Untitled

Thames Star, Volume VII, Issue 2145, 18 November 1875, Page 2

Concern fob His Ghildben.—-Ho wore a slouch hat, and carried a whip in his hand as he sauntered into a Niagara Falls hotel, and by the home-made~style he put on, one could see he belonged around there—ia fact, was nothing less than a representative hackman. But ho looked thoughtful, and the landlord soon noticing it, inquired :— *' What's the matter, Tom ? Are you sick, or haven't you made a hundred dollars to-day, or what ig up that you look so pensive P"" I've heerd suthin' to-day, colonel, that's sot me m a thinkin'," was the reply. " What is it Tom?" "Wai, there was a gentleman, with long whiskers and a professorishi looking coat, talkin' on the 'JVTerican side, this morn kinder wiseish likq, and I heern him say as how he'd figured it out that in 7,800,000 years the Falls of Niagara will 'a worn away, and there won't be none left at all.". "Suppose there isn't," said the landlord joculai'ly, "that will not affect you; you'il be dead and gone long before then." " No; I know it wouldn't affect me, colonel," said the passenger pirate with feeling, " but I can't bear to think that the chances I'm having to make money'll be taken from my children !" . And though the landlord tried to console him with a genealogical calculation of the chances yet left for his family, the hackman would not be comforted, and stalked away to meet the incoming train, with the air of a man who, was bound to make the most of his opportunity while it lasted.—American paper.

A Misunderstanding. —A* certain chemist's, shop keeps periodicals for sale, and one day a young lady came in and asked for a paper for a week back. The proprietor, who has but little to do with this branch of the business thinking only of medicine, gave her a plaster, and the poor girl fainted.—London paper. " "Jury," said a Western judge, "you kin go out and find a verdict. If you can't find one of your own, get the one the last jury used." The jury returned a verdict of suicide in the ninth degree.