TIMARU DESCRIBED BY A FRIEND.

Timaru Herald, Volume LIII, Issue 5197, 18 July 1891, Page 4

TIMARU DESCRIBED BY A FRIEND.

[" A. Tramp," m Auckland Weekly News'] Feelinjr unequal to the task of describing Timarn, I proposed that a young friend of mine should do it os a practice leeson and eend it m under the norn deplume " Minorva." For a first attempt it is very creditable. I have, however, taken the liberty of an editor, —editors are always faking liberties with other people's copy—and emhellished it witb a few interpolations of my own, ond, of course, utterly ruined the sense of it, but that is an editor's privilege and the young beginner m journalism must learn to suffer without using swear words. Thus " MinTVi " :- " Many of your teaaors have, no doubt, seen the pretty littlo town flf Timaru " [it is laid out on an old bullock-dray track] "with its attractive breakwater, and extensive book country." [We admit tbe back country, but the handsome and intelligent librarian of tho Timaru Mechanics' Institute is much more attractive tbanils breakwater-Minerva need not get jealous-] "Situated midway between Christ-, church—the city of iho plains "—[plains are leminino] '' ond Dunedin il affords a pleasing resting place to the traveller wbo finds the journey to and from these cities too muoh to accomplish m tho one day. Bo arrives, cay, from the North" [that's where all tbo good fellows camo from] " at 2.40 p.m., nnd m tho first place is delighted with tbe picturesque station." [No," Miuorra," no, there i* nothing picturesque about that station after one has lunched there.] " After refreshing Ihe inner man he inquires wbut ,of intoroH i* to bo seen, and m reply is greeted with ' You must go the breakwater.' '/"he afternoon is exquisito " [hum], " Sol beams brightly m a cloudless sky. lbo pro spect seems pleiaing, to-day is just a day to bis mind" [I wish it were to-morrow], "all sunny beforo and sunny behind " [heavens dbove! and we didn't obsorvo it]; " so be lurna as directed and wenda bis way to the main wharf. Ou nearing the end of tbis part of the breakwater ho stands and gazes back on tho town. As far ns Mio oyo can Bee the waves of tbe mighty Pacific lap on the ebore. par to the loft lien Patiti Point, better known m old Now Zealand history as Bloody Jaok's Point." [We haven't got an old Now Zealand history by us, or we should turn it up and ice who the sanguinary Johnny was- see the point?] "Abovo this [B.J.s Point) aro tho Caledonian Bomoly'i> grounds." [Boodera will bo glad to know thore is come Scotch l?aven m Timaru] "The eye travels ou and the visitor is attracted by tho sight of throo larjin brick buildings." [Yes!] "Thoy are tbe ilourmills of the town and Bond out the finest flour m Now Zealand." [Gently, /uir goddi'ss, gently! All tbo money m the

Hourmills of Timaru would not induce the • proprietors of tho New Zealand Herald and Auckland Weekly News to insert such an advertisement m their reading columns. If tho millers don't send yuu a ton of flour and a new helmet for a Christmas box they ought to be kioked — and we're tbe boy to do it.] "The visitor, still looking towards the town, notes another wharf. This is the Moody Wharf. Beyond thia ogoin is a long rubble wall whioh stretobes out towords the breakwater, thus forming a large .basin' whero ships oan onobor m safety," [Where the Curagoo anchored and shelled the town ?] " Furthor on the visitor notices a iong sandy bea<*h, where the ripple of the waves is so slight as to be almost imperceptible. This, he is told, has been marked out for a bathing ground, and during the summer months it is a resort for hundreds—it is within such easy walking distance of tho town. Next summer it is to be hoped more bathing machines will be placed there." [The pleasures of hope, ah', we 1} *' ' What a great wave rose over there just now I ' tbo visitor remarks. ' Oh ! those ore the Dashing Hooks,' he is informed. I The sea dashes with tremendouß force against these immense boulders, and it is a grand Bight to ace the voluminous waves break into spray. After the manner of Southey tbey might be described as gotbering i and feathering, ond whitening and brightening, and quivering ond shivering, and hurrying and slurrying, and thundering and fl undering, and grumbling and rumbling, ond tumbling and olatteriog and shattering and battering, recoiling, turmoiling, and toiling ond boiling, sounds and motions for ever and ever ore blending all ot once and all o'er with a mighty uproar." [Did Southey say oil that ? Then he did not leave much " inging " for anyone else to do. Taihoo l~[ " Behind this picturesque point, far away m tho distance, may be se&n the refrigerating works; and also tbe houses of the engineers, which present a neat oppeariii: ••«" [A cold subjects jrs'ss me cloßor, „. '■■I'-ss dear! Do you know slat the to-rible n-.*-is tto havo lm<l tbis soasou is all alius: of so many freezing works starting? At vv'.mganui they hang their corooses outside u.'.w to freeze.] " And now tho visitor breaks- forth into, rapturous and enthusiastic exprossionß of delight." [No I did we, though ? Wonder whose maltcellar we were m laat ?] " ' What a pretty bock country you have, ho exclaims ; and truly to-doy the hills are lovely m their soaring grondeur and magnificent grace. Oh I meet nurse for a poetio child." [That's we.] "Their king too has deigned to show his lofty head and tho vißitor thorough ly appreciates the glimpse he gets of Aorangi, the eky-pieroer, 'bo near and yot so far.' " [So far so good.] "He has now keen shown everything, of interest that can bo Been from thia standpoint, ond expresses himself deligbted and grateful for a pleasant aftornoon Not forgetful of a promise to bo shown the attractions of the town itself' [it holda only ono for us j, "he gives the right hand of fellowship to his Mentor." [Most gracious , goddess, our heart ! our heart, I that's our soft spot. The other attractions you may please to send us will be handed to the chief, who still takes a kindly interest m Timaru. JWe!]