IN A DEAD LETTER OFFICE.

Timaru Herald, Volume LV, Issue 5747, 15 August 1893, Page 4

IN A DEAD LETTER OFFICE.

A good deal of amusement is afforded by the reports of the Dead Letter Office m London, and the Melbourne office alto reports a good deal of grotesque blundering on the part of letter writers. The authorities of the dead letter office (says the Age) are daily made confidants against their will. These gratuitous confidences are regarded with tho most honourable scrupulousness ; but at the same time there are many secrets which the official oustodians would gladly be relieved of if it were possible. Thus the poor woman who writes at regular intervals of three months from London to "My Son Joe, Australia," has caused more than ona tender hearted offioial anziety and trouble. She invariably encloses a £1 note, whioh she explains she has saved from her scanty earnings at great self sacrifice, which, however, she does not mind, seeing tbat it is to help " darling Joe." But as Australia is a tolerably large place, and there are several " Joes " m it, all the acumen of the officials has failed so far to discover this particular one. And as the old lady merely heads her letter " London," and signs her Christian name only, no belter luck has attended the efforts of the English officials to trace her. This is only one instance chosen from many, for it is perfectly astonishing to find that letters by the hundred arrive during the course of eaoh month containing money, and addressed to persons m a spirit of the most irritating and baffling vagueness. "To my husband, who lives at the corner of fJreen street," is the inscription on one envelope, and the Bole clue— which, after all, is no clue at all— to the writer is the signature " Martha " It can easily be imagined that a letter hearing the general address " Melbourne" on the outside, and inside the touching inscription, " Nunky, Bendigo," is sometimes delayed m transmission, bo, too, are the letters that era addressed m a spirit of hopeful prophecy such as "To my uncle, who came into a for! une m the Western District," or " To Sister Jt»ne, who left Bradford tbree years ego, bt d is now happily married," or '" To Jfzra, who turned over a new leaf." Of addresses m thit strain countless examples could be given. One gentleman addresses a letter to " Sandy, who rode my bay mare over the ring fence at Eureka four years ago," and another " Miss Kitty, the only girl I ever cared for." A mother writes to her boy from Manchester, and encloses a few pounds. The ltt'er simply overflows with love and concern for her boy, who, a recent. r<rrival,is probably m the deepest distress at the fancied neglectBut, of course, " Dear Will, Australia," is scarcely explicit enough f t the Post Oifioe Considering the care that the average man takes as regards thejj aotUßl handling of his money, the way many people are iv the habit of carelessly tossing coin and oheques into pillar boxes seems astounding. The regularity vit.h which £lnot«* arrive has been referred to ami this kiiid of carlessne*s appears to be epidemio ; but very large amounts are often placed m envelopes with impossible addresses. The other day a bill of exchange for £85 was found ie one of tbe clearing boxes at the Post Office addressed merely to a member of tbe numerous Hmith family. It was restored to the ttnfrjr after infinite tronble. Again, a cheque for £74 was found m an envelope addressed to no one at all. The Dead Letter Offioe, besides being the receptacle for all sorts of unexpected outpourings, acts m a curious manner as a repository of cherished manias of the insane There is an instanoe which argues an unusually grotesque delusion. For months past letters have been arriving at stated intervals, addressed to "The Patriarch of the Mt. Zion Cburoh, Jerusalem." The first two letters were duly forwarded and returned unopened and it then beoame the duty of the offioials of the office to open them. It was found tbat tho writer had enolosed £10 to the Patriarch with the request tbat he might be supplied with a goat of the same breeH mm tioned m Genesis, when Esau was ordered to go forth and procure a kid. Tbe strange part of the thing is that the letters come m at regular intervals, and are addressed from a town up tbe country. Although the town has been searched to find the sender, no trace of him can be discovered. In the miscarriage of the money, however, there is just a touch of irony. Whether there is a patriarch of Mount Zion Churoh at Jerasalem is not known, but it is believed that the lettera have been tendered to a functionary of the church, and refused on account of there being a tux nr ®ach letter of 4d. In this direction many people are penny wise and pound foolish, lumbers of letters are every year delivered to the addresses, but being improperly stamped the recipients refuse to pay the extra few pence and take them m. It is not infrequently found that such letters have valuable enclosures.