A WINNER.

Thames Star, Volume LVII, Issue 15120, 5 January 1922, Page 7

A WINNER.

HUMOUR OF A PARROT TALKING COMPETITION. A few good parrot stories from our readers. One of them tells the story of the breeder who tried vainly to get any one of his dozen birds to repeat after him a certain sentence in view of a forthcoming competition, the first prize of which a silver cup. Finally, losing patience, he exclaimed. “ Great-Scott! What a rotten lot of parrots!” and flounced out ’of the room. A few hours later the show was held, and the breeder selected one of his birds at haphazard, with practically no hope of being successful. As it happened, the cage containing his exhibit was almost the last one to he uncovered by the judges. The bird gazed critically round at the occupants of the other cages, then exclaimed in tones of deep disgust, mimicking his owner’s accent to perfection, “ Great Scott! What a rotten lot of parrots!” He won the cup. TRICES AT THE OLD BAILEY. It was this same dealer who., when explaining to. a prospective buyer the accomplishments of one of his" birds, wound up by saying, “Ho is a very clever parrot and talks beautifully.” “You’re a liar,” said the bird. A parrot kept in a cage outside liis master’s house in the Old Bailey used to sav, when a knack came to the front door, “Go-to the gate.” As there was no such thing visible, the puzzled caller would he sure to ask “What gate?” To this the bird would reply “Newgate!” and burst, into loud guffaws of laughter. > Another good parrot story concerns a bird who had been taught by the sailors on the voyage home a choice collection of profane words. Bought by a London dealer, he eventually came into the possession of some farming folk of pious tendencies. "With a view to try to break him of his bad habits, these good people doused him with water every time he. swore. On one occasion, a number of small chicks that had been drenched in, a shower were brought in to dry by the kitchen fire. Directly the parrot saw them he cocked his head on one side, regarded them intently for several seconds, then shrieked out: “Darned little fools! Been sweafing.”

POLLY AS DOORKEEPER. A doctor residing in Bloomsbury trained his parrot to say, whenever a patient knocked: “ Open the door and call the doctor.” _ It was noticed, however, that sometimes the bird reversed the order by saying, “Open the doctor and call the door.” As the parrot on these occasions was apparently quite unconscious of having made any mistake, the separate words of which the sentence was composed evidently conveyed no idea to its mind.,