HOW TO FIND A WOMAN'S POCKET.

Thames Star, Volume VI, Issue 1822, 4 November 1874, Page 3

HOW TO FIND A WOMAN'S POCKET.

; The most difficult thing to reach is a woman's pos|fct. This is especially the case if the dress is hung up in a closet, and the man is in a hurry on such an occasion. The owner of the dress is in the sitting room serenely engrossed in a book. Having told him that the article he is in quest of is in her dress pocket in the closet, she has discharged her whole duty in the, matter, and can afford to feel ■erene. He goes at ths task with a dim consciousness that he has been there before, but. says nothing. On opening the closet door and finding himself confronted ■jvith a number of dresses, all turned iniideout, and presenting a most formidable front, he hastens back to say "Which dress?" and being told the brown one, •: and also asked if she has so many dresses that there.need be any great effort.to. find the right one, he returns to the closet with alacrity and soon|has his hands on 'the brown dress. It is inside out, like j the rest —a fact he does not notice, how--1 ever, until he has made several ineffectual attempts to get his hand into it.' Then he turns it around very carefully, and passes over the pocket several times without being aware of it. , A nervous movement of his hands, and an appearance ©f perspiration on his forehead are perceptible. He now dives one hand, in at the back, and feeding around, finds a place and proceeds to explore, when he discover that he is following up the inside of a lining. Tl:» nervousness increases, also the perspiration. He twitches the dress on the hook, and suddenly the pocket, white, plump and exasperating, comes to view. Then he sighs the relief he feels, and is mentally grateful ho did not allow himself to use tfny offensive expressions. It is all right now. There is the pocket in plain view—not the inside, but the outside—and all he has to do is to put his hand right around in the inside and take out the article. That is all. He can't help but smile to think how near he was to getting mad. Then he puts his hand around to the other side. He does not feel the opening. He pushes a little further—now he has got it —he shoves the hand down, and is very much surprised to see it appear opposite his knees. He has made a mistake. He tries again; again he feels the entrance and glides down it only to appear again as before. This makes him open his eyes , and straighten his face.. He feels the outside of the pocket, pinches it curiously, lifts it up, shakes it, and after peering closely about the root of it he says, "By Gracious!" and commences again. He does it calmly this time,'because hurry, ing only makes the matter worse. He holds up breadtk after breadth, goes over them carefully, gets his hand first into a lining, then into the air again (where it always surprises him when it appears), and finally into a pocket, and is about to cry oflt with triumph, when he discovers, that it is the pocket to another dress. He is mad now; the closet air

almost stifles him; he is so nervous he can hardly contain himself, and the pocket looks at him so exasperatingly that he cannot help but plug it with his olenched fists, and immediately does it. Being somewhat relieved, by this performance, he has a chance to look about him, and sees that he has put hisfoot through a bandbox, and into his wife's bonnet—has broken the rim to Ms Panama hat which was hanging in the same closet, and torn about , a yard of bugle trimming from a new cloak. As all this trouble i« due directly to his wife's infatuation injhanging up her dresses inside out, he immediately starts after her, and impetuoutly urging her to the closet, excitedly and almost profanely intimates hi» doubts of there being a pocket in the dress, anyway. The cause of the unhappy disaster quietly inserts her hand inside the robe, and directly brings it forth with the »ought-for article in its clasp, He doesn't know but this makes him madder than anything else.— Eanbury News. % ;