LADIES' COLUMN.

Timaru Herald, Volume XIIC, Issue 13991, 28 August 1909, Page 3 (Supplement)

LADIES' COLUMN.

Social Doings for the Week.

(By Ghellie.)

Mrs Hayter is visiting Mrs Blair at Scarborough.

Mrs J. Anniss and Miss Ainu's, of Lake Tekapo, are in town for a few days.

' Mrs Winter, Balmoral Station, Fairlie, was a guest at Seftou House last week.

Mrs L. Stewart, Merrivale Christchurch, and two cbiklrenj are staying at Seftou House.

Mr and Mrs Maling, Otipua road, will move into Seftou House iu a. few months' time.

Miss McKeuzic, of " Heathficld," Palmerston.South, daughter of the late Sir John and Lady McKenzie, is visfting her sister, 3lrs 31. D. Cameron, Khandallah, Wellington.

Mrs Revcll, whom for many yca'rs occupied Beverley, will go into private residence in October. Mrs E. A. Chalmers, of Seftou House, will be Mrs Iterell's successor at Beverley.

The following are guests at the Empire Hotel:—Mr and Mrs \V." H. Williams (Wellington), Mr Angus W. Smith. (Wellington), Mr E. C. Brown (Christchurch), Mr J. J. Sullivan lUunedinJ, Mr Leslie Bray (London), Air Arthur Burt (Sydney), 31 r A. ii. Alackrill (Dtinedin), 3Jr A. Aloss manager Pollard's Opera Company), Air Alex Hey, Air Alex. Thomson (Dunedin), Mr T. -Schotield (Christchurch), Messrs Gill and H. Watts, Wicks, Alagners, and King (Christchurch), 3lr G. 31itchell (Duncdin).

Durinj the visit of the vice-regal party to Christchureh for Grand ISational week, Lady Plunket delivered an address at the Girls' Friendly Society's meeting, held at Miss Cox's rooms in Hereford Street. The hall was tilled to overflowing, and the utmost interest and enthusiasm was manifested. Mrs Julius, wife of Bishop Julius, occupied the chair, and referred in a brief introductory address to the laudabje tendency towards Imperialism in all the interests of the Empire in Church, defence, and commerce. This wider out look would also be applied to the Girls' Friendly Society.; it should be regarded not as a parochial or dioccson institution, hut as one most sincerely anxious to work effectually from "the wider part of view, as a part- 'of the whole Anglican Church. Her Excellency, Lady I'iunfcet, who is a charming speaker, gave a most interesting address. She said that she had been connected with the society as a member when a girl, and as an associate after her marriage". It was a Friendly Society—a great freemasonry amongst women and girls to help one another and take an interest in one another. There was only one thing about which she thought was misunderstood. It was very seldom that they found girls of leisure joining. There was an erroneous idea that the Society was meant only for those engaged in household work. Girls of leisure needed as much help as others, and they could not only give but gain a great deal by joining. It had always seemed to her that their neglect to join was thie to a sort of snobbishness. It did not matter what a girl did: it was what she was that mattered. The girl of leisure was no better than one who scrubbed the. floor- — in fact, she was not quite as. good, as. she was wasting her time very often. The Society was not merely a local hobby, but a great Society all over the world. Its workers met girls in strange towns, where they were lonely and unknown, and did their share in helping then and disposing of the feeling of loneliness. The Society also - saved many girls for traps laid for them, as it investigated situations offered to induce girls to go to cities, which were strange to them. Many of these situations were sho.vn to be cruel hoaxes. Her Excellency reminded her audience that the Auckland Society intended to build a lodge, and* advised the members tn Christchureh to hurry up ami not let Auckland beat them. OX THE BRINK. To marry or not to marry? That is the question! Tims the modern L % young mau and equally modern niai- ■' den. In his ease.' selfishness, perhaps: in hers, prudence, or want of opportunity is the stumbling block, and either a convenient answer. But often the chiefest reason is that the consequent expens? Ls so uncertain; neither has had the absolute management of a small-income*, and both fear the result. Can anyone wonder? The man's salary that has hitherto been not overmuch for one must, if the i desperate answer to an equally desperf ate question be "yes," henceforth suffice for two; counting a servant, for three, of course. and, if God wills, for the "quiver full of them" that are the posse 'and esse of a double existence. How much can I marry on? Say. rather, how little? For, after "all. that is the actual practical question. How little can I give my wife fnr the house-keeping: how little for her ciothes; how little for the servant's wages: how little can I pay for house-rent? How much can I keep for my personal expenses, for the insurance policy, that should go hand-in-hnnd with the marriage lottery: for the hundred and one unconsidered items that will eventually confront nie with their ever"-helming arguments? How mm-h will it cost to furnish a small house- Wow long will tin* furniture last? Can we keep a record of expenditure that may guide |:>ter on to retrenchment if necessary? Hmv can I know exactly what, per week, coals ,-in-f lighting should <-r».st Hoilran I live on C'JoO a year, or less, and keep U|> a drrr.it aopearanr" ? It is indeed ••< problem. l>ut one that has been solved runny a time by lici.p'e whoj-e inerK.l trend has not been ~f t'ie ••■-' *'•••'' ••••usider ■ s**ch *«>'••- ♦ ions |»iMi'- property. .Most of the It.ippine-- »f marri'd lit'.- depends on th" rxpenVo.f of the first year, and a deal more depends on the balancing of the weekly accounts. To the question, "How little ran I merry on?" .he answer is difficult, for the puzzle is how to keep up an appearance on a small income, and Uow to keep out of debt if you do! ■Vssuming then that- a young couple decide to risk fhe chances of marrying on an income of ..L'2-jO a year, they oitgiit. In- rerefill management to be able to liv in a small flat in or near town (if they prefer), pay their own nay, quietly" entertain a fnv friends, and have a tiny balance in band at the end of each ye-ir. having lived in positive if careful comfort. A fl*t ran be taken for three ]-<r<, and the first vnr ef maried life is the nust diffi-iilt. Tf in three years t'-e balance of affection is as well to fhe fore as t!>" b=»lanc" at the bark, there is hor>e for th" future; and the rxnerience gniiie.l w'll greatlv e.l?" *'•" difficulties of the first, move, which nrnbably. fe r the =ake of those de.'r little ne==ibiliti"f f hn> .*" often '-psult on marriage, will be further afield and

