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Thames Star, Volume VI, Issue 1797, 6 October 1874, Page 3

Heaetbending;— "My spirits are crushed, Jane; crushed,", sobbed Mrs. Marrowfat to' Mrs. Quoggs. "That lovely bowquette—you remember —■which it was I, Margery-Marrowfat,, as sent it to 1 Mrs. Splivine's-funeral." Vv Tell, the card got lost, and nobody knowed as who it come from.'*„, And hero her great anguish slopped over afresh.-yßrooklya Argus.

He Could Wait.—" If I save 10 cents a day from my drink," ruminated old Rednose, " It will be 36d0l. x 50c. a year, and in 50 years it will be 1,825d01. and then I can marry Mary. Dear Mary.-~ Brooklyn Argus.

A Cairo man dropped dead the other week immediately after drinking a glass of ginger ale. But then it wasn't the ginger ale that hurt him—it was a bullet fired from the other side of the street. — American paper.

Caught his Foot.—A little boy in a Danbury family caught his foot 1n some .worsted'that, his sister was working the sentence, " God is Love," in perforated cardboard, and got a crack on the car that will lay him up for a fortnight—if it does not injure him for life.

Pbotection.—•'• Why will you rob me?" said the Prince to his favourite cook. " You know that I cannot part with you; but I don't like, to be robbed. ; Calculate whaf you make" by robbing me; let me know what it is, and I will add it to your salary." The cook required time to.think of the proposal, and after mature deliberation said, " Sir, I have well considered what you offered, but T cannot .consent, I must rob you." "Arid'so it ig with the' protected interests—they must rob. jpn. —Albany Fonblanque.

Intebesting Inquibt.—-A., Bostoa newspaper, as if aggravating conundrums enough had not been started already, wants to now "Why two-thirds of the hotel clerks are bald?" If this, be the fact, pfiwhiish we are not surest may be because the' forces- of nature have been diverted from the scalp to the cultivation of supernatural cheek. Possibly these gentlemen sell their liaiiv fa raise'money for the purchase of shirt-pins. Or the consignment of innocent and wayworn travellers to the sixteenth story may subsequently breed remorse (though we doubt it), and remorse may, in turn, produce the billiard-ball baldness. But it isn't a problem with which, in thia hot weather, we care to grapple.—New York Tribune. •--■...••.-. ..... - .-■.■. -w