CONUNDRUMS WHOLESALE.

Timaru Herald, Volume LV, Issue 5515, 17 September 1892, Page 4

CONUNDRUMS WHOLESALE.

In reply to our advertisement " Kangaroo," who unless he is uncommonly active could not keep pace with his own conundrums, sends us the following. He little thicks wo have over 2000 already, or he would, doubtless have Bpared us the threat to send along another batch. If our readers want to know who are the punsters, riddle makers, acrostic compilers, and pnzzle inventors of New Zealand, let them offer a prize, as we have done, and if they have the same luck nothing but suicide or the mad house will save them. Doctors, clergymen, lawyers, officers of the fleet, ladies under and over 17 (or 70 for that matter), children m their teenß and out of them ; white, black, bond and free will all contribute their quota, at least we have contributions from them all ; and yet m the majority of cases they have missed the cardinal condition of our offer, which was that the WaterVury watch Bhould be the theme, and Bot a conundrum on a watch, with Watorbury added, but really unattachod ! We have had riddles turned out on the co-operative principle, the outcome of eveniog partioe, Bible classes, or other meetings of the sexes. Others have been evolved over the dinner tables of our hotele, m friendly rivairy amongst the guests. Some are sent m carefully enveloped m perfumed wrappers, with monogram and norn deplume all aufait. Others are juvenile, badly spelt, and penned m honest round hand between set pencil lines. A few are illegible as a whole or m part, and harder to " climb " than a monkey's puzzle. But none forget to add the address where the Golden Watorbury is to be Bent, and by the strangest of coincidences there is no ambiguity or unintelligibly about that part of the epistle. Oh, no, that is all right. One or two have brought theirs round, and after commending their efforts to our kind coneideration have suggested an adjonrnment to the Großvenor, or have " wicked the other eye." We remained of course immaculate ; the best proof of this being that the prizes have not jettison awarded. Borne contributors suggested that " Oivis " should be the judge ! Now we should like to know who " Oivis " is ? Am almost certain that he is a contributor, and that this suggestion came from him. Shouldn't wonder Happy thought ; can't trust "Oivis." Must get some other humourist, possibly Miss Morrison or H. S. Fish. However, wo have digressed, and now give way to Kangaroo : — 1. Why is the old series Waterbury like a kangaroo P — Answer : Because it posseises a tremendous spring. 2. Why is the sale of the Waterbury Watcb like a kangaroo?— Answe r: Because it progresses by leaps acd bounds. 3. Why are the Waterbury agents like a kangaroo ?• — Answer : Because they never get their tails between their, legs. 4. Why is the Waterbury Watch like the sun ?— Answer : Because you can (lepend upon it being up to time.' 5. What is the difference between the Waterbury Watch and moat of our goldmining companies ? Answer : The ono is wound up, started, goes till it iuub down, and you bsve a capital watch ; the other ia starter), you have to watcb your capital going till itruns down, and then — it's wound up. Tou know. Agent Waterbury Watch Co. I put the " cons." first, because I reckon that's the place they should occupy m your list of prizei. I reckon, like the baby, they oan't be beat. So kindly send on the "tioker" at your earliest convenience. If these don't take the oake (watch, I mean) jnst say so. I have a few more by me, and can trot them out to suit ; m fact, I could do 'emby contraot. '"Barkis is willin 1 ," so just »ay the word and oblige "Kangarpo." .