Wit and Humor.

Thames Star, Volume XXIII, Issue 7180, 10 May 1892, Page 1

Wit and Humor.

Bulso--How did you manage to get through that crowd ? I had to wait for half-an-hour.

Cumso—l was smoking that cigar you gave me,.

He—And you can only be a sister to me? She—That "sail. He—Then please kiss me good-bye; my sister always does.

Penelope—Do you see that handsome fellow at the piano? I rejected him once. Predite — That's nothing. I rejected him twice.

Lord de Masse—They have some singu lar marriages in Chicago, I hear. Bond—Oh, I suppose so—now and then; but, as a rule, they're plural.

Sunday-school teacher (sadly) —I'm afraid, Johnny, that I will never meet you in heaven.

Johnny—Why ? What have you been doing now ?

Passmore—So you are married, I hear ? Hippie—Yes. Gone to live with the girl's parents, I suppose ? No; they have come to live with me.

O'Toole—Faith, it's my Tim that's the noble lad !

Mrs O'Call—ls he, thin ? Mrs O'Toole-He is that. There's ne'er a boy in the whole world can give the polace the shlip as well as he can.

Little Dot (gazing out of the window)— I've stood here an' watched an' watched over an' over again, an' I never saw a letter go over those telegraph wires yet. Little Dick—No, and you never will, goosy. Those is 'lectric light wires.

Mr Watts—lf that isn't juat like a woman. Buttoning up her shoes with a hairpin.

Mrs Watts—l don't care. Didn't I hear you telling Mr Johns about having to put on your hat with a shoe horn ?

Ana how do you take the death of your grandfather, Mr Fogg ? Oh, very bard, Miss Puff, very hard. You see this is the first time grandfather ever died.

The gaols are filled and overflowing, your highness. Shall we build new ones ? Most certainly not. Proclaim a general pardon of the occupants. Then we can fill 'em up again.