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Thames Star, Volume VI, Issue 1845, 1 December 1874, Page 3

morning.

Veby Likely.— It is contended by a New York paper that trout-fishing is not a cruel sport—that the wriggling of the fish, on dry land is not indicative of agony, but of ecstasy. It has been taken from the water, where there is butlittl. oxygen, into the air, where there is a good deal of it. and feels just as a percon does when ho takes the laughing gas, and suffers no more pain. Oh! A Chicaoo Lochinvar.—ln the yery latest Chicago elopement the persecuted but devoted lover snatched his bride from the enraged parents in the fourteenth story of a fashionable hotel, and made good their escape by wildly tossing her palpitating form into tbe descending elevator just as the old man reached, too late, the empty landing. Love without money has been cynically compared to a pair of shiny leather boots without soles.

A young mother says that you may always know an old bachelor by the fact of his always speaking of a baby as " it." A popular preacher lately enriched one of his sermons with this jewel— " Remember, I beseech you, that we are sailing dewn the stream of time, and must inevitably land in the ocean of eternity." An officer in the Washington Navy Yard announces that he rhas an old and reliable bunion, which he is desirous of exchanging for a modern sort of barometer that will not get so excited at every little shower that comes "up. Onb foe Yottb Eye.—Punch has received the following from somebody signing himself " A Bookmaker." He would hardly have thought so from the •tyle, Here it is :—

" If I wins a stake amongst bettors, And gets only 1 alf wot I gains. Why is that like tho twenty-six letters, Dear " Punch," that our l«mguidge c»ntaiflß?"

" Give ifc up, old ' oss ? " Well— "' Cos don't you see that what I per Amounts to jast the ' Alf-a-befc." [All right for once, but don't try it on again. " Punch" strongly objects to undue familiarity from anybody; above all, from illiterate turfites.]— Punch, When does a man pha/e with a silver razor ?—Whan he cuts off his heirs with a shilling.