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Thames Star, Volume VI, Issue 1787, 24 September 1874, Page 2

Bbkaking- the News Gently.—"When the lamented ) - Judge Bagley tripped and fell down the court-house stairs and broke his neck," says Mark Twain in the Galaxy, "it was a great question how to break the news to poor Mrs. Bagley. But finally the body was put into Higgings' waggon, and he was instructed to take it to Mrs. B , but to be very guarded and discreot in his language, and not to break the news to her at once, but to doit gradually and gently. When Higgins. got there. with, his.sad freight, he shouted tillvJMErs.*Bagley. came to the door; then he said.—'DQesthe widder Bagley live here/?' The: widow Bagley? No, sir I'- 1 I'll bet she'does. But have it your otvtiway.; Well; fades Judge Bagley live here?' 'Yes; Judge Bagley lives here,'..,. "'.l'll bet he don't. But never mind—it ain't for mo to contradict. Is the Judge in ??' No/ (T jest expected. ,as ■, .much. • Because, you know—take hold o' suthin,' mum, for I'm a going to make a little communication, and I reckon maybe it'll jar you some. There's been an accident, mum ; I've got the. old judge curled up here in the waggon—and when you see him you'll acknowledge yourself that an inquest is about the only thing that could be a comfort to him.' After the above specimen of gentleness, we would not care to see Mr. Higgins ' cutting up rough. "

Jk. StrBPRfSE.— The habit of hanging mackerel on a nail near the door to drip, broke up a match in Essex-st. Wednesday night. ; '.flhe couple got home.lafcw in the evening, and?going around back of the house so as not to disturb the folks, they sat down on a stoop to thinks During the process she leaned her head, in a n,ew spring hat, against the house, and became absorbed in the stars aud other improvements, whileVhe tenderly eyed his boots. About half an hour was spent in this profitable occupation, when the young man felt something, trickles down his neck. "Don't weep, Julia," h|fgtftlj murmured; "I ain't*"" said she, surprised. He looked up, and his eyes rested on an oozy substance) at ;the: back of head. " What's that on the back of your hat?" he cried. She jumped out at this interrogation, -and instinctively placing her hand on the back;of\her head, drevv it away again full of an unpleasantly flavored slimer. With a shriek of rage and pa-sion the infuriated girl tore;- the: mackerel from the nail and trampled it beneath her feet, jvhile she sualehed off her hat and J tore it in shreds with her livid fingers. , The horror-stricken young man, not knowing what else to doi jumped the first fence and disappeared, and hasnt been seen since by the unfortunate girU —Danbury News. , ,- : , - ;