towards suburbia, where- tlicro is always tho greater chauco of making friends. For it must be admitted tbat to be married, if it means dignity, often means dulncss to the young wife cut off from the daily lioino companionship. Everything around her is new. She cannot always be tidying up. Nothing wants mending; her trousseau is complete. The one servant no wife should lie expected to do without can perform the domestic work, and there is n lot of spare time to be filled tip somehow. How can this be occupied ? Chieflv by the conscientious preparation of herself for the cares and anxieties of the future, for which ho educational system is considered necessary. For the throe most important stations in life —matrimony, parenthood, and house management—the least serious thought is taken. As our Ministry said about the war: "Somehow or other we always muddle through " ; but the stern lessons taught en route mean broken hearts all the same, whether it be peace or war! Every young wife (for nowadays no houses are far from shops) should cater for herself from the first, and learn what she can actually buy J"or the small stuns at her command. She should not be above her small marketings or, if this is infra dig., in the early days she can take her maid with her and teach her the value of economic choice.

Two pounds a week should cover housekeeping, with three meat meals daily, washing, coals, oil for lamps, flowers, etc., and leave a small balance for postage-and' '« lds-and-ends, or to be put by towards a fund that will be useful for supplying the many little useful hut- uninteresting things that are constantly being required. And for this two pounds a week the best of meat, butter, vegetables, cooking fruit, oil-shop necessities and groceries can be bought, and if the coal and lighting comes out of the husband's pocket all the better for the wife, who will be able to save a little more towards the end of entertaining quietly, without which effort no circle of friendship can be kept together. If the wife is not to have an allowance but to submit her accounts to her husband, then she should receive a weekly allowance of pocket-money so as not to.be under the painful necessity of asking for what she needs to spend. Few men can stand the test, unmoved, of thcwoek's accounts. The mere sight of the washing bill sends them into transports not exactly of deliidit. For this reason alone it were better to give the freedom of the housekeeping purse to the wife and cheerfully ai'reo to a charitv fine if the occasional examination of her books results in an ebullition of temper.

Newly-married men generally expect too nuicJi <-t their meals, forgetting that- their wives have about as much (taking the above scale of means) to speml in; a meal for three as the husband would in the old days have spent on lunch or supper for one, and little comfort in the serving of it.

