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Thames Star, Volume VI, Issue 1846, 2 December 1874, Page 2

How They Finally Got Mabbied.— One long summer afternoon there came to ■Mr. Davidson's the most curious speciof an old bachelor the world ever heard of. He was old, grey, wrinkled, and odd. He hated old women, especially old maids, and wasn't afraid to say so. He and Aunt Patty had it hot whenever chance drew them together; yet still he came, and it was noticed that Aunt Patty took unusual pains with her dress whenever he was expected. One day the contest waged unusually strong, and Aunt Patty left in disgust and went out into the garden. " That bear!" she muttered to herself as she stopped to gather a flower which attracted her attention. "What did you run for?" said a gruff voice behind her. "To get rid of you." " You didn't do it, did you?" " No; you are worse than a burdock burr." "You won't get rid of me either." "I won't, eh?" "Only"in one way." " And that ?'' " Marry me." " What! us two fools get married! What would people say ?" " That's nothing to us. Come, say yes or no; I'm in a hurry." "Well,no,then." "Verywell; good-bye ; I shan't come again." " Stop a bit—what a pucker you're in." " Yes or no!" " I must consult—" •' All right; I thought you were of age ; Good-bye." " Jabez Andrews, don't be a fool. Come back, I say. Why, I believe the critter has taken me for earnest. Jabez Andrews, I'Jl consider." " I don't want any considering : I'm going. Becky Hastings is waiting for me. I thought I'd give you the first chance, Patty. All right ;• good bye " " Jabez 1 Jabez! That stuck-up Becky Hastings shan't have him! Jabez, Yes. Do you hear—Y-e-s," —Providence Journal.

A time to keep silent is when your arc bathing, and, a party of ladies unconsciously sit by your clothes and remain there for half an hour, the water in which you're immersed being decidedly chilly. This is recommended as a means of strengthening your powers of. self-res-traint. You are not, of course, debarred from addressing such trifling remarks to yourself as you. may deem fit.

The best time to pick out a wife is in house-cleaning time. Select one with, her sleeves and skirts pinned up, and a mop pail in her hand. The kind thai; you don't want, go visiting, and leave their mothers and the hired woman to do the work.