FLIRTATION.

Thames Star, Volume VII, Issue 2079, 2 September 1875, Page 3

FLIRTATION.

By M. on N

There is, probably, no question upon which greater injustice is done to woman both by her own sex and oars than that of flirtation. A flirt has become a recognised term of opprobrium. When we want to express severe condemnation of some girl who pleased us and made her- j self agreeable to us at a ball or party last week, but who met with some one last night that she thought was better worth her attention, instead of meekly receiving her change of manner as a proof of our own unworthiness, we go about proclaiming that she is a flirt, that she has no heart, that all she cares for is admiration, «nd that, in effect, she is a sort of social repfobrato who should be shunned by every one of a proper frame of mind. Of the, married woman who makes herself agreeable to men much severer things are-said. >A -wife who. sees her husband Openly paying attention to another man's wife hag a difficulty, in-finding words sufficiently strong in which to express her scorn and disgust at such disgraceful conduct. She hardly knows.who is most to blame; the woman for encouraging, or the man for weakly yielding to it. They are both bad, but, as he couldn't be bad by himself, let him be ever so ill disposed, she gives him the benefit of the doubt, and forgives him that she may heap coals of,fire on the other's head. She ought to be ashamed of herself to flirt in such a way with, a married man. She can think very little of her own husband Or her own. character; she must think people are fools (which, on the authority of Carlyle, they mostly are), if they can't see. what she is after: and she has no patience—women so seldom have !—at the mother of two or more children, as the case may he, giving herself the airs of a young girl.' Now, I must, with all due respect to the opinions of society, acknowledge myself an open avowed admirer of flirts and .flirtations. I can sympathise with the wounded feelings of meu, for I have been Mt myself. I can understand and make allowances for the natural indignation that wives experience at seeing other.men's, wives paid attention to while they are neglected. I am candid enough to be able to put myself in the place of sulky .lovers and sullen dames, and yet, with my hand on my heart declare that I can see nothing wrong in flirting. Flirting is to real love making what sham battles are to real; war. JSo soldier could learn his profession so-'as to enable him to win a place in the shrine of fame without going through a great deal of make-believe. When young Napoleon led his comrades iv his military school to storm, in the face of a shower of snow balls, the entrenchments of the enemy, he flirted with the goddess Bellona ; but that flirtation helped him in after years to cross the bridge of Lodi, and win the day at Austerlitz. Wellington paved thejway to his successes in India and the Peninsula . by sham-fighting in the Phcetiix-park. And when the combined forces of Gerzoay, France, and Eussia are driven with terrible slaughter from our shores, Colonel Anderson will be able to boast that it was the inkling he got into military operations through the Easter campaign on the Saltwater* Kiver that first made him a general. V And so with our youths and maidens. They could not go without, great risk, inexperienced and unprepared, into the substantial dangers of love-making. There must first be friendly contests, with masks on face 3 and button^ on foils. There may be, of cbur»e, some real damage done. It is all in play, but a thrust well aimed in the ardour of the sport may pierce a weak defence, and lay the foundation of a lasting heart disease. The man may be, perhaps, a little off his guard ; the woman quick of eye, nimble of. wrist, with her whole soul in the game, seizes the opportunity and before; we take advantage of the warning "guard" he finds himself gmitten in the tenderestpart and a cripple for life. But it. is all done in.fair play. He knows as well as she what danger there i 3 in playing with edged tools, and if he is hit the oftener it isi because he won't take the precaution that she does. Men only flirt as an occasional relaxation 5 women follow it as the serious amusement of their lives. . „ „ But the great argument m favour 01 "flirtation is that without it social life would soou c«me to an end. Young men

and women seek each other's company only for the purpose of indulging in this fascinating amusement. Who would care to dance, for instance, but for the opportunities it afforded for flirtation ? In itself dancing is a laborious and fatiguing exercise, more fitted for tha rude revels of our aboriginal fellow-country-men than for the pastime of people who have beeii taught to believe they have immortal souls. But the labour of the dance is lightened by the prospect it holds out of talking nonsense with.our partners. It is the pressuro of the lady's hand we think about, and not the figure of the ladies' chain. For the sake ot the whisper and the confidential chat we endure the excitement and the exercise. Tbe day that sees the end of flirting will witness also the downfall of the dance.

The charm about flirting wguldbe completely destroyed if the suspicion of naughtiness no. longer attached to it. People never flirfc who arc privileged to talk to each other as long as they like without attracting notice. Engaged couples, and husbands and wives, never flirt, afc least with each other. Young men and women will flirt with each other up to the very moment of the proposal of marriage, but the instant upon which that is made and accepted flirting is over with them in this life. They may wander henceforth side by side along the sea-beat shore; they may roam arm in arm, or even hand in hand—such things are—through our public gardens on moonlight nights, gazing wistfully into each other,s eyes, and kissings at intervals from a sheer lack of words with which to express the emotions they are charged with ; they niay sit silently together in ballroom corners, read off the same book in church, or get lost to their fellows for two or three hours at a picnic ; and yet no one. will accuse them of flirting. Flirting ceases when the engagement commences, and can only be renewed with some one else.

And let us all be thankful that it can be renewed with some one else.- It would be a sad world if flirtation were forbidden to all those who devote themselves to the solemn pursuit of matrimony. Just as old soldiers delight in the review and the sham battle> so married people like to renew the sensation of their antinuptiul days by the mild excitement of a flirtation. In the flirtation of unmarried people there is always a feeling of insecurity, a'sense of danger, a knowledge that the possibility exists of a fatal termination if they allow their feelings to carry them too far.- But married people can flirt to their heart's content, and laugh at the consequences. They have secured a position which enables them to enjoy the society of the opposite sex in peace. They can smile on each other, and make pretty speeches and even sigh and say soft things ; and while the world is looking suspiciously on wagging its grey head, and arching its eyebrows at tbe outrageous flirtation, as it wonders how on earth her husband or his wife can permit it, the married flirters pursue the even tenour of their way conscious that by their original sacrifice they have earned the right to behave as they could not behave if they were free.—Australasian.