Two pounds a week to provide wages, firing, lighting, laundry, butcher's meat, bread, greengrocery, and oilshop necessaries. Just imagine a man trying to spread it out! Many a- woman will say it should amply suffice. Many "ill say: "It cannot be dour." It can -he done however, with careful management. By experience, alone, we learn; ami is not experience the name we give to our mistakes? C.ll. FOOD IN DISGUISE. The fail for lavishly decorated food is going out. At one time the guest at "afternoon tea furtively worried a sandwich which was tied up with pink baby-ribbon, and only got an unsatisfactory mouthful or two for all the trouble.

Did you ever try to untie one uf these decorated .sandwiches when you had on your best gloves, and chicken mayonnaise percolated out through the ribiions of the sorry bit of food? And yet there was a time when many a good woman .served sandwiches tied with baby-ribbon and fancied herself the extreme of stvle.

There were cakes and bonbons, of course, the platters of dresscd-up sandwiches, looking much ashamed of themselves, but determined to avenge the indignities that thev. as honest and tasty foodstuff. had suffered on every white glove thev could come in contact with that day.' We don't do that .so much now. 'To-day a .sandwich is a sandwich. We do nut serve salads in hollowedout apples any more either. Nobody wants to eat an apple skin, and we, who always had simple tastes, were conscious 'of a sudden dismay when confronted with one of these deceptive hollowed-out apples, "gracefully arranged," as the cooking teachers say, on the white leaves of lettuce. A bas the h"llowed-out apple with .salad inside! Do not disgraco the noble fruit by taking out all its good inside and stuffing it with chunks of cucumber and onion and walnuts, all -mixed up with dressing. What becomes "of the insides of these good salad apple-shells? Probably the i-ok. who's :• sensible soul, makes stewed apple of them aud takes it home to

her brood, who like apple, and would scorn a cucumber and onion and nut mixture. The useful orange, also, it shaped into little baskets with handles, and then filled with orange jelly or orange sherbet, and the happy guest at dinner does acrobatic feats with a spoon getting into the basket without breaking the handle, and thereby incurring his hostess's wrath.

And as for fancy cakes. Well, it you ever got one of the- little empty shells of sugar which masquerades under the name of cake, and you happened to think of the rich, moist golden poundcake, in lavish slices, or that used to bo handed out for tea, didn't you eve your foolish modern cake .hard, 'and decide that the times were degenerating ?

SI'KIXG CLEANING. The coming of spring inevitably begets thoughts of spring cleaning, and housewives begin to prepare for what they consider the inevitable campaign against the year's accumulation of grime, dust, and rubbish. Some begin as early as September, although they prefer to delay it until they think the' weather is sufficiently temperate to admit of leaving off fires. Those who. commence in September do so because they are beset by the wish to get it over: this in itself shows what a bugbear this annual clean-up is to many people. For a week or two before the appointed time for beginning, the mistress of the small house is worried by the prospect of the work iu store, and wishes it were all done; whew the time arrives she has reached fever heat, and throws herself into the task with nervous energy that threatens illness for a wind-up. It must all be done and got rid off in the shortest possible time, for it is such a bother! The maid is worked from early morn till dewy eve; the mistress works just as hard, the master is pressed into the service before he leaves in the morning and as soon as he arrives home at night, and is scolded if he is' not home to the minute. The house is upside down. Everybody is overworked, worried, tired out. JRosult: an attack of nerves, irritability, quarrels over petty items, and general unliappiness. This picture is not exaggerated ; it is quite an ordinary one. • A doctor recently asked which was the prevailing illness in tho spring, replied, "Nerves, consequent on spring cleaning work. That husbands do not relish the practise of spring cleaning is very generally admitted. Isut many husbands •. '..- joct to tho slightest disturbance, so v<> will not dwell on that point. It upsets maids and mistresses. If figures

could be obtained it could do doubt be proved that more maids leave about spring cleaning time, before or after, than at any other. On the whole, spring cleaning is a mistake extraordinary in small bouses. In large ones, where n number of servants are kept, it may be different. Even then I fail to see that this yearly upheaval is necessary, if women would only briny; their intelligence to bear on the question. The whole bother might be obviated by the simple course of doing one room at a time a week between. This would render the work easy and endurable, the house would not be generally upset, and the result would be just the same. It would even bo better to .spread the cleaning over some months, doing one room every three or four weeks; you would have no nerve destroying annual labour then. Just ask yourselr, reader, if the result would not really be the same!