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Booting Abound in a Mabble Yard. —When "Washington studied medicine, a great deal of difficulty was experienced in procuring dead bodies for dissection, and the students at his college used to make forays upon.the cemeteries at night for the purpose of maintaining the supply. One daj they heard of the interment of a person who died of a mysterious malady, »nd they determined to resurrect the remains. That night Washington and his friends started out without a lantern, but with plenty of spades and shovels. When they came to the place, and saw the white marble tombstones, they climbed over the fence, and after a while found a spot where the earth was apparently fresh. Then they began to dig. Ihey dug for two hours, and went down about 24ft. After they had excavated a big enough hole to make a couple of cellers and a rifle pit, they concluded that they must have been at the wrong spot. They picked out another place where the grouad had fust been upturned, and after nearly bursting a blood-vessel a-piece, and getting out a few hundred tons of dirt, they knocked off, and as they sat down on the edge of the hole to rest and wipe 6ft' the perspiration, they expressed their astonishment at the scarcity of bodies at that particular burial-ground. It was getting on for morning then, but they determined to try once more. Just as they removed the first shovelful of earth, Washington, who had been wandering around the place meanwhile, suddenly said, in a mournful To ice : — f* Boys, I think we had better go home now." " Why ? What for ?" they asked. " Well, I think, anyhow, we'd better knock off now on account of various things." " What d'you mean ? What d'you want to go home for?" asked the crowd, "Well," said Washington, "I think it would bo judicious for several reasoms, but principally because we've been roptin' around here all the night in a marble-yard." They did go home. They had gotten over the wrong fence, the cemetery being a few steps further down the road.—-American paper. A Yankee Kotbi..—A little salt must be sprink led over the following before it is swallowed : —The, latest American progress in.building will be the Mammoth Hotel, soon to. be erected in Chicago. This enormous hotel is to have a frontage of three English miles, and a depth of six miles. The height of seventy-seven stories will measure 3,480 feet from the ground floor to the roof. The hotel will have no stairs, but five hundred balloons will always be ready to take visitors up to their rooms.""Ho.,room-waiters are to be employed, but visitors will be served tea newly invented automatic, put up UPevery bed-room which will do all the shaving, shampooing, &c ; , for the guests —a very simple and ingenious mechanism. Supposing the guest requires hot water, the automatic will be able to call down stairs, "A bucket of hot water up to room numberonemillionthree thousand one hundred and seven!" and the water will be up m seven seconds by the patent elevator. One-half hour before the table d'hote, instead of the ringiag. of bells, a gun (24----pounder) will be fired on each floor to call the guests to get ready for their meals. The tables in the, dining-room will measure four miles each, attendance to be perlbrmedjby twelve waiters on horseback on either side of the table. 3^usic during J#lf d'fcpte will b«played gratia by eight

bands of soventy-seven men each. For the convenience of visitors a railway will be built on each floor, as well as telegraph offices. The price ®f one bed-room will be from one to ten dollars. The cost of this building is estimated to be £680,000, OOOdls. The billiard-room will contain nine hundred American, ninety-nine French, and one English table-; and most of the visitors arc expected to be American. The billiard-room will be fitted out with a spittoon of one hundred feet in circum r erence.—From the Berlin National Zeitung. What Mkn Like in Women.—Men do not care for excess of brains in women. They like a sympathetic intellect which can follow them and seize their thoughts as quickly as they are uttered, but they do not much care i'op any clear or special knowledge -of facts; iind even the most philosophic among them would ra'her not be set right in a classical quotation, an astronomical calculation, or the exact ! bearing of a political question by a lovely I being in tarletane whom ho was graciously unbending to instruct. Neither do they Want anything very strong-minded. To most men, indeed, the ieminine strongmindedness that can discuss immoral problems without blushing, and despise religious observances as useful only to weak souls, is a quality as unwomanly, as a well-developed biceps or a huge fist would be. It is sympathy not antagonism —it is companionship, not rivalry, still less supremacy, that they like in women ; I and some women with brains as well as I learning—for the two are not the same thing—understand this, and keep their blue stockings well covered by their petticoats. A gentleman riding on horseback came upon an Irishman who was fencing in a most barren and desolate piece of land. " What are you fencing in that lot for, Pat?" he asked. "A herd of cattle would starve to death on that land." '" And sure, yer honor," replied Pat, " wasn't I fencin' it in to kape the poor bastes out ay it ? "

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https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/THS18741123.2.18

Bibliographic details

Thames Star, Volume VI, Issue 1838, 23 November 1874, Page 3

Word Count
911

Untitled Thames Star, Volume VI, Issue 1838, 23 November 1874, Page 3

Untitled Thames Star, Volume VI, Issue 1838, 23 November 1874, Page 3

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