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Thames Star, Volume VI, Issue 1846, 2 December 1874, Page 3

That boy of Colville's has been in trouble again. He was playing in Mr Coney's yard, next door, right after dinner, on Thursday. He had Mrs Coney's dog harnessed to a wash' Boiler, and was driving up and down a cobble walk, when that lady came out with a finger in each ear, and told him he must clear out as she expected company at 2 o'clock, and his noise was altogether.to much for the occasion. His obedience was jnore prompt than she had any reason to expect or desire. In fact, he left at once, first giving the boiler a kick that nearly decapitated the dog at both ends. Mrs Coney was obliged to unhitch the dog herself, which, she did after a considerable trouble in catching him. It appears that the bell of Mrs Coney's door is somewhat stiff in the spring, and rather difficult to sound. Thi3 factwas wellknown to. young Colville, and while Mrs Coney was chasing the dog the youthful miscreant stole into the house, and with the help of a file fixed that door-bellso as it would pull easy. At 2 o'clock promptly, the pastor of Mrs Coney's church came up on the steps of Mrs Coney's house, and being aware that the bell pull wanted considerable muscle, gave it it a sharp twitch, and immediately left the steps heads first, with the bellknob clutched in his hand 6ft of the wire swinging above him. In the descent he split his coat the whole length of his back, broke down the gate, completely ruined his fat, and seriously bruised both elbows. Mrs Coney, who was looking through the blinds all the lime, was verymuch shocked by the accident, but promply led the gentleman into the house and as promptly dressed his wounds. An examination.of the bell revealed that it had Wen trifled with, and as Mrs Coney was quite confident Colville's boy had done it, she reported it to Mr Colville that she actually heard him say he would "fix that bell." The autumn term of school commenced yesterday, but Colville's boy was not there.—American paper. ADiscxrssiONl^TEßfi^i'TßD.— After unscrewing the top, and examining the interior, Bunder's uncle took a. seat on the plug, and began to discuss with Bunder the question of C«Barisni and the depressions in the price of pig iron. In the yery heat of the controversy the superindent up at the reservoir turned the water

on for the purpose of washing out the pipes. Two minutes afterwards Bunder saw his uncle suddenly shoot 20ft. into the air, followed by a column of water six inches thick, and during the succeeding quarter of an hour, while the fountain continued to play, old Horace Bunder remained on the top of that column, with his legs pointing in quick succession to all the points of the compass, and to the earth and to the sky, sometimes resing upon his stomach, sometimes with the water in the small of his back, but never for a moment at rest. Bunder tried to turn the patent valve in the plug, but it wouldn't work, and he could only stand there and gaze on the scene, ana feel sick, as he waited for his venerable relative to come down. At last the old man did decend, all of a sudden, landing upon his back in the mud. JSny other man would have expressed himself in violent language, but Horace merely rose, squeezed tlie water out of his hair, picked up his hat and shook it, glanced contemp tuously at Bunder, went up and kicked the patient tire plug, jammed his hat firmly over his eyes, took the 4 o'clock train to town, and bet're he changed his clothes altered his will so that 40,000 dollars he intended for Bunder go to any man who will invent an infernal machine which will exterminate Bunder's patent rights, for that fire-plug can be had at a sacrifice. — MaxAdeler.

The Gkasshoppee Plague. — The grasshopper no longer " sits on the sweet potato vine," because he has left himself no sweet potato vine whereupon to beseat him. The West rtads a certain chapter of Genesis with a terrible "realising sense."