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Thames Star, Volume VII, Issue 1945, 30 March 1875, Page 4

. Americans Abboad,—-He said that he was an American citizen, and that his name was Hiram Thompson, when Mr Flowers the London magistrate at Bow•treet, asked him what he meant by such conduct. Mr Thompson, it appears, thought fit to attend the performances at the Covent Garden Theatre, after the manner of his dear native land, with a sextuple shooter in his pocket, and possibly with several cocktails of his country in his stomach. In the temple of evening pleasure he meandered with the gay revellers of the promenade, And while music arose with its voluptuous swell, -Mr Thompson contributed an obbligato, reminding one of some of Mr Gilmore's Coliseum pieces, by letting off one -barrel of his revolver. Policepergeant Marlowe, 5 E. 8., had the Columbian by tide collar in a minute, and within 10 minutes had him locked up, with the revolver impounded. After a night snent in a gloomy dungeon, the illfated Hiram was haled before the tribunal and asked to explain himself. Mr Abrams, in his behalf, observed to the court that his client in America was in the habit of carrying a revolver. The judge sagaciously shook his head, and said he didn't know. He was somewhat inclined to believe the affair an accident. A hole in the prisoner's pocket—rof course at the wrong end of it—was rather suspicious, for be, the magistrate, had heard that "Americans sometimes fired through their pockets at an adversary." After relieving his mind of this tremendous piece of foreign intelligence, Mr Flowers proceeded to order Mr Hiram Thompson to enter into his own recognisance in the ■urn of £40, with one surety in £20, for his future good behaviour. A stranger in * strange land, we trust that Mr Thompson found surety without bothering the Amerisau Embassy; and that he will, while he remains abroad, in future sternly refrain from the American practice of firing at an adversary through the pocket. r-New York Tribune. There is a"leading citizen" in a Massachusetts town, who, after having heard the church committee discuss whether it was better to have two or three aisles in their new church, broke in with —'• Wai, you may talk about your new kinds of ile as much as you're a mind to, but I never yet see any ile or gas as good as the old fashioned lamp ile." A Frenchman was one day remonstrating against the contempt expressed by Englishmen for French beef, the inferiority of which he could not admit. "I have been two times in England," said he, "but Inevarefind the beef so superieur to ours. I found it vary conTeenient that they bring it you on leetle pieces of stick for one penny, but I do not find the beef, superieur." "Good gracious, sir 1" exclaimed the Englishman, aghast, "you have been eating cat's meat for beef!"

A "journeyman grammar-smasher" is what one St. Louis editor terms another.