A FIGHT WITH THE STARS.

Thames Star, Volume VI, Issue 1823, 5 November 1874, Page 2

A FIGHT WITH THE STARS.

Spriggs had been hoeing hi« garden all the afternoon, had eaten a supper of mag.nificient proportions, and was now sitting on the porch of his house, reading an account of the newly discovered comet. His infant, a little graft from the older Spriggs, lay nestled in his lap asleep, and the partner of his " jaws" was flaying " pokayj" as Spriggs called the chuck billiards, on the lawn near by with Dusenbury's wife, a neighbour; - Spriggs eagerly devoured ~ every intelligence respecting the comet, and finally considered his gardem in danger, should, the eccentric starry wanderer ever strike the earth ; then fie glanced elsewhere over the paper —at tht last Congressional squall, the report of the Weather Bureau, the dog smothering in New York; read a personal, " Meet me to-night, love, at the old place, with a dark lantern.—Alfred," skipped " A Horrible Murder 1"- also " A Sickening Tragedy I " pondered on a poem on " Summer," then his eyes closed and his head began to nod.

The comet was the first thing he saw in his dream. Its head was as big as a house and lot, and its tail resembled a torch-light procession. It was just where he supposed it was—directly under the Camel Leopard. The comec seemed to see Spriggs about the time that Spriggs saw the comet, and "made for" him forthwith. Spriggs kept his eye on the comet for some time. On glancing aside he saw to his dismay that the Camel Leopard was coming for him too 1 This was a stunner. He coald hare dodged the comet, perhaps : but the Camel Leopard was too much. The fact was, as I hare intimated, Spriggs fell asleep. He had been reading about the approaching comet for sereral days, and studying pictorial astronomical maps, and brightening up a good|deal on hearenly matters generally, and he probably nerer knew so much in his life about stars, as he did just before slumbering. He had contemplated going out that rerynight to observe the "animals" in the sky. He dropped off, I say, with his mind ablaze with stars, his imagination full of astronomical animals, and a tremendous comet in his eye. It is therefore not to be wondered at that he should sec in the iky Taurus shaking his head and thrashing his tail from side to side. "If that bull starts," murmured Spriggs, inwardly, " I'm a goner." The bull started, jump* ing forty feet to a jump, " murder in the first degree in its eye," emotional insanity gleaming along its horns, and its tail describing swift and monstrous circles in the air, as it thundered madly at Spriggs. The latter brightened up a little, howeTer, on perceiving the Po:ar Star start after Taurus with a pole, but his heart sank within him when the great bear began to erowl. " Oh, Lordy!" groaned Spriggs in his sleep, "What shall I do?" The comet was rapidly approaching. "If that comet hits me," thought Spriggs, drawing himself up in his chair, " Good-bye, John " The bull was prancing along behind the comet at a tremendous pace, the

Camel Leopard a length behind him, and the great boar and Pola 3 star dashing along in the rear. "If 1 was a-buying pools "—thought SpriggjJ, with a grim smile—but the smile and the sentence faded away, at the glimpse of these new and formidable enemies. Mrs. Spriggjj had just hit Mrs. Dusonbury's croquetball, sending it iulo tho asparagus bed making too wickeis, and missing the post, when Spriggs descried Hercules astride of Pegasus, and swiugiug a liberty poi« ; Cerberus, the littlo bear, and a choice selection of" northern nnd southern constellations wiTo following Hercules. As these -hove in sight, .Spriggs abandoned all hopes. With a look of resignation on his face he faintly whispered, "Ta'eme, I'm yours ! " Mrs. Sprggs had now hit the post and was flitting about the middle arch. Mrs. Dusenbury was ''stealthily get ing her ball into good position. The mallet of Mrs. Spriggs was raised on high, and whs just about to descend, when a loud and prolonged howl (rom the porch arrested her attention. Sho turned thither, and the sight she saw transfixed her. Her husband was leaning back in his chair against the house, one leg elevated to an astonishing height, and kicking out with desperate energy. With a determined clutch he held the infant aloft; his left hand was raised and clenched, and on his face there was an expression of frenzy. Hig wife shrjofcd 'and rushed to the rescue ; Mrs. Dusenbury followed. As they reached the miserable man he commenced to dodge, and duck, and curvet around in his chair like a madman. " Sprigjjs! "yelled his wife, rushing at him, but he only dodged and answered, "Gimme a chance, you bloody ruffi'ns ! " " Spriggs! " «creahied his wife again, shaking him as hard as she could. Dodging several constellations, Spriggs put in his left at one of them, and—sent his wife to grass, shrieking, " Take that, you ole tom-cat!" He continued ducking about as if dodging all the signs of the zodiac—" Come on, you cowardly blaggards ! Thrash away with your ole pole! Gimme room accordin' to my strength, and I'll wallop the whole party; " Then he threw the baby at the Great Bearflooring Mrs Dusenbury, and "probably would have fallen in the unequal combat if Mr. Spriggs had not broken ' a maple. mallet over his head, rescued him from ' the starry orbs of night, and introdiced. him again into this world of sin -and sorrow. Spriggs shudders when he, makes his toilet how, for there is a little bare spot on the top of his cranium where the mallet struck, which reminds him of, the Great Bear, et al. He has lost all. interest in astronony.—Danbnry JiTews.