctor explains away the Lot-wife miracle by proving that she was only buried under a meteoric shower of sodium. Now, this simplifies it. This brings it out of the fanciful realm of the supernatural, and places it within the sphere of every-day events. We always had very grave doubts about the pillar of salt business, but when science kindly explains that the poor woman was simply buried under a meteoric fall of sodium, then we can readily accept it. There is nothing singular, remarkable or unusual about that. Very few people are there, indeed, who do not know of hundreds of instances in which their friends and acquaintances have been caught out in a shower of sodium, and buried. It is wonderful, indeed, how science simplifies the miracles. — The efforts made by a paternal government to prevent those simple, innocent people — the Maoris — from being defrauded of their lands are extremely praiseworthy ; but they frequently give rise to curious anomalies. The law requires that when any Maori signs a deed disposing of his land, the document must be in terpreted in the Maori language, so that he may understand what he is doing. The other day an aboriginal land-owner was about to sign a deed. It was duly interpreted into Maori, and read over to him, when he requested that it might be read in English, as he did not quite understand it. He had been educated at one of the mission stations, and had a better knowledge of English than of his mother tongue. — This is what Geo. R. Sims, a very popular writer, and a hater of humbug, says of Sunday Schools : — Their work " are best at a distance. I lived near one once, and the scholars were a public nuisance. That a hundred disorderly children should be drawn together, and then turned loose on a respectable neighbourhood to quarrel, shout, yell, and disturb the quiet of Lord's Day is monstrous. I have seen a quiet terrace converted into a bear-garden Suuday after Sunday by the Sunday Scholars, and hundreds of neighbourhoods, have cause for complaint. The teachers, too, are in most cases half-educated, conceited, and frivolous young men and women, who flirt and ogle each other and get into all manner of mischief. Police cases are quite common in which Sunday School teachers figure in a dubious light, and it is a grave question if the whole system is not radically Avrong. " — " Capt." William Jackson Barry (an Otago celebrity), who identified the Tichborne claimant as the "real Simon Pure ;" who received a letter from the Queen — dined with any number of "live lords," and has published the remarkable book "Forty Years Colonial Experience," made himself conspicuous at the races lately held at Forbury. He wanted a mount for the Hurry-Scurry, and was put on a piebald "screw," but only managed to come in third, although he waited in the straight until the finish. What the gallant " Capting's" account of this feat will be it is difficult to surmise ; but unless his inventive facilities have been impaired, it is sure to form an interesting chapter in his " Upsand Downs." The Captain intends to lecture, and sell his books, throughout New Zealand, before going home again, and so we Aucklanders may expect a treat. "Please bear in mind," says my Dunedin correspondent, "that he always likes to be reported 'bearbatum,' to use his own term." I have been told, too, on good authority, that he informed a friend he had found ' ' a blooming mountain of lumbago, and intended to start a pencil factory ; " and it is certainly a fact that, when Mayor of Cromwell, he asked for "a robe of velvet trimmed with vermin."

The increase of gambling clubs in London is attracting attention. Recently a club was established to play baccarat on the cash principle, and in one night an officer lost £11,000. Of this spoil a well-known viscount netted £8,000. The " cash principle" soon degenerates into 1.0.U.'5, " et id hoc genus," and however pleasant gaming may be, it is evidently the interest of " society" to frown down associations whose great end is the ruin of the rich fool. The Sydney people are disgusted with \vha they term the meanness of the Melbourne Internationa Regatta Committee, in offering a prize of £300 for the first-class yacht race. They think £3000 would have been small enough to set apart for that purpose, and as an Auckland yacht is going all the way to Melbourne to compete, we heartily say " Amen." My advertisements are increasing so rapidly that I find it absolutely necessary to (temporarily, at any rate) enlarge the paper. Next issue, the Observer will consist of teh, instead of eight pages.