Banting is outdone at last, and people distressed at their own corpulency can be reduced to the very smallest dimensions if only they will, as the Yankee physician informed his patient, submit to a painful process. That patient submitted and his cure was perfect, the method of it being after the following manner:—"The fat man' was requested to remove his coat and vest, after which the physician surrounded him with wires, attaching the ends to a powerful batterp. At a signal from the doctor, Manager Eddy let on the current. The patient writhed and twisted when he felt the currcut passing around him ; still he stood like a martyr. Presently he began to shrink; he grew smaller and smaller; his clothing hung in bags|about his fast diminishing iorm, the doctor felt much pleased at the result of his experiment, while the former fat man's joy was very great, although he seemed to be suffering acute pain. There was another result, however, as well. . All of a sudden there was heard a loud clicking at the instrument, as if Pandemonium's great hall had been let loose. The operator. ■ sprang quickly to answer the call. He ascertained it was from the Itfew York office. He asked, "What's up P" An answer came back as if some infuriated demon was at the other end of the wire " What in thunder are you about ? cut off yeur wires quick—you are filling the New York office with, soap grease." TyvENTY Yeaes Lost.—The Albury Banner furnishes the following incident, and vouches for its truth: —" Soma twenty years ago a gentleman arrived from .England in the colony, and obtained a situation as overseer of a station not far from the Border. When going out on the run fie was in the habit; of carrying a small pocket-flask of spirits' This flask he chanced to loose, and although he knew pretty nearly the spot where it was dropped he could never succeed in recovering the article. In the course of timehe fell^heir to a considerable prop-^ erty at hoirie, and, abandoning his billet, he went to another part of the colony, where he resided for many years, and occupied a good posi. ion. H everses came, however, speculations turned out., badly, and by degrees, from comparative, affluence, the man became dependent upon his manual labour for his daily bread, working in various parts of the Ovens and Murray districts as a splitter and fencer. It chanced that in the course of his peregrinations fie found himself lately near the scene of his former labours, now developed into a tolerably populous place, and here he obtained a small contract for posts andi .rail...fencing. {- While/carrying out; this work, he had occasion to remove a large fallen tree which lay the pressure to it. had been subjected, lay the silver flask lost a score of years befort." -
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Bibliographic details
Thames Star, Volume VI, Issue 1788, 25 September 1874, Page 3
Word Count
476Untitled Thames Star, Volume VI, Issue 1788, 25 September 1874, Page 3
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