AN AMERICAN'S VIEW OF FOOTBALL.

Timaru Herald, Volume LII, Issue 5157, 2 June 1891, Page 4

AN AMERICAN'S VIEW OF FOOTBALL.

He says, If a man relished g^ing to the hoapital or the morgue iv two aeparato ambiilaneea he Bhould give football a trill before trying to enjiy himself elsewhere. Football can break up an able-bodied man ec completely m a single round that tho average railroad collision or boiler explosion feela like making un assignment for tho benefit of tbe debtors, without any statement of assets and liabilities, and going out of tlio business for good. Compared with a hotly contested game of footba!!, falling down ataira with a rooking stove m yonr anna is not m it. A young man who bas had no experience whatever m the game can go m, and m ten minutes acquire a compound frncture of the bones of both legs, which afterwards may refuse to become reconciled and keep him on crutches for the rest of his lifo ; or he may get a handful of ribs loosened from hia spinal column and at the same timo acquire a laxation of the mucus-membrane or tome of the other Latin parts of hia body. Are there any other health provoking gamea that hold out such enticing inducements to the sport-lo»ing youth of the nineteenth century? I trow not. If a man fairly aches to go through life with hia Adam's apple nestling coßily under hb left ear, while hie battered nose looks as if it was anxious to turn the next corner to the right before it gets there, i he may find what he needs m a gamo of football, whioh unitea the moat excitine features of riding a bucking broncho with thoße of tbe sluggish roan, for often tho dull thud of a alugger can bo hoard above tho waile of the wounded and dying, Founding liko the patter of a mule's hind legs on the ribs of the hired man While I admit tbat thore are lota of fun and health cerms m football, atill I don't think it is quito aa fail to lift another man up und slam him down on the ground like a cold boardinghouse buckwheat cake merely because the two gentlemon do not wear the samo kind of stockings. Other men who defy the pross and pulpit by leaving tho door open m winter or by blowing cigarette smoke m your face are not dealt with ao harshly. Tho unities abould be proeerrod as far ua po-pible. It is not right to disseminate a ud over a twenty uoro boll ground, or invito a coterie of friends to jump on hia prostrate form until be has b> en pressed or flattened out like a beautiful autumn loaf m a family Bible, unleso he haa said something derogatory about the female mernbora of tho family of the disseminators or tried to sing " Little Annij llooney ." At loaat that

ia the way I look at if..

In Kngland and Wiles 45 nut. of ovory 100 pernios who dio at over fl') years of uge remvo v pssupyr's funer.il. An ingenious Frenchman Ims discovered a ire-ess of r.i'-'vering the tin con'ainod m tho wash waters of >-. i llc wliijli have batm w.-iuhf-d, an.l has nui:ur lintjlv rm.vivrt I from Ihe Krcricli sS cifty t'nr tli.-' Kni'miragemont nf '• >ii')ii«l Industry thn |iri z » :;li„itoil for the u'i i-itinii nf ro. iiiii. 1 Hub'tiincoH A* it is i.-i.n.ited I Iml, l,y..n* ah/mi will vffiiof; on Miinn.l eeiimrnv i.f .1212 000 by (Ids nouns, th" gisritlmnan deserves his re .-ard. Hut, the history i.f the reel miction of waste products, iilthnugh it linn lion full nf uurpiisr-nnrid may b<< cimidcrH a'l umnzin; testimony Ui tho genius and patience of man, contains (/son says) nothing mo-r> roniiirk'iblo Minn thin profit d rived from tho rnfu>(s of this oxcensivo uilnlteruiit. Thn question hus been more than once risked why nilk rags hud n ) valuo, but they may yet, bo sought, nf cr hy dust con* tractors and mnrino store dealers, not for tho sake nf nilk, bul Lin,und if w« bavo >m industrial , mint, we might cont.amnlttto the contingency lot an old ei'k town, split, and torn bncituso it was ai much motal as textile, being converted into a dripping-pan or some other kitohen utensil. Wo understand tho ou'.h Hritish On Com* paiiy'j puro tciw h-ivo been introduced into llin (tintrict. I hey urn fro.s from ar.y excess i of [ADVT ] I Counti-sis, Ducho.is. l J nrif»s», JC-muitus, nr.i tho mastered nunim of llin now tens. Freo from aiiT n%t-e«t of astringom-y. TA7>vt.l I